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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27357973">Follow You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertRaven/pseuds/DesertRaven'>DesertRaven</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Final Fantasy XIV</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5.0 spoilers, AU, Abuse, Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arranged Marriage, Ascians (Final Fantasy XIV), Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Injury, Brief Hades/Hythlodaeus/Azem, CW: Zenos, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Elidibus has dad energy, F/M, Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Gaslighting, Implied/Referenced Abuse, It’s All Just Angst, Minor Violence, Smut, Spoilers, This bad boy can fit so many damaged characters, author has no idea how aether works, dark smut, everyone here is toxic, except Elidibus he’s just sad, just go with me on this one, no beta only shame, or auracite, plot holes big enough to fit Zenos through, tags to be added as they apply, this is a dumpster fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:41:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>45,144</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27357973</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DesertRaven/pseuds/DesertRaven</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Arranged Marriage AU</p><p>The Warrior of Light marries Elidibus-Not-Zenos, her Ancient boyfriend is not happy about it, and Real-Zenos is there too. Things get worse before they get better.</p><p>Prompt originally from <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a>.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elidibus/Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Solus zos Galvus | Emet-Selch/Warrior of Light, Zenos yae Galvus/Warrior of Light</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>203</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>177</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A modest proposal and a possessed prince</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Done.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Alisaie reacts first, of course, followed by an absolute clamor from the rest of the Alliance leaders. Only the Warrior of Light and Varis zos Galvus remain silent, staring each other down across the table.</p><p>“If this marriage will secure peace, then I accept.” She inclines her head to Varis, who does not smile but nevertheless seems amused by the turn of events. “I assume you have terms drafted?”</p><p>He nods.</p><p>“We will review them.”</p><p>Varis stands, and she is the only one to follow suit, everyone else remains in a state of stunned silence. He departs without ceremony, and a guard steps forward to deposit a stack of papers on the table before following the Emperor from the room.</p><p>There is a long, tense silence before someone finally speaks up.</p><p>“Kaya, you… you can’t honestly mean to go through with this.” Lyse stands and turns to her. “Zenos is a monster!”</p><p>“Zenos is dead, Lyse. We watched him die. Whatever is in his body, isn’t him.”</p><p>“Oh yes, marrying an Ascian, then. Much better.” Alisaie scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest.</p><p>The Alliance leaders are quiet.</p><p>“We cannot defeat the Empire in all-out war, and if we continue on this path there is a very real risk that they will use Black Rose.”</p><p>“But you can’t… Someone say something!”</p><p>“Enough.” Rhauban’s low voice, quiet but commanding. “Kaya is right, we cannot beat them. We asked for peace, these are their terms. And the one affected most has already agreed.”</p><p>“Thank you, Rhauban.” She gestured to the stack of documents. “We should review those.”</p><p>In the end, there was little to be changed. Open trade between Garlemald and the various city-states, no Imperial occupation, a council to be formed from the existing leaders. Most of it she could never hope to understand, but the heads of state assured her it was all reasonable, barring, of course, the marriage. Word was sent to Varis, and they reconvened.</p><p>“I trust you find everything satisfactory.”</p><p>She nodded, tapping the top of the stack.</p><p>“However, I will meet with Lord Zenos before the marriage”</p><p>“Will Ala Mhigo be suitable?”</p><p>She could see Lyse out of the corner of her eye, growing as red as her clothing, and shook her head. “No. Lord Hien, would you be willing to host us in Doma?”</p><p>Hien stood and bowed. The man was a consummate ruler, and she appreciated his calm in the face of this particular brand of chaos. “We have not yet completed repairs of the castle, but we would be honored to host both yourself and the Empire at the Doman Enclave.”</p><p>Kaya dipped her head by way of response, and he resumed his seat. “Is three days sufficient to make arrangements, Emperor Varis?”</p><p>“More than enough. Three days, then.” He rose from his chair, and this time everyone followed. Again she had the distinct sense that he wanted to smile, but his face remained stern as he offered a small bow before exiting the tent.</p><p>A collective breath was released as soon as the remaining guards filed out.</p><p>“Well, what now?”</p><p>“Now, Lyse, I go to Doma. And you all prepare for peace.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Three days passed uneventfully. The Garlean ship arrived at the Doman enclave without incident, received by herself and Hien. Varis, Zenos, and their small entourage debarked the vessel and had been escorted into temporary quarters until dinner. The thing occupying Zenos was polite, but remained mostly quiet throughout the meal. Eventually, the various other parties took their leave and left the Warrior of Light alone with Not-Zenos.<p>Kaya sat studying him for a long while, long enough for them to polish off most of a bottle of sake.</p><p>“Who are you, then?”</p><p>Not-Zenos tilted his head slightly as if confused. “I am not sure I understand your question.”</p><p>“Please. You know who I am, and you know that I am not a fool.” She gestured to his body. “You aren’t Zenos, and if we’re to do this I would like us to be honest with each other.”</p><p>“Very well.” She hadn’t expected him to take his true form, whatever form he took when he wasn’t stealing a body, but found herself mildly disappointed anyway when he didn’t change. “I am Elidibus.”</p><p>The name was familiar, but she had to think for a moment to recall their prior meeting. “Elidibus… the Emissary, yes?”</p><p>His lips twitched, but he didn’t quite smile. “Yes.”</p><p>She sighs, leaning back into the cushions of the low couch she occupied. What a fine mess she had gotten herself into. A small price to pay for peace, to be sure, but one she was less than comfortable with. They would expect her to live in Garlemald, far from the life she had built herself. Zenos could hardly take up residence elsewhere, given his reputation. All she knew of Garlemald was that it was far north and unbearably cold, a far cry from the deserts she loved.</p><p>“Thank you for your honesty, Elidibus.” She stands up from the couch, finding herself suddenly exhausted. “We will have appearances to keep up in public, but know that I have no desire to fulfill wifely duties behind closed doors.”</p><p>He does not seem surprised. “Of course. Sleep well, Warrior of Light.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>“Do we have to have the wedding *in* Garlemald?”<p>Kaya sighs and rubs the bridge of her nose. They had been over this many, many times in the preceding weeks. She had little input in the wedding itself, which was fine with her, all she needed to do was show up. In a few days, she will be wife to Zenos yae Galvus, heir to the Garlean Empire.</p><p>“It is a royal wedding, Lyse.”</p><p>She had come up to the airship’s deck to be alone, but her companions had followed her. She pulls her cloak tighter around her against the biting wind, she will need new clothes if she is to live in these conditions. Or perhaps she will simply never go outside again. They should have taken the offered Garlean ship, but no one had wanted to do that. Instead, she and her friends had boarded an airship in Ishgard. Lyse was the only one of the leaders to join her, leaving Ala Mhigo in Rhauban’s care. The Scions, of course, all insisted on coming. Even Urianger had been dragged out of his books. </p><p>Thancred shakes his head and leans against the railing, arms crossed over his chest. “This is a trap.”</p><p>She turns her back to a particularly vicious gust of wind and waits for it to die down before replying.</p><p>“I have no reason to suspect it is. And if anything happens,” she shrugs with a small smile, “I have killed Ascians before.”</p><p>They stand in silence for a long time, staring out at the snow-bound landscape below, until she is overwhelmed by anxiety at what she faces.</p><p>“You will stay with me, won’t you? At least until the wedding?”</p><p>Thancred squeezes her shoulder reassuringly. “We will be with you as long as you need us.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A familiar soul</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Warrior of Light had requested surprisingly little, given how much she was giving up. Just briefly, Elidibus had wondered if she truly understood what she had agreed to, and felt a faint glimmer of something like guilt. She had no family to speak of, only the core group of Scions, who she had insisted on having with her for the ceremony. Had they been of a mind to betray her, she had made it awfully convenient.</p><p>“Their airship should be arriving this afternoon. Everything is ready and all that remains is to have the ceremony.”</p><p>The ink had long since dried on the treaty paperwork, and the wedding itself was more for show than anything else.</p><p>“You might have at least asked before playing with my toys, Emissary.” </p><p>The voice precedes the appearance of the man from behind the throne by a good few seconds. Like him, the other Ascian is possessed of a form not truly his own, although he has been occupying that same body for quite some time. With the help of Varis’s cloning experiments, Solus zos Galvus appeared in his younger mortal form, looking like he had simply stepped out of his royal portrait.</p><p>“Emet-Selch. I had not expected you to join us so soon.”</p><p>Emet-Selch threw his arms wide, stepping down the raised dais to approach Elidibus. “A royal wedding, Elidibus, and my favorite great grandson’s, no less. How could I resist?”</p><p>The tension in the room is palpable. The animosity between Varis and his grand sire is no secret, and while Varis is not foolish enough to directly oppose him, he gladly would have killed the man, given the chance.</p><p>“What are you doing here, Emet-Selch?”</p><p>“Your choices seldom err, Elidibus, but I cannot help but question inviting Hydaelyn’s chosen into my empire, to share a bed with you... And making peace with the savages. My, you have been busy.”</p><p>Elidibus is no more sure of his actions than he was when he initially proposed this course to Varis, but something tells him to press on. His feelings are rarely wrong.</p><p>“I seek to correct the imbalance, as ever.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Their airship had landed at the edge of a parade ground, and there was an entire host ready to receive them. Kaya was immediately struck by how dreary everything was. Blacks and greys, occasional spots of crimson, set against a cloudy grey sky. Snow dusted the ground, though it had clearly been cleared for their arrival. Even the Ishgardian clothing Kaya wore did little to cut the chill of Ilsaberd.<p>Varis and Zenos tower over even the tallest in the crowd, both of them helmed, and they both step forward as she reaches the end of the ramp. None of them speak as they escort her between them - like a captive, she thinks - through the gathered group. The Scions trail behind, and she can feel all eyes on her. She wonders how many of the gathered recognize her as the Warrior of Light. If news of such things made it so far away. Or if she is just some strange creature due to be married to the prince. </p><p>At average height for a Midlander, she is still at least two fulms shorter than both Zenos and Varis, though she knows they are both unreasonably tall. Her dark hair and olive skin make her stick out even further among the mostly pale and blonde Garleans. Her entire merry little band must be a strange sight indeed. Still, she holds her head high.</p><p>As they pass the last person in the crowd, she thinks she sees a portal wink out of existence. It shouldn’t surprise her that more Ascians would be around, but she wonders why all the same.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Emet-Selch had been in fine form since seeing the Warrior of Light. Elidibus can feel the swirl of emotions rolling off of him in waves. As soon as it was safe to do so, they both retreated to the place between worlds, Elidibus leaving Zenos’s body empty in his chambers.<p>“What is it?”</p><p>“I know how much the years have stolen from you, Elidibus. Do you truly not remember? Can you not see it?”</p><p>The Emissary shakes his head mutely. Emet-Selch paces, agitated. It had been some time since he had seen his fellow Convocation member this upset.</p><p>“Her soul. She’s…” he laughs, though there is no humor in it.</p><p>Elidibus knows that Emet-Selch is possessed of far better memories of the past than he, but it is still discomfiting to be reminded of how much he has forgotten. The Warrior of Light's soul should have some familiarity, to hear Emet-Selch speak, but it strikes no chord within him.</p><p>“No.” Emet-Selch stops and turns sharply to him. “You cannot go through with this. Not *her*.”</p><p>“If it is any comfort, she has made clear that she has no desire to… consummate the marriage.”</p><p>Emet-Selch’s face contorts, briefly, and then he is gone, stepping through a portal to wherever it is he goes.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Hydaelyn’s chosen. He could laugh if it wasn’t so awful. Years without her. Lifetimes. Eons. Only to have her reappear as the champion of Light. And due to be married to Elidibus. The fates were indeed cruel.<p>Her soul shone like a beacon in the darkness, even sundered as it was. How he, how anyone, could have missed it… He can forgive Elidibus, with his memories fractured as they are. But Lahabrea. He should have known. Should have told him.</p><p>Emet-Selch stepped out of the portal and into her room, only to find himself at the end of a gunblade.</p><p>“Identity yourself, Ascian.” Her tone is suspicious, but not angry or frightened.</p><p>He raises his hands in mock surrender. “If you would lower your weapon, hero…”</p><p>She narrows her eyes at him as she lowers it, slightly, but maintains her grip enough that she could use it if needed. The sight of this slight thing wielding a Garlean gunblade is, he has to admit, somewhat amusing. Even if it is pointed at him.</p><p>“Who are you and what are you doing in my room?”</p><p>“Emperor Solus zos Galvus. But that isn’t the question you’re asking, is it?” Her expression remains guarded, but he can see something else in her eyes. He doesn’t dare hope. “Emet-Selch, and I merely wanted to meet the newest member of my family.”</p><p>“Emet-Selch… Have we met before?” </p><p>Recognition flickers in her blue eyes like a guttering candle, and then is snuffed out as quickly as it appeared. He can’t be disappointed that this incomplete thing doesn’t know him, no matter whose soul she contains. He steps closer, following her steps backwards until she’s between him and the wall. She licks her lips nervously, but seems to have completely forgotten the weapon in her hands.</p><p>“Have we?”</p><p>She shakes her head. “No, I would remember…” But he can hear the uncertainty in her trembling voice.</p><p>A knock on the chamber door breaks the spell. “Kaya?” A man’s voice, but not one he recognizes. One of her companions, if he had to guess. She puts her hand on his chest and shoves him away, and he’s surprised how strong she is compared to her size.</p><p>“Just a moment!” She raises her voice in the direction of the door before turning back to him. “Get out.”</p><p>“If you want to find me, hero, just whistle.” He’s still close enough that he can lean over her. “You do know how to whistle, don’t you?”</p><p>“Out!” She hisses and pushes him back again.</p><p>The air in the room crackles with energy as he opens a portal and steps through. He doesn’t spare her a second glance, but he can feel her eyes on his back until the portal closes behind him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A dress, an ill advised bottle of whiskey, and a wedding.</p><p>Alternatively: go home WoL, you’re drunk.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Does the sun ever shine here?”</p><p>Fitting that the wedding should happen on a day just as cold and dreary as the rest. At least it wasn’t snowing.</p><p>“It does, my lady. Not often.”</p><p>A sigh escapes her, sounding more morose than she intends. Kaya is on her third glass of wine, or perhaps her fourth, though more from boredom than anything else. The lalafellin woman behind her tugs her hair into a pile of curls.</p><p>“At the rate you’re drinking, Kaya, I might think you’re having second thoughts.” Thancred’s voice is teasing, but she can pick out the hopeful notes in his tone. He doesn’t want her to go through with this, none of them do, but she’s sure this is the best way. It doesn’t make it any easier.</p><p>She finishes the glass in her hand and smiles at him. “I’m a simple woman, Thancred. This is just too much for me.”</p><p>He glances at the dress displayed in the corner and laughs. It’s a huge thing, yalms of fabric billowing out from a fitted bodice. Garlean colors, not white, which is fine with her; she is a far cry from a blushing bride. She’s not sure she’ll even be able to move in the ridiculous thing.</p><p>“It’s hideous.” Alisaie is the most obvious in her foul mood, and her grousing draws a laugh from Kaya. Even the lalafel doing her hair snorts softly.</p><p>“It could certainly be less depressing. It looks like something you’d wear for a funeral.” Alphinaud, of course, is more polite in his assessment.</p><p>She wonders how Zenos will be dressed for the occasion. It’s odd to imagine him outside of combat.</p><p>“Do you suppose Zenos will be wearing all that armor?”</p><p>“He’s probably compensating for something,” Thancred answers, with a straight face. Everyone laughs at that, his joke breaking the morning’s tension. Kaya is glad they were all willing to come with her, even though she knows they all hate it.</p><p>“You shouldn’t joke about such things, my lady.” She can tell the woman is trying to maintain her composure. In a more serious tone, she adds, “The prince is not known for his good humor.”</p><p>Kaya nods, well aware that his reputation is not good even among Garleans. She can’t reveal that she knows he’s no longer himself. Based on all their intelligence, the Garleans are just barely recovering from believing him to be possessed by a demon.</p><p>She waves her empty glass. “Would someone mind?”</p><p>“Planning to be drunk for the ceremony, are you?” Thancred extends a hand and takes the glass.</p><p>“If I can help it.” She has little interest in the royal pomp and circumstance, but knows she has no choice in the matter. Might as well get a nice buzz going to make it tolerable.</p><p>“Well then, I suppose we can get into Urianger’s whiskey.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Kaya is uncomfortably warm. She blamed the dress, but it was definitely the bottle of Urianger’s whiskey that she had split with him and Thancred. She couldn’t breathe with this damned bodice. The only mercy is that her back is to the massive room, facing the… who was this again? The man responsible for officiating the ceremony. Officiant, that’s the one.<p>Zenos-Not-Zenos stood beside her in some arrangement of imperial garb. Not his armor. She almost let a giggle slip out, remembering Thancred’s joke about him compensating. Although if the bulge in his breeches is any indication… She feels herself flushing hotter at the thought. She had told Elidibus she had no intention of going to bed with him, but the alcohol and his appearance are certainly doing something for her.</p><p>The officiant cleared his throat quietly and she realized both he and Zenos were staring at her. Oh no. Was she supposed to say something? Gods, why was it so warm in here?</p><p>“The ring.” Zenos - <i>Elidibus? that was getting confusing</i> - prompts her gently.</p><p>“Sorry,” she mumbles, reaching for the ring that she’s just now noticed between them. He knows she’s drunk, the officiant knows she’s drunk, both their faces remain neutral while she’s sure she’s as red as the accents on her dress.</p><p>Her hands shake as they exchange the rings. They kiss once, chastely, to polite applause from the guests, and then finally, blessedly, they are escorted out of the hall. She begs a moment, slipping around a corner and out a door into the cold. The chilled air snaps some sobriety back into her.</p><p>“My dear hero, are you drunk?” She squeaks in surprise, stumbling forward and nearly losing her balance. If not for the hand gripping her elbow, she might have fallen on her face. “At your own wedding, what a scandal.”</p><p>“Emet-Selch. I did come out here to be alone, you know.” </p><p>Any relief she found in the cold dissipates quickly as he guides her back against a pillar. Her whole body feels warm, and his hand moving from her elbow to her waist is distracting. “Why are all of you so pretty?” Oh gods, she said that out loud. She puts her face in her hands, laughing at herself and her big, drunk mouth. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I am a bit drunk.”</p><p>She should go find Zenos-not-Zenos-Elidibus. There is meant to be a reception after the ceremony, she’s quite sure. What if he comes looking for her and finds her like this? But she looks back up at Emet-Selch and finds herself caught in his eyes. He reaches up to tuck a stray curl behind her ear and she blushes, biting her lip.</p><p>“Are you trying to seduce me, hero?”</p><p>“Is it working?” She doesn’t mean to say it, but he’s so attractive, and she feels so fuzzy, and his hand on her waist sets her skin tingling even through the layers of heavy fabric. And he’s an Ascian and Ascians are dangerous, a little voice reminds her. But has anyone ever looked at her like <i>that</i>? </p><p>All too soon, she hears voices approaching. Thancred and Alisaie, the latter clearly berating the former though she can’t quite make out the words yet.</p><p>“Enjoy the party, my dear.”</p><p>He’s gone before she can even blink, and she thumps her head back against the pillar. Damn Urianger and his whiskey, and damn the Ascian and his gorgeous face. She takes a deep breath and forces a smile before stepping out from behind the pillar to face her friends. And the party that she would now very much like to skip to find out if she does, in fact, know how to whistle.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A memory</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaya and Elidibus-Not-Zenos do not share rooms, which is just as well for her. After she made an absolute fool of herself on the night of their wedding, things have been tense.</p>
<p>She had not stopped drinking after the ceremony, though by all rights she should have. Every time she found herself at the bottom of a glass, a fresh one had appeared. And she had been so unforgivably bored being whisked from one group of people to another, none of whom had any interest in her beyond judging the oddity that was the prince’s new bride. The stolen moments she managed to get with the Scions didn’t help either. Thancred and Urianger were both terrible influences. Between the alcohol and the unresolved sexual tension with Emet-Selch, she had been a mess by the time she and Not-Zenos were escorted to his chambers. And despite her prior statements, she had tried to get him in bed. He had been a perfect gentleman about it, of course, though she distinctly remembered his obvious discomfort when she had started crying.</p>
<p>Kaya groans and buries her face in her pillow, embarrassed all over again just thinking about it. Elidibus, to his credit, has not brought it up once since the incident.</p>
<p>She knows she should get up and go train, but despite the fireplace and the ceruleum heaters the room is still colder than she would like and the bed is so warm and comfortable. A knock at the door makes the decision for her. She rolls out of bed and throws on a dressing gown over her smalls, briefly thinking that she’d probably be warmer if she would put clothes on.</p>
<p>The temptation to close the door immediately is strong. Zenos is a wall of a man, and it’s painfully obvious when he’s filling the doorway like that. And why did he wear such tight pants all the time? She would swear Elidibus was doing it on purpose. He clears his throat and she realizes she has been caught staring… again.</p>
<p>“I had expected the champion of Eorzea to be an early riser.” He maintains his flat tone, but she can tell that he’s teasing her. “I thought I might join you in your training this morning.”</p>
<p>That’s… unexpected.</p>
<p>———</p>
<p>Elidibus is a tougher opponent in Zenos’s body than she would have expected, and it’s nothing like fighting the man himself. Every move he makes is calculated, and he’s two steps ahead of her every time she attacks. By the time Kaya throws down her training blade, she’s shaking from exertion and pouring sweat despite the frigid air. She can see her breath condensing into fog above her as she lays on the ground, but she hasn’t felt this good in a while. Zenos doesn’t look anywhere near as tired, but she can see the sweat-damp patches on his black shirt.</p>
<p>“You make a formidable opponent, even in practice.”</p>
<p>Kaya laughs. “You don’t need to placate me, Elidibus. I know when I’m beat.”</p>
<p>He leans over, offering her a hand to pull her to her feet which she accepts. “It is true.”</p>
<p>She brushes the seat of her pants off and retrieves her blade from the ground, and realizes she’s grinning as she turns to look at him. She’ll admit to being unsure about him still, but Elidibus has been nice to her, which is more than she can say for just about everyone else in this damned place. It’s been lonely since the Scions returned to their duties, and though her embarrassment lingers it is nice to have his company.</p>
<p>They get strange looks as they make their way back to her rooms. Zenos was not well liked before he returned from the dead, and that has not improved despite the fact that most acknowledge his temperament has gotten better. She suspects it does not help that he insists on hiding himself away most of the time, except when Varis or the occasion demands his presence. And she is the odd little savage that is now married to the prince.</p>
<p>“Can I ask you something?” Elidibus is seated across from her at the small table in the sitting area of her quarters, and he looks at her expectantly. “Why is Emet-Selch here?”</p>
<p>It isn’t quite the way she intended to phrase the question, but ‘why is he so obsessed with me’ seemed improper. Though he hasn’t cornered her again since the day of the wedding, she’s caught him following her a couple of times. Elidibus remains quiet, considering her question, or his response.</p>
<p>“You remind him of someone we knew, once.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” It’s the only thing she can think to say.</p>
<p>“For those able to see them, souls possess a unique hue. He believes yours to be the same.”</p>
<p>“Like… reincarnation?” The Dotharl of the Azim Steppe had similar beliefs. When they explained it to her, she found some comfort in the idea that those lost were never truly gone. Bodies were just temporary vessels for something more substantial.</p>
<p>Elidibus snorts. “Nothing so savage.” She hides her displeasure behind a sip of her coffee. It can be easy to forget, sometimes, that everyone here looks down on her and the people she cares for. “But yes, souls have permanence.”</p>
<p>“Do you see it, too?”</p>
<p>His expression darkens and he looks away from her. She’s about to apologize when he speaks. “My memories have faded or been lost with time. Much of what I once knew is gone.” His response isn’t an answer, exactly, but she can feel his pain through his words.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Elidibus, I don’t mean to bring up a painful topic.”</p>
<p>Elidibus shakes his head, smiling sadly. It looks odd on Zenos’s face. Not for the first time she wonders what his true face looks like. “I am bound by my duty as emissary. Naught else matters.”</p>
<p>Is he trying to convince himself, or her? They finish their breakfast in silence.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A plan and a kiss</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is strange sitting and speaking to Emet-Selch, both of them occupying bodies not their own; Emet-Selch has been Solus for so long that they are nearly one and the same. Elidibus no longer recalls his real face. The fire burns brightly in the massive hearth, warming the room while the temperatures outside drop steadily as night falls.</p>
<p>“She asked after you. She knows you’re watching her.”</p>
<p>Emet-Slech ignores his statement. “What was your plan with her, Elidibus?”</p>
<p>Elidibus is loath to admit he has no plan. Scheming was ever the other’s strength; he himself operates largely based on instinct. If the course he chose was wrong, it would feel wrong. Unfortunately, the next step has not yet become clear.</p>
<p>“She believes herself bound to protect the lives of this shard. I offered her a means to do that.”</p>
<p>Emet-Selch is quiet in his plotting, expanding on every possibility. The Architect has remarkable foresight, and an intimate understanding of mortals thanks to his time among them. Whatever course of action he proposes, Elidibus knows he will follow.</p>
<p>“She can be controlled. It would be best if she could be swayed to our cause, but barring that…” Emet-Selch trails off, rising from his chair to pace the length of the room. Elidibus watches impassively. “You’ve spent time with her, what is she like?”</p>
<p>Elidibus frowns slightly as he considers the question. He enjoys her company when they are out of the public eye. An odd admission for him to make. “She holds a strong belief in acting for the greater good, but she is pragmatic. She is not a fool.”</p>
<p>Emet-Selch stops, staring into the fire. “No, she never was.” The sense of profound loss overwhelms the room. “If I could show her… make her remember.”</p>
<p>“No.” Elidibus joins him in front of the fire. They are all they have, now. “Even if she could remember, in her fractured state… Whoever she was to you, she is sundered, Emet-Selch. Only rejoining can bring her back.”</p>
<p>“She mattered to you, once, too.”</p>
<p>Elidibus can offer no response. He cannot remember, and he is not sure he would want to, only to forget again. Emet-Selch, realizing the conversation is over, departs with a wave. Alone, Elidibus briefly considers if it would be so terrible to seek the Warrior of Light’s company, though that is probably exactly where Emet-Selch has just gone.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div><p>Sleeplessness is nothing new for Kaya, especially not here. She doesn’t usually wander, but she found herself a bit stir-crazy in her room. The building is both the royal residence and the government seat, which strikes her as odd, but it does give her room to roam. The halls are sparsely patrolled at night, and the few she does cross paths with rarely acknowledge her. There is a constant low hum of energy here that she has not gotten used to, and the artificial lights bother her, but this is her home now. The thought is not as depressing as it should be.</p>
<p>Several halls and doors later, she finds herself in the throne room. At this hour, the hall is empty. It is an imposing room, fitting for the Garlean Empire, but she finds herself drawn in until she stands at the foot of the steps that lead to the seat itself.</p>
<p>“A bit late for an audience with the emperor, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>She startles at the sound of Emet-Selch’s voice, spinning to face him where he stands to the side of the room. This is the first time they’ve spoken since… she blushes slightly at the memory. Clearly, she is not adept at seduction.</p>
<p>“It is quite rude to keep sneaking up on me.”</p>
<p>He shrugs as he walks toward her; her gut says run, but her body says something else entirely. “I do enjoy a dramatic entrance.”</p>
<p>He’s almost on top of her, but he turns at the last minute to ascend the steps, leaving her looking up at him. He doesn’t quite make it to the throne, instead stopping one of the upper steps. The way he stares at her like he’s trying to see through her, makes her shiver. She had meant to ask him about her conversation with Elidibus, but her words die in her throat.</p>
<p>“Why did you come here, hero?”</p>
<p>It’s her turn to shrug. “For peace. Everyone was tired of fighting. And truth be told I didn’t know how much longer we could hold off the Empire.”</p>
<p>“So you sacrificed yourself.”</p>
<p>Kaya didn’t know if it was his tone or the question that gave her pause. Had she sacrificed herself? She had given up many things to come here, but it was worth it to save lives. Wasn’t it? “I’m only one person.”</p>
<p>In the dim light and at a distance, his face is even more difficult to read. He looks… slighted, somehow. Maybe remembering something about whoever it is she’s meant to remind him of. He cuts her off with a wave as soon as she opens her mouth to ask him about that.</p>
<p>“Come here.”</p>
<p>The body wants what the body wants. Her feet are moving before she can think better of it, climbing the few steps between them and taking his hand when he extends it to pull her up to the top. When he slides his arm around her waist, she forgets everything she’s supposed to think about him, about Ascians, and she lets him take control.</p>
<p>“No interruptions this time, my dear.”</p>
<p>The first brush of his lips against hers steals her breath, and when he pulls her tighter she realizes that something about him feels like home.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Short but stay tuned it's a double update day!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A katana-wielding Centurion</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heed updated warnings:<br/>CW: Canon-typical violence, blood and injury, hints of abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No one thinks to question the katana-wielding centurion as he makes his way through the city. It has taken him too long to get here already, so it is just as well that no one gets in his way. Not that he would hesitate to cut down anyone who did. He has traveled with a singular purpose, but he is not immune to hearing rumors. A prince returned from the dead, said to be possessed by a demon. Peace with the savages secured through a royal wedding. It is said, among the Garlean troops, that the bride is none other than the Warrior of Light. He very much doubts this to be true, but he will learn for himself soon enough.</p>
<p>The presence of guards thins considerably within the palace, and there is only one outside the door to the throne room, who does nothing to stop him. Useless, all of them.</p>
<p>He makes no effort to conceal his entry or approach, and the small group gathered around the foot of the dais falls silent almost as soon as the door is open. The silence stretches to the point of discomfort as he approaches. Varis stands on the bottom step, with Solus zos Galvus beside him. Apparently, there is more than one royal family member possessed. Zenos has not turned, but the woman behind him stands in profile. Another rumor that appears to have proved true. How interesting.</p>
<p>The prince turns to face him, finally, and he draws his blade. He has waited for this moment.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Kaya was glad for her insistence on remaining armed, even within the palace. As the centurion lunged for Elidibus, she drew her gunblade and stepped into his path, bringing the edge up to crash against the assailant’s. The weighty fabric of her dress made combat difficult, but she had fought under worse conditions before. He shoved her back and it was dumb luck that she was able to remain standing long enough to bring her weapon back to ready. The centurion threw his helmet aside, revealing a rather unremarkable looking Garlean, before coming at her again.<p>Blades locked mere ilms from her face, and her arms shook with the effort of holding the guard. Their eyes met between lines of metal, and the shock that ran through her was enough to make her gasp and drop her weapon. The man’s own came slicing down, cutting through the dress and part of her arm, but the pain barely registered through her confusion.</p>
<p>“Zenos?”</p>
<p>Blood dripped from his lowered blade as he looked slowly between herself, Elidibus, Emet-Selch, and Varis.</p>
<p>“This is… certainly a surprise.”</p>
<p>For a brief, absurd moment, her only thought was of how much more complicated this little love triangle had just become. And then the pain in her arm hit her. She hissed, pressing a hand over the wound and craning her neck to try to see how much damage he had done. Fortunately the dress seemed to have taken much of it, but blood flowed heavily down her arm into the already soaked fabric.</p>
<p>“That immortality should be within reach of one with a borrowed Echo… You have outdone yourself, Zenos yae Galvus.”</p>
<p>Elidibus spoke with Zenos’s voice. It had never been particularly distressing until now, confronted with two of them. Kaya bit her tongue to hold in a hysterical giggle. She was getting a little light-headed. How much blood had she lost already?</p>
<p>“I have no particular attachment to that name, but I am rather fond of that body. Without it, I cannot enjoy my hunt to the fullest. … Your secrets or my flesh. I care not which you give me first.”</p>
<p>Centurion-Zenos had moved to step around her again. <i>Why is everything happening in slow motion?</i> Kaya followed, nearly stumbling over her dress. <i>No more dresses.</i> Her words are muddled, thick on her tongue. She’s not sure what she said. So many voices, but far away. </p>
<p>With some surprise, she realizes she’s looking at the ceiling and not standing anymore. Who picked her up? She blinks to focus, finding the face of the Garlean with Zenos’s eyes. He looks down at her with a slight frown.</p>
<p>“That was incredibly foolish, my friend.”</p>
<p>She smiles. She’s glad he isn’t dead.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>When she wakes again, she has no way of knowing how long she has been asleep. Her arm throbs dully, and her mouth feels like it’s been stuffed with cotton. She groans as she struggles to sit up, and Emet-Selch (why him?) appears at her side to help her. Had he been in here a moment ago?<p>“Water?”</p>
<p>She nods, leaning back against the pile of pillows behind her, and accepts the glass when he offers it. His face is neutral as he watches her drink, but somehow she is aware that he’s angry.</p>
<p>“Where is Zenos?” He raises an eyebrow at her. “The real one.”</p>
<p>Emet-Selch sits on the edge of the bed beside her and places his hand over hers. “I will take care of him.” The way he says it, she knows what he means. She doesn’t want any more deaths on her conscience, though. That was the whole point of this marriage, the whole reason she had even agreed. If it followed her here, what was it all for?</p>
<p>“Don’t kill him…”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>Kaya looks away, trying to hide her own vulnerability. Maybe to hide how much she finds she cares about Zenos. She can’t quite explain that to herself, let alone to him. “You… wouldn’t understand.”</p>
<p>His grips her hand, tightening to the point of pain. When she tries to pull away, he squeezes harder. “I have lived a thousand of your lifetimes, and I wouldn’t understand?” It’s a sharp reminder of who he is, *what* he is, and fear spikes within her.</p>
<p>“Please, Emet-Selch. I don’t… I don’t want any more death because of me.” She turns back to him, looking for any sign of mercy in his eyes. She doesn’t understand why her injury, which is really her fault to begin with, has upset him so much, enough that he would kill the man who dealt it. After what feels like an eternity, his expression softens.</p>
<p>“I never could deny you anything, my dear.”</p>
<p>He still hasn’t let go of her hand, though. And her instincts are warring inside her because this man is dangerous, and yet he feels so familiar.</p>
<p>“You’re hurting me…”</p>
<p>Emet-Selch lifts her hand, laying a gentle kiss on her knuckles, entirely at odds with his crushing grip, before releasing her. There is something in his gaze that she recognizes but can’t place, and as uncomfortable as it is, she can’t look away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A dream or an Echo</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As tensions mount and the three men argue about the situation, about <i>her</i>, Kaya’s mood goes from mild irritation to rage. No one has asked her how she feels, or what she wants. Varis catches her eye from across the table, one eyebrow raised. He can see it, even if his son and the Ascians are too dense.</p>
<p>“She is married to me.”</p>
<p>“She married your body, boy. And would not have done so had <i>you</i> been in it.”</p>
<p>Their voices continue to raise, and her anger with it, until she can’t stand it anymore. She kicks her chair back as she stands, wood scraping across the stone floor, and everyone falls silent to look at her.</p>
<p>“Enough. You’re talking about me as if I have no choice in this. I have half a mind to bed him just to spite you.” She gestures at Varis, giving him an apologetic look when he coughs in surprise.</p>
<p>Elidibus, now occupying the body of the Garlean centurion that Zenos arrived in, looks only mildly interested in the proceedings. Zenos, back in his rightful body, looks at her like he would devour her if given the chance. And Emet-Selch, the biggest unknown in the whole equation, looks furious. He has not elaborated any further on his attachment to her, but his jealousy is boundless.</p>
<p>“You will do no such thing.”</p>
<p>“I don’t belong to you, Emet-Selch.”</p>
<p>A snort comes from Elidibus’s direction, while Emet-Selch’s face twists into something barely resembling human. She had struck a nerve. Several, by the looks of it.</p>
<p>“I can correct that.”</p>
<p>It takes conscious effort on her part to not melt at the dangerous promise in his voice.</p>
<p>“I have had quite enough of you lot for one evening. Elidibus, please escort me to my chambers.”</p>
<p>Elidibus stands, replacing the centurion’s helmet. Outside private meetings, he poses as her bodyguard, although she is sure he’s there more to watch her than anything else. She could almost call him a confidant, with all the time they spend together. He divulges little, but he is always willing to lend an ear to her troubles. Of the three, himself, Zenos, and Emet Selch, he has the most of her affection. </p>
<p>The tense silence that follows her out of the room is satisfying.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>A soft knock draws her from quiet musing over a glass of wine. She isn’t sure where Elidibus conjures it from, but it certainly isn’t like any vintage she’s ever tasted. She glances over to the door, wondering which one of them was foolish enough to follow her.<p>“Emet-Selch.” Elidibus answers her unspoken question.</p>
<p>She scoffs, but stands and crosses to the door anyway. As soon as the door is open, he’s pushing past her into the room. His eyes pause on the opened bottle, then flick to Elidibus, like there’s some significance there that she isn’t privy to.</p>
<p>“Can I help you?”</p>
<p>“I was hoping to speak with you. Alone.”</p>
<p>Elidibus is gone before she decides whether she wants to talk to Emet-Selch or not. A fine guard he is. She crosses her arms, one eyebrow arched, waiting for him to get on with it.</p>
<p>“It… would be easier if I showed you.”</p>
<p>“Make up your mind.”</p>
<p>He shrugs with a sigh. “Must everything be an argument with you? Indulge me. Come with me. I promise to return you unharmed.” </p>
<p>When he holds out his hand, she uncrosses her arms and takes it, letting him pull her through a portal.</p>
<p>Low turquoise light bathes the landscape, and she can’t tell if it’s day or night. A city rises out of the chasm before her, immediately familiar although she knows she has never seen its like in all her travels. Her breath catches on a gasp and Emet-Selch’s grip tightens on her hand.</p>
<p>“Where—”</p>
<p>Pain grips her and she falls to her knees. The Echo, only different, stronger. The last thing she’s aware of before she passes out is the look of concern on Emet-Selch’s face.</p>
<p>
  <i>Remember...</i>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Where is she? The Scions, most of them, anyway, stand before her. She recognizes the Crystal Tower, but this is not its home.<p>“All seems well at the Crystarium,” Alphinaud says, and she wonders what the Crystarium is. Is this a dream?</p>
<p>Something makes her turn. Emet-Selch approaches their group.</p>
<p>“You certainly took your time. I had half resolved to complete the task myself.”</p>
<p>She watches, confused, as Emet-Selch reveals himself as an Ascian, shares his plans for the rejoining, and offers cooperation. Her confusion does not ease as she reunites with Ardbert in what is apparently her room here (wherever here is), although based on their conversation, this is not the first time.</p>
<p>Scenes come in flashes, and while she remains aware it is a dream, or an Echo, she feels as if it is real. Something that has happened to her, or will happen. </p>
<p>She trusts Emet-Selch too easily, and her companions can sense it. So can he. Perhaps that’s why he’s so willing to share information.</p>
<p>“No one could remember it. Not really. Just fragments and fleeting memories of an achingly familiar world…” Emet-Selch looks at her, as if she should know.</p>
<p>He tells the story of Zodiark and Hydaelyn, of the sundering of the world, and her heart breaks. She feels his loss keenly, as if it is her own. And the revelation makes her question herself. Is she being used? Is her will truly her own?</p>
<p>As the dream goes on, her doubt grows. Her friends hide things from her. She presses on, because she doesn’t seem to have control over her dream self.</p>
<p>“What a disappointment you turned out to be.”</p>
<p>Emet-Selch’s words crush her. She isn’t good enough, she should have been. She’s failed her friends, failed Norvrandt, but even more she’s failed him. All she can see is the burden, the pain he’s carried alone for so long.</p>
<p>She watches Amaurot burn, and she remembers. She remembers and she can do nothing. She can’t even tell him because she has no control in this vision.</p>
<p>“Remember us. Remember that we once lived.”</p>
<p>Her scream as he breaks apart is inhuman...</p>
<p>… she bolts upright, dripping cold sweat . Kaya has the distinct sense that she has been asleep for some time. She wraps her arms around her knees, hanging her head as sobs shake her body. She couldn’t save him. Emet-Selch, Hades, is gone.</p>
<p>A hand touches her shoulder, gently, and she looks up to see Elidibus standing over her. She throws her arms around him before she can think better of it, soaking his shirt with her tears. He stiffens under her touch, but lays a hand on her back.</p>
<p>“I tried to stop it, I did, but I killed him and now he’s gone and it’s all my fault.” The words tumble out almost without a breath.</p>
<p>“Who did you kill?”</p>
<p>She blinks up at him, suddenly aware that this is all wrong. This isn’t her dream any more. She’s back in her bedchamber in Garlemald. The Echo is usually minutes, at most. How long was she out?</p>
<p>“I dreamed… The First?” She explains what she can remember, haltingly, sure that she had been there and experienced it all, and equally sure that he would think her insane. His expression remained unreadable. “He showed me Amaurot, the final days… But I couldn’t stop it, I had to fight him. I joined with Ardbert and I… we…” Her voice breaks, unable to continue even now, knowing that it hadn’t really happened. <i>Yet.</i></p>
<p>Elidibus finally sighs. “I had advised him against showing you. A sundered being such as yourself…” She isn’t even offended by it, because she knows in her heart it is true. She is incomplete, and she aches for what she is missing.</p>
<p>“I want to see him.”</p>
<p>“Of course.”</p>
<p>The door flies open moments later and Emet-Selch is halfway across the room in the same instant. She flings herself out of the bed and into his arms, face pressed into his chest. His arms wind around her waist, holding her like he’s been doing this all his life.</p>
<p>“Hades...” She breathes his name, feels him tense in her arms, and holds him tighter. He doesn’t let go until she does, and even then they don’t take more than half a step from each other. Gloved fingers brush her jaw, gripping her chin lightly to incline her head. </p>
<p>“Do you remember, now, who you belong to?”</p>
<p>Kaya nods, her blue eyes locked on his gold ones. She doesn’t remember whatever life they had together, not specifically, but she can feel it to her very core. Her soul remembers being owned, being utterly possessed by him, and she yearns to have that again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A pressing darkness</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WE GOT DARK SMUT FRIENDS.</p>
<p>Please be advised.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaya’s world had reduced to those beautiful golden eyes looking down at her, somehow brutal and tender at the same time. Everything felt blurred at the edges, in soft focus, like being in a dream. She could almost believe she was floating away. The only thing keeping her anchored was the pressure of his hand on the back of her head.</p>
<p>“<i>This</i> is what you were made for, my dear.”</p>
<p>She hums affirmatively around his cock, absolute bliss filling her at the praise in his tone. She can’t breathe when he pushes into her throat, but what does it matter if he’s pleased with her. He holds her there until her body bucks, lungs protesting the lack of air, and she gasps desperately when he pulls out completely. Her face is wet with tears and drool, and the taste of him lingers on her lips. She can’t pull her eyes away from his.</p>
<p>
  <i>A voice inside her is screaming at her to get up, to fight, to get away from him. Everything about this is wrong, and he is dangerous. He has hurt her and he will hurt her again. But the voice can’t make her body respond, can’t draw her out of the darkness that is Emet-Selch.</i>
</p>
<p>She doesn’t know where they are, where he takes her. The room is always dark, and they never stay beyond when he’s finished with her. For all she knows it isn’t a real place at all, just somewhere in the rift between. Somewhere where he won’t be interrupted and where no one will hear the way he makes her scream. She shivers slightly and he brushes a tear away with his thumb.</p>
<p>“Do you know how long I have searched for you?” It’s a rhetorical question, but she feels as if she should apologize for having kept him waiting for so long. Instead, she leans her head into his touch. </p>
<p>“Why did you leave, my love?” His voice is softer, not talking to her at all now, and that hurts in a way she doesn’t fully understand. She starts to make a sound, wanting to say something to comfort him, but he pulls his hand away before she can, and then the moment is over. She licks her lips as she looks up at him, not bothering to hide the raw need that she feels.</p>
<p>“You are insatiable.”</p>
<p>Hades circles around behind her. It doesn’t take any prompting for her to rise up on her knees and bend forward until her face and chest rest on the floor. She’s already dripping for him, knows he will see it, but somehow that turns her on more.</p>
<p>“Are you truly so desperate for me, dear hero?” She can hear the smirk in his voice, mocking, but she nods. “Very well then.”</p>
<p>He uses her body to chase his own pleasure, heedless of hers though she finds herself driven to climax again and again regardless. The relentless, brutal snap of his hips has her scrabbling for purchase on the hard floor but scraping against it all the same. When she crosses that threshold a final time he withdraws from her, leaving her inner walls fluttering around nothing, ruining her orgasm. He doesn’t even notice, or if he does he doesn’t care. He grips her side hard enough that his fingers dig new bruises into her skin and spends himself on her lower back with a low groan.</p>
<p>This is how it usually is, with him. Rough and urgent and demanding. Hades takes, but she gives willingly. He leans over her, brushing a soft kiss at the nape of her neck. He lingers like that for a moment, his breath coming in short huffs, and she savors the feeling of having satisfied him. She doesn’t move when he straightens up, or even when she hears the soft rustle of fabric that tells her he’s dressed. She stays exactly as he’s left her until he crouches before her, reaching out with a gloved hand to lift her head.</p>
<p>“Come on my dear, it’s time to go.”</p>
<p>She’s shivering as he pulls her through a portal back into her room. He kisses the top of her head lightly and then he’s gone, leaving her to clean herself up and ride out the feeling of emptiness, alone.</p>
<p>
  <i>He is breaking her down, and she has not yet realized.</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A first time</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zenos feels like the odd man out here, which leaves him with frustrated energy that he is unable to expend. There is no hunt to pursue, no savage lands to conquer. Even his friend seems more interested in playing house with the Ascians than she does in combat. All of this compounds to leave him pacing like a caged beast whenever his father hasn’t demanded his attention on some trivial matter.</p>
<p><i>His wife</i>. It’s a joke. And he can tell His Radiance derives pleasure from having his son so well controlled, for once.</p>
<p>The wooden training dummy cracks under the force of his swing. He’s destroyed quite a number of these in the past few days, and none of it brings him satisfaction.</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>He spins to face the door of the training yard, fully prepared to throw his sword at whoever dared open it, and freezes as he takes in the sight of her. Her eyes are wide as they flick between him and the splintered wood, though it’s surprise and not fear.  </p>
<p>The black thermal gear she wears hugs every curve on her small frame, and he catches himself imagining her without it as they stare each other down. She looks good, better than good, actually, though he would prefer to be seeing her on a battlefield. He knows she has been training out here as well, but he suspects she’s been avoiding times when she knows he will be here.</p>
<p>“I can come back later.” She starts to turn back through the doorway.</p>
<p>“Wait, please.”</p>
<p>She steps fully outside, slinging the blunted training blade across her shoulder and cocking one hip out. Her half-smile sets a heat of an entirely different kind spreading through him. “You need a partner?”</p>
<p>Zenos shrugs. “If you’ve nothing better to do, I suppose I could make time for you.”</p>
<p>Since the first time she appeared out of the flames and smoke, he had known she was the only one who would ever be worthy of him. Sparring will not truly satisfy either of them, but he will take it to feel even a fraction of that transcendent joy. She grins and it lights up her whole face, and he knows he is lost to her.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Kaya is exhausted, with more than a few new bruises, but so is Zenos. And he’s down on one knee with the blunt edge of her gunblade at his neck. She doesn’t think either one of them has stopped smiling the entire time they’ve been at it, and she wonders why she avoided him for so long.<p>“You want to go again?” She’s panting for breath and knows she doesn’t have much left, but she’ll be damned if she backs down before he does. Finally, he shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Oh thank the Twelve, I don’t think I could have gone another round.” She drops her weapon and bends forward, planting her hands on her knees as she tries to catch her breath. Eventually, she realizes that he’s still on his knee, looking at her with an expression that makes a blush rise to her cheeks. What is it with them all looking at her so intensely? She straightens up and holds a hand out to him to help him up. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat.” </p>
<p>Zenos retrieves both weapons from the ground and follows behind her.</p>
<p>Kaya can feel his eyes on her every step of the way to the kitchens, and then beyond that to her rooms, the sensation growing more and more distracting with each step. She’s hardly set the tray on the table before he’s grabbing her, lifting her against him to crush his lips against hers. And she kisses him back for a moment before she realizes what she’s doing.</p>
<p>“Zenos, stop!”</p>
<p>To her surprise, he sets her down immediately and takes several steps back.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I should have asked…”</p>
<p>Kaya’s head is spinning, partially from kissing him and partially from shock at his reaction. What was that, any of that? She presses one hand to her lips as she takes a deep breath to steady herself.</p>
<p>“No it’s…” She shakes her head. “I just wasn’t expecting that, that’s all.” She waves a hand towards the table, uncomfortably aware of her physical reaction to him. “Let’s um… let’s eat and then we can talk about it. Okay?”</p>
<p>Zenos nods but waits for her to sit before he moves to do the same. Both of them are lost in thought as they eat, until there’s a knock at the door. A pit forms in her stomach like she’s been caught doing something and she stares at the door for a long moment, until there’s another knock. </p>
<p>Kaya pushes away from the table, her legs leaden as she crosses the room to pull the door open. She opens it fully, already knowing Hades is on the other side.</p>
<p>“Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were entertaining.”</p>
<p>Like hells he didn’t; if he truly hadn’t known, he would have simply appeared in her room as he usually did.</p>
<p>“Emet-Selch,” she uses his title, as she does around everyone other than Elidibus, “you are welcome to join us. Have you eaten or should I send for more food?”</p>
<p>“I would not dream of interrupting your time with your husband. Enjoy, my dear.” He doesn’t look angry, or even jealous. Was he just interrupting to make a point? Her brows furrow in confusion as she watches him walk away with a wave over his shoulder. </p>
<p>If anything, that felt like permission.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>The way Zenos touches her borders on reverent, running his fingers over every scar, every bruise, like he’s trying to memorize her. His lips find hers again, surprisingly gentle until she nips at his lower lip. That draws a low groan from him, his hand moving to cradle the back of her head and pull her closer. They’re both breathing harder when he pulls away.<p>“Have you… with my body, I mean.”</p>
<p>Kaya bites her lower lip and shakes her head. “It seemed wrong.”</p>
<p>He seems satisfied by that answer, shifting to kiss his way down her body. His lips brush her neck, her collarbone, the top of her breast. She arches into him when his mouth closes over the peak, tongue circling her bud slowly while his fingers roll its twin. Then he’s kissing down her ribs, her stomach, her inner thighs. She can feel his breath hot across her slit, drawing attention to the slick that’s already gathered at her entrance. Zenos traces just the tip of his tongue over her folds and she shivers.</p>
<p>“Please…”</p>
<p>He grabs her leg, bringing her thigh to rest on his shoulder. She buries her fingers in his hair as he parts her, his mouth working her slowly, as though he has all the time in the world to savor this. His arm around her leg holds her still and her soft moans go unanswered. Her release builds gradually, and when she finally comes apart it’s a wave rolling through her, leaving her quivering under him and needy for more.</p>
<p>Zenos kneels between her legs, sliding two fingers into her easily, and she can hear how wet she is. His touch is gentle but insistent, spreading his fingers inside her, stretching her. She wants more to satisfy the deep aching need forming in the pit of her stomach and she rocks her hips against his hand. At the press of a third digit, she tenses involuntarily and he pauses.</p>
<p>“Tell me if I’m hurting you.” He’s soft, patient, nothing she would have anticipated from him.</p>
<p>Kaya shakes her head; she wants this, wants him. “Keep going, please.”</p>
<p>He does, but his eyes never leave her face; it makes her blush intensely and she wants to bury her face in the pillows. Long fingers circle and press within her, finding all her most sensitive areas. He brings her to the edge like that, but slides his fingers out of her when she’s close. She shivers, quickly approaching desperate to have him inside her, but so entranced watching him watch her that she’s hesitant to interrupt him.</p>
<p>“Zenos…”</p>
<p>He works his way back up her body, leaving a wet trail of kisses and soft bites in his wake.</p>
<p>“I may have lost my hunt, but I gained something better. You were made to be worshipped, my friend, and I fully intend to.”</p>
<p>His words steal her breath and all she can do is nod.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A little light after the last chapter's dark</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Amaurot: Take 2</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elidibus sat opposite Kaya at the table in her room, their usual bottle of wine and two glasses between them, along with a stack of cards.</p>
<p>“What is that?”</p>
<p>“It’s a card game, obviously.” Elidibus makes a sound somewhere between a scoff and a laugh and she smiles.  “It’s called Triple Triad. I’m perfectly terrible at it but it seems better than sitting here doing nothing while I get drunk and complain about my boy problems.”</p>
<p>“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow. “You don’t intend to get drunk and complain tonight?”</p>
<p>“Of course I’m going to do those things, just over a game of cards that I’m going to do a very bad job of teaching you.”</p>
<p>She shuffles and divides her own deck. It would be easier with a second, but she’d had no luck finding cards in Garlemald and no one seemed inclined to accompany her to the Gold Saucer. In fact, she hasn’t left at all since coming here in the first place.</p>
<p>Even with her poor teaching, Elidibus is a quick study. The bottle of wine never seems to empty no matter how much they drink, though after laughing over the game she almost forgot she had things to complain about.</p>
<p>“So,” she slurs, but only slightly, “what was the grand Ascian scheme this time? Kill the Warrior of Light? I must say you’ve done a poor job of it.”</p>
<p>He sighs, setting his cards down in favor of his wine glass. Though he usually matched her drink for drink, Elidibus had never been drunk around her that she could tell; she imagined if she were his age her alcohol tolerance would be pretty good too.</p>
<p>“There was not one. Or rather, it was not an Ascian scheme. This was all Varis, I just happened to be occupying his son’s body.”</p>
<p>“And Hades?”</p>
<p>“The Garlean Empire is his, after all.”</p>
<p>Kaya falls quiet for a while, considering everything she’s learned and experienced. Being the Warrior of Light had long felt like a burden, and she wonders how much of her acceptance of the marriage proposal was because she wanted to escape that. The things she had seen and felt in her Echo, or her dream, of the First, hadn’t helped matters. Neither had the few scant memories, more feelings than actual memories, she had recovered from what Hades believed was her past life. Or her soul’s past life.</p>
<p>“The Echo, or whatever it was I had…” She starts and then trails off, not sure where to even begin the questions she has. “I know you don’t remember, but… I just want to understand.”</p>
<p>Elidibus reaches across the table to refill her glass. “Emet-Selch would be better able to answer your questions. But start with what you know and I will answer what I can.”</p>
<p>“Something happened, when the world was whole. I don’t really remember much, but I remember Amaurot burning. They summoned Zodiark to save the world, and then Hydaelyn to stop Zodiark. So they’re primals, or something like that.” She spins her glass in her fingers, lost in feelings that she doesn’t understand. “But Hydaelyn destroyed the world anyway, right? Sundered it?”</p>
<p>Elidibus nods. “Some few of us remained unsundered. Myself, Emet-Selch, Lahabrea. There were more, once, but I do not remember them as they were.”</p>
<p>She cringes at the mention of the last. Gone, now, because of her. She hadn’t known, but she doubts that is any consolation to him.</p>
<p>“And the rejoining will restore the world to how it was… but what about all those who live on the shards now? All those that have been or would be killed in the calamities?”</p>
<p>“You are incomplete beings. Through the rejoining, once shattered souls could be made whole again.” His voice is quiet, as though he feels the weight of his chosen course.</p>
<p>She’s torn, because she knows that he’s right, but she can’t say that the ends would justify the means. Then again, she can understand being willing to make sacrifices for the greater good. Her stomach turns as she considers the lives she’s taken. The victims of the primals...</p>
<p>“If Hydaelyn is a primal... am I tempered?”</p>
<p>“Not in the way you think of it, no. You bear her blessing, the blessing of light,” the way he says it, she can tell he considers it anything but, “and you are susceptible to her influence. But you have free will. You could turn from her, if you so desired.”</p>
<p>It almost sounds like he’s suggesting… Before she can react to or even fully process what he’s said, they’re interrupted by Hades entering the room. He glances between them, taking in her obvious emotional distress and Elidibus’s composure with a slight smirk.</p>
<p>“If I were a jealous man, my dear, I might start to worry that you prefer our Emissary’s company over mine.”</p>
<p>Elidibus responds before she can, not surprising given the effect Hades usually has on her. “Kaya had questions about our past.”</p>
<p>He looks at her thoughtfully, with that gaze that always makes her feel like he can read her mind, and then holds out his hand toward her. She stands and takes it without hesitation, letting him pull her against his side until his arm wraps around her. The internal alarms are immediate, but are quickly overwhelmed by the comfort she feels in his presence. Her distress melts away as if his touch pulls it out of her.</p>
<p>“I propose a change of venue. You too, Elidibus.”</p>
<p>Kaya shudders as the three of them step through a portal and onto the cliff overlooking Amaurot, and for the first time she wonders if it’s a reaction to the darkness. She braces herself, expecting to be hit with another Echo, but this time she’s only overwhelmed by a sense of homesickness. Elidibus sucks in a breath, the most animated reaction she thinks she’s seen from him.</p>
<p>“Emet-Selch, you--”</p>
<p>“It is an incomplete recreation, but yes, I did.”</p>
<p>They take a massive elevator down to the ground level of the giant city and she finds herself nearly breathless as she takes it all in. None of them speak, but as she walks between them she realizes she can feel pain radiating off of Elidibus in waves, so much that it brings tears to her eyes. The intensity of the feeling makes her stop in her tracks, pulling away from Hades to turn and embrace Elidibus. He freezes and she can feel Hades watching them.</p>
<p>“I’ve seen enough.” Elidibus pulls her arms from around him and then turns away, disappearing back through a portal before she can say anything.</p>
<p>“He does not do well with feelings. Come on.” He starts walking without waiting for her and after a moment of hesitation she rushes to catch up. “What do you remember?”</p>
<p>“I remember this,” she gestures around them at the towering buildings, “burning. I was there. Everything else is just feelings. You, or the you I dreamed, told me about summoning Zodiark and Hydaelyn. The sacrifice to save everything, only to have Hydaelyn destroy it anyway…”</p>
<p>She’s been here, or not here exactly, but the real one. It’s like trying to recall a memory of a dream. He keeps moving, down paths and around corners and up and down stairs, like he’s waiting for her to catch up or recognize and latch on to something. She can feel it, the sense of familiarity, of rightness, but there’s nothing really there. She stops, caught in a spiral of guilt and desperation.</p>
<p>“Hades, please!” He finally stops and turns back to her. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to remember. It’s there, I can feel it, but I can’t remember.”</p>
<p>His disappointment is tangible and it crushes her. The steps he takes to get back to her are measured, every footfall almost making her flinch. It’s oddly silent here, and every strike echoes.</p>
<p>“You poor, broken thing. You’re trying so hard, but it just isn’t good enough, is it?”</p>
<p>Kaya wilts under his gaze, wishing for nothing more than to just disappear rather than face him. She doesn’t even really understand why she feels guilty for not remembering. It’s hardly her fault that she has no memory of a life that wasn’t really hers to begin with. And yet the feeling persists.</p>
<p>“Take me back,” she whispers, turning away from him to hide her tears.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A patient teacher</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Snow falls, swirling around her in little flurries as she moves through exercises. Little clouds form in front of her face with every breath, but Zenos can see the beads of sweat that trickle down the line of her throat. She’s gotten quite good with a katana in the past weeks that she’s been training with him, and he enjoys the excuse to spend time with her. He knows Emet-Selch is jealous of her time and her affections, and while Zenos does not particularly care for sharing her with his great-grandfather it’s either that or lose her altogether. Her form is dropping. Almost imperceptibly, but he knows her body well.</p>
<p>“That’s enough for today, Kaya.”</p>
<p>She would push herself to the point of collapsing if left to her own devices. She crosses the yard and he dusts snow off the bench beside him. They sit in comfortable silence while her breathing slows. He wants more time with her, wishes he could have her to himself, but he knows that if he pushed her, she would withdraw.</p>
<p>“Zenos,” his name on her lips makes him want to close his eyes, lose himself in her voice, “I need a favor.”</p>
<p>“Anything.” He means it.</p>
<p>“I need to learn to control the Echo. Before… you told me you could.”</p>
<p>Zenos looks over at her, eyes narrowed slightly. At the time, he had been referring to using the Echo to control Eikons. He doubts that’s the application she’s looking for now, and he can’t help but wonder what she’s after. He isn’t even really sure it’s something he can teach.</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>She chews her lower lip for a moment, in the way she does when she’s trying to find the right thing to say. “I can see memories. Usually a person’s, sometimes related to a place, but I can’t control when it happens or what I see, and I want to be able to.”</p>
<p>This has Ascian written all over it, and not for the first time he questions the sway that Emet-Selch seems to have over her. It is rare that he sees them together, but when he does he can see how she changes. She doesn’t quite cower in his presence, but Zenos can see the signs even if no one else notices, or no one else cares. He hates feeling helpless to do anything to stop it.</p>
<p>“Are you asking for him, or for you?” She flinches at his sharp tone and it pains him that she would react like that to him.</p>
<p>“If you can’t or don’t want to, you can just say that, you know.”</p>
<p>“What I have is very different, truthfully I do not know that I can teach you to control yours. But I will try for you.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Zenos.” She leans against his side affectionately, and the ache in his chest deepens. If he could steal her away from all of this he would do it, but he doesn’t even know if she would welcome that or hate him for it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Kaya isn’t sure how long she’s been sitting on the floor with her eyes closed. She isn’t even sure what she’s supposed to be feeling, but she feels like an idiot. She cracks one eye to look at Zenos, who looks like a statue sitting opposite her.<p>“If you do not take this seriously, I will not continue helping you.”</p>
<p>She sighs and closes her eyes again. He didn’t even open his eyes, how did he know she had?</p>
<p>“Focus on how the Echo feels. And stop thinking.”</p>
<p>They had been at this every day for a week with no progress. Not even so much as a hear feel think from Hydaelyn. Zenos almost seemed to be meditating, but she couldn’t focus like he did. As with everything, he seemed to have infinite patience for this.</p>
<p>She breathed deeply, trying to do as he suggested and feel the Echo. It was always a sharp feeling behind her eyes, not quite painful but not comfortable either, her vision would blur and white noise would drown out all sound. She focused on that white noise, let herself imagine it until it drowned out the low hum of energy, her breathing, even her heartbeat.</p>
<p>White light burned behind her eyelids and she was vaguely aware of the feeling that usually accompanied it.</p>
<p>
  <i>Rhalgr’s Reach burned before her. She could not feel the heat or smell the smoke, but this was a scene she knew well. Zenos, Fordola, Lyse… Y’shtola. She had not realized how close she had come to losing her friends that day.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“You will entertain me, will you not?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i></i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>It was strange to watch herself fight. She had not forgotten the shame of that defeat, but what her memory had glossed over was just how terrifying Zenos had been then. How thoroughly he’d beaten her, and how he’d chosen not to kill her even though he certainly could have.</i>
</p>
<p>Kaya took a gasping breath as she came to, still seated on the floor in front of Zenos. She’d actually done it. His eyes were open now, watching her.</p>
<p>“I can’t believe that worked!” She launches herself at him, nearly knocking him over as she wraps her arms around his neck to kiss him. A strange reaction, given the scene she’d just relived, but she’s too excited to care. If she could control it, maybe she could remember.</p>
<p>“You need to keep working to master it, but far be it from me to turn down your kisses.”</p>
<p>She kissed him again. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>She couldn’t find the words to tell him what he meant to her. How he felt like a sanctuary in this place where she was lonely more often than not. They got so little time together, but he never pushed her for more than she was able to give. She knew he knew about her and Hades, how could he not, but he seemed to accept things as they were.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re here.”</p>
<p>He tightened his arms around her. “As am I.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A different strategy</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Emet-Selch can feel her approach almost the moment she turns down the hallway that leads to the rooms Elidibus occupies. From the way he watches the door expectantly, he can sense her too. Ever since their trip to Amaurot, the pair of them have grown closer, too close for his comfort. He tolerates her relationship with Zenos, because at least that seems to serve the purpose of keeping the beast in check, but he will have to say something to Elidibus. She knocks, but the door is opening before Elidibus even manages a “come in.”</p><p>For one fleeting, aching moment, it’s her again, unsundered and the way she was meant to be. Bursting into his office, grinning from ear to ear with her hood pushed back, hair wild and cheeks flushed. So excited to show him some trivial thing she had brought. A creature or a flower or those damned grapes. But the moment passes and he’s left with a shadow of her soul and a hole in his chest where his heart should be.</p><p>“Oh good, you’re both here. That saves me some time.” She flops onto the seat beside him, still grinning. </p><p>“I wanted to show you... well I guess I can’t really show you. Anyway, I’ve been practicing and I think I can control my Echo now. It’s not perfect and I don’t really have much control over what I see, but I thought it might help if we could go back to…” She trails off, finally seeming to register the tension that has overwhelmed the room.</p><p>“What do you mean, you can control it?” Elidibus speaks first, calmly. Emet-Selch is a storm of conflicting emotions and now that she’s noticed she visibly shrinks.</p><p>“Sort of. It used to just hit me, but now if I focus I can start it on my own.”</p><p>“Anything else?” Elidibus is perfectly neutral, as ever, but Emet-Selch can see the uncertainty that plagues him. That control of it should be within her reach… It’s an unexpected and somewhat concerning development.</p><p>She shakes her head. “I don’t know. Not that I’ve figured out. I wouldn’t even know where to start.”</p><p>There is a long silence in the room, full of questions unasked and unanswered, during which Emet-Selch becomes uncomfortably aware of Elidibus studying him. Kaya is staring at him as well, but she watches him the way she does when she knows she’s displeased with her. He wishes she wouldn’t look at him like that, like she’s terrified of him. She never feared him when she was whole. She belonged to him, yes, but was still his equal in so many ways.</p><p>Finally, Elidibus speaks again.</p><p>“Thank you for telling us, Kaya. I would ask that until we better understand your Echo that you refrain from attempting to use it on either Emet-Selch or myself.”</p><p>“Oh. Of course.” She stood up, understanding just from Elidibus’s tone that she was being dismissed. Where she had been vibrant, nearly glowing, when she entered, her soul is dulled when she crosses the room to leave. She looks back at him, but he waves his hand without even really looking at her and she leaves without another word.</p><p>No, he decides, he does not care for this at all. Emet-Selch rises to pace the floor. He does not like the way she cares for Elidibus, or Zenos. He especially does not like that she looks at him differently than she does them. As an Ascian, he certainly does not care for the Warrior of Light’s Echo getting stronger, even if he has noticed less of the light around her lately.</p><p>“Have you considered being nice to her?” Elidibus doesn’t even look up from the book he’s reading to address him.</p><p>“Are we not going to discuss that the Warrior of Light is getting stronger?”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I thought you were brooding.” </p><p>Emet-Selch’s temper flares briefly, but then he drops back onto the couch.</p><p>“The Echo does not come from Hydaelyn. She’s seeking answers--”</p><p>“She never asks.”</p><p>“-- and perhaps if you showed her some measure of kindness, she would seek them from you directly.”</p><p>Emet-Selch sighs in frustration. He has spent a lifetime - several, in fact - with the fractured souls of this shard. He knows them, their hopes and dreams and fears, and knows that kindness does not work on them. They are motivated by fear and greed; he has raised empires on those drives alone. He is not one to admit his own shortcomings, but perhaps he had been too quick to assume her soul would remember through proximity alone.</p><p>“Oh, alright. I shall try being nice.”</p><p>———</p><p>Kaya is often alone in her rooms. She should be used to this by now. How long has it been? Several moons at least. It is hard to measure time accurately when she has nothing to break up the endless march of the days. Sometimes she wonders why none of her friends have tried to visit, but then she remembers that she hasn’t tried to see them, either. If she wanted to go, would she be able to? It is a long way from here to anything familiar.</p><p>She sits on the floor in front of the fireplace with a book open in her lap, but she hasn’t read a word of it. She’s too wrapped up in Elidibus and Hades’ reaction to learning about her growing control of her Echo. She had thought, hoped, it would help. But Elidibus had been neutral and Hades had seemed upset. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything.</p><p>A knock at the door interrupts her thinking. Elidibus or Zenos, most likely. Maybe a servant, though they rarely address her directly. Hades does not knock.</p><p>“Come in.”</p><p>Except, apparently, when he does.</p><p>“Why are you sitting on the floor?”</p><p>“It’s warmer here.”</p><p>He’s closed the door behind him, but still lingers by it as if he’s unsure of what he’s doing here. The thought almost makes her laugh.</p><p>“You’re welcome to join me.”</p><p>She knows he won’t. He does not spend time with her here, where they could be interrupted. He’ll hold his hand out and she’ll go to him so that he can pull her to that dark place that exists solely for them. The idea sends little sparks down her spine, nearly making her shiver.</p><p>“I’m sorry if I have been less than patient with you, but you must understand…”</p><p>Kaya blinks in surprise. An apology, even one that sounds forced, is unexpected. “It’s fine, I understand.” Even though she doesn’t.</p><p>The surprises continue when he comes over to sit on the floor beside her.</p><p>“What are you reading?”</p><p>“Oh, um.” She closes the book, not actually sure what it is. She had just picked something off the shelf at random. “I wasn’t really reading.”</p><p>“Just needed something to do with your hands.” It’s a statement, not a question. Like it’s a habit of hers he’s already familiar with. Did the old her, the one he knew, do the same thing? “I can take you back to the recreation, if you would like.”</p><p>She does want to go back, but she’s worried it will go badly, like the first two times. “Elidibus said not to use my Echo, though. I don’t want to do something wrong.”</p><p>In truth, she’s scared of what will happen. If she does remember, or if she doesn’t. There is no good move to be made here. She came here to secure peace for the realm, but more and more she’s questioning if that was the right thing to do. She’s subjected herself to Ascian influence, and more dangerously, she thinks she understands them now.</p><p>“I do want to see it again, I just… I’m afraid of disappointing you.”</p><p>The corner of his mouth turns up in a half-smile. “You’ll find I can be patient, when it suits me.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A homecoming</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Some sexual content at the end of the chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The feeling of familiarity is the same, as is the crushing guilt. Kaya isn’t sure if the guilt is from not being able to remember, from her vision of having killed him here, or from memories of the real Amaurot. Hades does not offer information to clear that up. Rather than bringing her to the cliffs as he had done previously, he teleported them into the city directly. He walks with her this time, her hand in his, but letting her lead. She hasn’t quite worked up the courage to enter any of the buildings, unsure what she will find or experience if she does.</p><p>“Tell me about your vision the first time I tried to bring you here.”</p><p>“It was bits and pieces, but I can tell you what I remember.” She does, watching his face as she tells the story as she experienced it, but he doesn’t have any reaction that she can discern. Not even when she talks about their final confrontation. She becomes more aware of the gaps as she talks, wondering how they came to be in Amaurot from Mt. Gulg, and what might have happened before they fought through the recreation of the final days.</p><p>“And your Echo has never shown you something like that before?”</p><p>Kaya shakes her head. “I see others’ memories. That was like seeing the future, or a future that might have been.”</p><p>Something clicks into place in her mind and she stops suddenly, tugging Hades back to face her. “This was home, and I left… I left you. That’s why I feel guilty.”</p><p>He closes his eyes and the muscles of his jaw twitch, he’s holding back his feelings. “You did. You abandoned me, our friends, our home, left us all to our fates. And then you were gone, shattered to pieces with everyone else.”</p><p>
  <i>He is lying to her, or lying by omission. That is not how it happened. But she does not remember and so she cannot question it.</i>
</p><p>“I’m sorry, Hades.”</p><p>“Oh, my dear, I know you are.” He pulls her against him and kisses the top of her head. “If you had only listened, trusted me, so much pain could have been avoided.”</p><p>As he runs a hand over her hair, she realizes there are tears streaking down her cheeks. She can trust him now, can’t she? He’s trying to help her remember, to understand.</p><p>“I was not intending to upset you, my dear. Come, let me show you more pleasant things.” </p><p>Hades gently separates himself from her, taking her hand again to lead her through the city. He clearly has a destination in mind, but takes his time to let her look at everything. When he turns to take the steps up to the doors of one building, a flicker of recognition hits her.</p><p>“I… we lived here. You, me, Hyth—” her tongue trips over the name, one she feels she knows but does not know, “Hythlodaeus.”</p><p>“Yes.” She’s remembered something on her own and she can tell he’s at least pleased by that, if not happy. Maybe he’s never been happy. She doesn’t blame him, not after the way he lost everything. But then they’re through the building and standing in the doorway to an apartment, and she knows that they were happy here, once.</p><p>The room has been scaled down from the rest of the recreation, and she wonders if that’s for her benefit or for his. She has the same flicker of recognition, but it’s not a particular sight or object that sparks it. The room smells like home, the immediately familiar scent that would be impossible to name but only belongs to one’s own home. She crosses to a sitting area, two couches at an angle, facing the windows on one side and a sloppily organized bookshelf on the other. A low table in the middle holds a collection of papers and crystals and she wants to scold Hyth for leaving his work out, but she knows he isn’t here.</p><p>Hades comes up behind to wrap his arms around her and she leans back into him. “Tell me how you’re feeling.”</p><p>“Overwhelmed, honestly.” His chuckle rumbles against her back and she closes her eyes. “Homesick. Sad… but also happy.”</p><p>“When the world was whole and we were together, we were happy. The Convocation served as a guide to the star, fourteen seats in all, each with a different role. Emet-Selch, the Architect, Elidibus, the Emissary. Lahabrea, Nabriales… Others you do not yet remember. And you, Azem, the Traveler.”</p><p>He holds her tighter, his presence wrapping around her comfortingly.</p><p>“My wanderer, always off on some adventure or another even before you joined the Convocation. I should not be surprised to find you trying to save the world. But you always return to me.”</p><p>There is more that he’s left unsaid. She always returned, until one day she didn’t. She knows that from what little he’s told her so far, although she doesn’t remember why she left or why she didn’t come back.</p><p>“You are mine, my love, just as I am yours. You needn’t fear me as you do.”</p><p>With a snap her clothing vanishes, leaving her bare in his arms and her breath catching in her throat. Hades turns her to face him, his hands coming up to cup her face and kiss her softly.</p><p>
  <i>She should have expected this. His truth does not come without a price. She should turn away. She has every reason to fear him.</i>
</p><p>Kaya reaches for him tentatively, her hands gripping in the soft fabric of his shirt as she leans up to kiss him back. He can be gentle, she knows he can, but if she’s honest, she enjoys it when he isn’t. As if reading her mind, he pulls her tighter against him until she can feel the press of his arousal against her. She moans quietly, rocking her hips against him to get the barest amount of friction, but she wants more.</p><p>“Please, Hades…”</p><p>He presses her back, her steps fumbling as she tries to find the edge of the couch without breaking away from him. She falls into it and pulls him down with her, her hands working at the closure of his pants. He could easily snap his clothing away as he did hers, but there is something intimate about undressing him that she enjoys, and he must, too. Her fingers find the hem of his shirt and slip under to trail over bare skin until she reaches his shoulders and can push it off. His pants are quickly pushed aside, both too hurried to bother removing them entirely, and he presses her knee to her chest as he enters her.</p><p>“Always so eager to have me inside you, my dear. But I never could deny you.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>
  <a>yeet</a>
</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ardors and Ascensions</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Elidibus, my friend, are you cheating?” Kaya smirks at him over her own cards and then covers a laugh as he practically bristles at the accusation.</p>
<p>“I never cheat. It is not my fault you are terrible at this game.”</p>
<p>“I would like you both to know that you’re making it very difficult to nap.” Hades is stretched out on the couch with his eyes closed, but she doubts he’s actually trying to nap. While it does seem to be his favorite pastime, if he wanted quiet he would go to Amaurot, or into the rift, or wherever it is he goes when he isn’t following her.</p>
<p>“You could always join us, you know.”</p>
<p>“I think not.”</p>
<p>She loses another hand, of course, and then they give up on the game in favor of idle discussion. What he’s read recently, the latest court gossip in Garlemald, the odd bits of news from elsewhere in the world. The outside news is much the same as it always has been. Beast tribes summoning primals, unsuspecting adventurers getting roped in to defeating them. With the war averted, Eorzea is quiet. It doesn’t even cross her mind to wonder how the Scions are faring.</p>
<p>“Can I ask more about you? The Ascians, I mean, not you specifically. I know your memories aren’t…” She trails off, frowning. She’s had a bit too much wine.</p>
<p>“You may.” Elidibus, graciously, does not mention it.</p>
<p>“Three of you were left unsundered, but I know I have encountered more than three of you.”</p>
<p>“Yes. As you know, souls persist. The souls who once formed the Convocation members, Nabriales, Igeyorhm, the others, were divided among the reflections. When they are found, it is possible to raise the fragmented souls to their station so that they may resume their duties.”</p>
<p>“Duties?”</p>
<p>“Ardors require significant planning and coordination between the shards and the Source.”</p>
<p>Hades makes a noise from the couch and she hides a grimace behind sipping her wine. Calamities. Worlds destroyed so they can restore theirs. She has not reconciled her sympathy for the Ascians with her desire to protect the lives of those in this world.</p>
<p>“How do you… you know.” She gestures vaguely, not even sure what to call whatever it is they do. Elidibus chuckles.</p>
<p>“Ardors, or ascend a soul?”</p>
<p>She thinks she’s vaguely familiar with how the rejoinings work, though she is probably wrong. “Ascend someone.”</p>
<p>He glances over her shoulder at Hades, as if looking for confirmation or maybe permission. Why Elidibus would need his permission for anything is beyond her. She had always assumed Elidibus was in charge of the Ascians. But maybe it’s because it’s her he’s speaking to.</p>
<p>“Each office has a crystal, created from the memories of the one who held the title at the time. It is not possible to make sundered beings whole again, but they can be used to restore the soul, return their memories, much of the power they once possessed.”</p>
<p>This, at least, is something she understands. It sounds like the soul crystals she has been given in the past.</p>
<p>“Do… does the person need to be willing?”</p>
<p>“It would be foolish to ascend someone who did not support our cause.”</p>
<p>
  <i>She should not even consider this. It is wrong. Allowing the calamities to continue, allowing the Ascians to succeed, aiding them… This is counter to everything she should believe as the Warrior of Light, as Hydaelyn’s champion.</i>
</p>
<p>“Could I—”</p>
<p>“No.” Hades cuts her off suddenly. She opens her mouth to say something else, but he raises his voice. “I said no.”</p>
<p>The aether crackles behind her as Hades opens a portal. Elidibus, at least, has the decency to look apologetic as they both leave. Alone, again. With more questions and more doubts than ever.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>“You tell her far too much.”<p>Emet-Selch is seething as he paces. Elidibus feels annoyance rising in response. He does not understand his own feelings towards Kaya, but he can see that she at least tries to understand their plight. Emet-Selch, for whatever reason, either refuses to acknowledge it or is in denial.</p>
<p>“I am the Emissary. It is my duty to guide, and if she is willing to learn then who am I to deny her?”</p>
<p>“She is still the Warrior of Light, Elidibus.”</p>
<p>“Have you so thoroughly blinded yourself that you cannot see her doubt?” Freed of the Scions and their mission, she has all but abandoned her previous ideas of good and evil. He has no doubt that if Emet-Selch asked something of her, she would do it with no hesitation. She is utterly devoted to him for reasons Elidibus cannot begin to understand, but Emet-Selch does not want to be open with her.</p>
<p>“Azem left the Convocation. Even if we wanted to, she has no crystal.”</p>
<p>“Do you think me a fool, Emet-Selch?”</p>
<p>It has been a long time since he had to take this tone with the Architect. Emet-Selch stops pacing suddenly, his back to Elidibus. Even in the darkness, he can see the tension in the other man’s body. Emet-Selch does not readily admit his own sentimentality, and Elidibus does not remember how he knows, but he has been aware for a long time that Emet-Selch kept Azem’s memories, or his memories of her, since she would not have been around to create her own.</p>
<p>“Elidibus, I—”</p>
<p>“Lie to her, lie to yourself if you must. But do not lie to me, not after all this time.”</p>
<p>When Emet-Selch turns to face him, Elidibus can just see the faint orange glow in his palm.</p>
<p>“She isn’t ready,” he says, quietly.</p>
<p>“She isn’t, or you aren’t?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Throwing more fuel on the dumpster fire.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Chapter 15</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A fight</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaya doesn’t remember how this argument started. Either Emet-Selch or Elidibus or any of the other hundred things Zenos has taken issue with lately. They were both spoiling for a fight and whatever the reason, they finally snapped. He stalks towards her, fists clenched at his sides. He is not armed, but she knows he doesn’t need weapons to be deadly.</p><p>“The Ascian has no right—”</p><p>She slaps him hard enough that his lip splits from the impact, blood welling up and staining his mouth. She takes a step back as he wipes the blood away with the back of his hand, fear coiling around her spine. It has been so, so long since she’s seen that dangerous glint in his eyes. Zenos lunges for her, looking every bit like he intends to hurt her, but before she can move to defend herself he is stopped short, lifted off the ground by dark aether wrapping around him.</p><p>Hades steps out of the darkness to her right, shadows growing and twisting behind him. Her eyes flick between the two; Zenos does not struggle, but she knows his life hangs in the balance. Because of her. Again.</p><p>“Your desire to keep a pet that can kill you has ceased to amuse me, my dear. That thing,” he gestures to Zenos as he walks toward her, “is a rabid animal that should be put down.”</p><p>She should back down. But she has been itching for a fight. And seeing that bloodthirsty look on Zenos’s face had nearly scratched it. She shrugs. “I had it under control.”</p><p>“Yes, it certainly looked that way.” His measured steps bring him to her side and he looks down at her with half lidded eyes. “You are mortal, despite whatever blessings Hydaelyn has bestowed—”</p><p>“Then do something about it!” Another fight she should not be picking, and she knows it.</p><p>Hades grabs her by her hair, yanking her head back painfully.</p><p>“You are not worthy to stand where she should have stood.”</p><p>Were she not held firmly in place, she would have physically recoiled from the rage in his voice. Never, not once, has he drawn a distinction between her as she is now and her soul as it had been. That pain cuts so deep that for a moment she forgets to breathe. His darkness has swelled to engulf the room, shadows lashing angrily in her peripheral vision. She brings her hand up to his in her hair, swallowing down her own fear.</p><p>“I’m sorry, Hades, I didn't mean to upset you.” He doesn’t move to release her, but she can see the shift in his eyes. “Please, my love. I know you will do what is necessary when the time is right.”</p><p>The shadows do not retreat, but his face softens and he releases her to allow her to stand. Kaya takes a trembling breath as she reaches towards him to put her hand on his chest. Her heart still beats wildly in her own, but his is calm and steady.</p><p>“Put Zenos down, please. It was my fault.” She steps closer, never taking her eyes off his. The darkness begins to recede slowly. “Hades, please, for me. Don’t hurt him.”</p><p>Zenos drops with a grunt and she wants to go to him, but she knows she has already pushed this far enough.</p><p>“Thank you.” She keeps her tone soft, placating, because she knows he could change his mind in an instant.</p><p>Hades grips her jaw, fingers tight enough that she fears he will leave bruises. </p><p>“Behave yourself until I return.” He turns to look at Zenos, disdain written clearly on his features. “And you, my dear great grandson. This is twice now she has begged for your life. She will not be given a third opportunity.”</p><p>Kaya knows that threat is as much for her as it is for Zenos. As soon as Hades is gone and the portal disappears, she rushes to him. He doesn’t need her help up, he isn’t hurt, but she feels guilty all the same. She wraps her arms around him and although he tenses at the contact he doesn’t push her away.</p><p>“I’m so, so sorry. I should never have—”</p><p>“Don’t. Do not apologize for him.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Hades has been gone for days, and Elidibus is vague at best about where he’s gone. She feels guilty for seeking comfort in Zenos, because she knows she is using him, but he welcomes her with open arms. After, she wonders how different things would be if it were just them.<p>“Are you scared of him?”</p><p>Zenos doesn’t need to specify which him he’s referring to, and if he’s asking, he already knows the answer. He traces circles along her bare back, following the curves and hollows of her spine and rib cage. They don’t spend time like this often, but his touch soothes her. She would have drifted off in the warm afterglow, laying on her stomach with him on his side next to her, if he hadn’t said anything.</p><p>“Please don’t, Zenos.”</p><p>It isn’t safe, she almost adds. But that would be too far. And she never knows when she’s being watched from the shadows.</p><p>“My father is, too.” He shifts closer and pulls her against his chest, tucking her head under his chin. His embrace feels safe. “I know how much he hurts you.”</p><p>Kaya pulls away abruptly, and Zenos lets her go. Like he does every time. She’s out of bed and halfway to the door before she can even think of a response.</p><p>“He loves me, and he knows what I can take.” She opens the door between her bedchamber and the sitting room of her quarters, standing aside and crossing her arms. He doesn’t need to say anything, the look on his face is enough. <i>Who are you trying to convince?</i> “This conversation is over. Please leave.”</p><p>Zenos doesn’t argue. Doesn’t even try to touch her when he leaves. He knows he’s pushed too much. She waits until he’s left her apartments entirely before releasing a shaky sigh.</p><p>“Have a nice visit with your husband, my dear?” Kaya sucks in a breath. She hadn’t even noticed him appearing through all the tension. His voice is a hot breath across her ear and she can feel his presence against her back even though he doesn’t touch her. “Are you scared of me?”</p><p>She shivers and her eyes drift closed. Hades sounds like sin and dark promises, and she will never get tired of hearing it. Even if she’s scared of him. Even if he hurts her. She shakes her head, but she knows he’ll see through the lie.</p><p>“Clean yourself up.” She can hear the sneer in his voice even if she can’t see it. He’s gone again while his words still hang in the air.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Come screech at me on Discord at <a>The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Chapter 16</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A continuing fight</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zenos is meeting with Varis alone when it happens. Kaya suspects this is by design. Hades and Elidibus are nowhere to be found. This, too, does not seem like a coincidence.</p><p>Quiet whispers stop suddenly when she turns down the hallway towards the Emperor’s rooms, servants glancing at her sidelong as though she doesn’t belong. As though she hasn’t been here for months. Zenos is seated on an upholstered bench outside the door, eyes closed, but even from here she can read the tension in his posture.</p><p>“What happened?”</p><p>“He just collapsed.” He shrugs slightly. He does not like his father, and has perhaps wished harm on him more than once, but Zenos would have simply killed the man outright if he wanted to.</p><p>The door to the Emperor’s chambers opens and a man steps out. A medicus, maybe. Do they even have healers in Galremald? “My Lord?”</p><p>Zenos moves to follow the man into the room, a hand on Kaya’s back guiding her with him. She looks at him questioningly, but his face is the stoic mask she’s come to associate with his father. The first door closes behind her and Zenos follows the other man to a second. They speak quietly enough that she can’t hear.</p><p>When he leaves, Zenos lingers where they spoke, leaning against the doorframe and looking into the room where she assumes Varis is.</p><p>“His body is fine. Healthy as it has always been. But otherwise he is unresponsive.” His expression doesn’t change when he looks at her. “Did they do this?”</p><p>She wants to tell him no, but this whole thing feels decidedly Ascian. She knows little of Garlean politics, even after all her time here, but she can’t imagine having their Emperor catatonic is going to be good for anything. Would Zenos take over? And what could all of it mean for her, for the peace she had bought with her freedom?</p><p>“Did you know?”</p><p>“No! Zenos, I wouldn’t… I don’t even know that they had anything to do with this, they’re both gone.”</p><p>In the time she has known him, she doesn't think she has ever seen Zenos look so cold. There’s no hate, no anger, just nothing. It isn’t his father’s condition that makes him look like that, she realizes suddenly, it’s her. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div><p>A bell passes and Kaya finds herself in the training yard with Zenos. His mood has not changed, but he is no less brutal a sparring partner because of it. She’s already fatigued, but somehow she’s hoping that this will help him.</p><p>“Use your Echo when you fight.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“See my attacks before they happen. Use the Echo.”</p><p>Without warning he rushes her, the force of the strike sending her flying across the yard. She lands on her back winded and still trying to make sense of what he’s saying. Zenos extends a hand to her to help her up.</p><p>“I don’t understand. It doesn’t work like that!”</p><p>“You’re not trying.”</p><p>“You didn’t give me a chance!”</p><p>He’s already walking back across the yard. “Good thing this is a training sword, then.”</p><p>Zenos is relentless, coming at her again and again so fast that she’s knocked down before her brain has even registered that he’s moved. She doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do and her frustration is bringing her close to tears. Her pulse is pounding in her ears, muscles protesting every movement she makes, breathing ragged. She’s trying to focus on Zenos but he’s so fast, and her body hurts so much, and she doesn’t know how to do what he’s asking.</p><p>“Stop thinking and just feel, Kaya.”</p><p>She is feeling, that’s the only thing she can do! She wants to scream, but she holds it in. She stumbles left as he lunges for her again, feels the air ghost past her side moments later, then brings her katana up to block the downswing she knows is coming. How did she know? Zenos stops his blade less than an ill from her own.</p><p>“That’s it. Do it faster.”</p><p>Kaya resets her stance as Zenos crosses the yard away from her. If she drops dead from exhaustion, will Hades still kill him? She suspects the answer is yes, but then again, he has yet to appear to put a stop to this.</p><p>Zenos does not stop, does not slow. She has no idea how he’s still got the energy for this when she’s trembling so much that she can barely raise her weapon to block him. But after the third or fourth successful dodge, she realizes she knows how she’s doing it. His aether shifts, sending out little currents that seem to signal where he will be before he’s there. Once she feels it, the air around her comes alive with those same currents. His next attack comes, and she’s able to get behind him with enough time to parry a swing. If she wasn’t so exhausted, she might have laughed in triumph.</p><p>“Very good. Now attack when you’re doing it.”</p><p>She lowers her blade by her side, looking everywhere but at him. She isn’t even sure how she’s still standing. “Zenos, please. No more today.”</p><p>She flinches as he throws down his weapon, turning on his heel and stalking out of the yard without a word. The door slams behind him, the sound echoing around her. Now that she’s not moving, it registers that there are tears freezing her cheeks and she can no longer feel her toes or her fingers. Her teeth chatter in the cold as she retrieves both swords to put them away inside.</p><p>She doesn’t think she’s ever felt so cold or so alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Chapter 17</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A light extinguished</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Ayyyy we’re 17 chapters in and I think I know where I’m going with this!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The bath has long since gone cold, but Kaya doesn’t have the energy to move. She wraps her arms around her legs and rests her chin on her knees. Zenos, Elidibus, Hades… Varis. She doesn’t know what to do about any of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Even the crackling of aether as a portal opens in her room doesn’t pull her from the void she’s in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kaya?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She turns her head towards the sound of her name and Elidibus comes into focus. He’s averting his eyes, but he pulls her out of the bath and wraps her in a towel. He says nothing else as he picks her up and carries her into the sitting room where the fire has reduced to embers. Flames roar back to life at the wave of his hand, and he settles onto the floor in front of the hearth with her in his lap. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hades would be so angry. She shouldn’t be this close to him, not when she’s wearing nothing but a towel. But he’s so warm and she hurts so much.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kaya fades in and out of awareness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There are so many stars in the sky above Amaurot. Laying between him and Hyth on a blanket on the rooftop terrace of their building, she traces the shapes of constellations and he tells the stories of the stars.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... over exerted herself in training, most like…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Look!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She flings open the door of his office carrying the most unfortunate looking bird he’s ever seen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hades, isn’t it lovely!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He pulls off his mask and pinches the bridge of his nose. She’s interrupted his work again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The Light on the First continues to grow…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is the only way. You must listen to me.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t believe him, and so she runs. And when the world shatters, she is alone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She isn’t ready.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“She has to be.”</span>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>------</p>
</div><p>
  <span>When she wakes, she realizes she must have been having a nightmare. She snuggles closer to Hades with a yawn, kisses his bare chest. She’s not sure how she knows what time it is, the curtains are still drawn, but she can tell they’ve overslept.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning, my love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They should get up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Mmm. You’re going to be late for work, Hades. Hyth probably left without you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It isn’t until he stiffens against her that the wrongness of everything hits. This isn’t Amaurot, this is Garlemald. Hades has never spent the night with her, and they’re not even in her room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What..?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Elidibus brought you back to his room after he found you unconscious in yours.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Had Elidibus lied for her? Why?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She can remember bits and pieces of dreams, snatches of conversation while she slept, but she’s having trouble differentiating the two.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to be more careful,” he scolds her gently, “using the Echo can be quite taxing.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighs as he runs his fingers through her hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Glad as I am to have you in my arms again, my dear, there is still work to be done.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She knows, somewhere deep in her mind, that she should not ask, and yet… in her heart she knows she would do anything for him. Anything to feel the soaring joy she feels when he’s pleased with her, and avoid the crushing ache when he is not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Get dressed, I want to show you something.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>———</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Hades pulls her through a portal, the darkness doesn’t even bother her anymore, beyond her hair raising slightly at the back of her neck, and onto a rocky ledge. Below them she can see the Ixali surrounded by the crystals that mean they’re trying to summon Garuda again. She sees some of the Scions, the twins and Y’shtola, a Roegadyn Paladin with sword and shield drawn leads the group. The summoning, the battle, it all goes quickly. The Paladin is strong, clearly gifted with the Echo.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are we here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He is manipulating her and she knows this. She knows it is in his nature. Whoever the man was that she loved once upon a time, this is not him. Whether lost to time or bitterness or Zodiark’s influence, Hades has been replaced by Emet-Selch. And yet, and yet, and yet... she is under his spell.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you see? How quickly your friends have moved on and forgotten you. Even Hydaelyn has already named a new champion.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The pain of that does not come as sharp as she would have expected. Of course they’ve forgotten her. She’s scarcely left the palace in Garlemald except to visit Amaurot. How long did she expect them to continue to care?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Are these her thoughts, or his?</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She watches them celebrate their victory, as she would have done with them once. How could they forget her? After everything, after all she had done for them, after throwing herself on the mercy of the Empire to end the war. How dare they? Her hands clench into fists at her sides. Hades wraps his arms around her from behind, his lips almost brushing her ear as he continues.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“These fractured beings are not worthy of you, of your sacrifices for them. If they saw you now, they would kill you for nothing more than daring to understand their enemy. They would take you away from me, my love.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And just like that, the little voice inside her is silenced, smothered under his darkness. It’s been happening so slowly that she hasn’t even really noticed the fading of the light, of Hydaelen’s influence, and Her protection.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Chapter 18</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Just for tonight, dream with me.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Varis still hasn’t woken up - Kaya doubts he ever will - so the throne sits empty. Zenos spends much of his time in meetings, now, so she trains alone. Just as well, given how their last session went.</p>
<p>She slept a few hours, but must have woken up and gone wandering because she finds herself climbing the steps of the dais. Her insomnia has gotten worse lately. Some combination of stress and her Echo leaves her disoriented, struggling to differentiate reality and memories and dreams.</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t be surprised to find you here.”</p>
<p>Zenos’s voice from behind her. She can feel him getting closer, coming up the steps.</p>
<p>“Are you simply attracted to powerful men, or do you want that power for yourself, I wonder.”</p>
<p>Kaya doesn’t know how to answer that question. She’d never considered the possibility of being the Empress when she came here. Though she knew why, now, Solus zos Galvus had been in power for a very long time and she had assumed his grandson would do the same. Zenos steps past her, somehow managing to look threatening even as he reclines into the throne. Like he was made for it, she thinks. But of course, he was. Heat spreads from her core at the sight.</p>
<p>He holds a hand out to her, and pulls her into his lap when she takes it.</p>
<p>“We shouldn’t—”</p>
<p>“It’s alright, he’s not here.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t even think to ask how he could possibly know that, but she believes him.</p>
<p>She’s only wearing a thin robe, but with his heat against her she doesn’t even feel the chill of the room. A quick tug of the belt loosens the garment and then his hands are on her knees, spreading her legs to rest on either side of his own. Despite being bared and facing the room, she isn’t concerned about someone walking in and finding them like this.</p>
<p>His fingers trace meaningless patterns along her inner thighs, lips pressing against the sensitive skin below her ear until she’s shivering at his touch. She can feel his length hardening under her as she squirms, but he seems in no rush. Her lips part on a gasp when his fingers trace the sensitive skin at the apex of her thighs, but he gets no closer to her core before he’s drifting back down towards her knees.</p>
<p>“I would give you anything you desired.” He punctuates his words with kisses along the curve of her neck. “Garlemald. Eorzea. The world, if you asked me for it. Together, there are no lands we could not conquer, my friend.”</p>
<p>Fingers tracing higher, stroking agonizingly gently over her folds, not yet parting her.</p>
<p>“Would you rule by my side?”</p>
<p>A soft moan escapes her. They should not, she should not, but she cannot bear to stop him.</p>
<p>His free hand splays across her stomach, pulling her firmly against him, and she can feel how much he wants her. The first swipe of his finger dips to her entrance, gathering the wetness there and drawing it up to circle the bundle of nerves that already throbs for want of attention. Her words stick in her throat. He teases with featherlight strokes until she’s panting, writhing in his lap, and only then does he slip his fingers inside her.</p>
<p>The way he touches her, he knows her, understands perfectly how to drive her to the edge of bliss and keep her suspended there. Desperate, gasping for breath. She’s achingly close to release but he denies her, withdrawing his hand.</p>
<p>Zenos shifts her out of his lap, seating her on the edge of the throne as he drops to his knees in front of her. His arms hook under her knees, spreading her legs further and pulling her to the very edge of the seat. Lips and teeth blaze a trail up one thigh and down the other.</p>
<p>“Please,” she whimpers. Her plea falls on deaf ears. He does not bite hard enough to leave marks, he knows better, but he continues until her breathing slows as she falls back from the edge.</p>
<p>Kaya’s hands tangle in his blonde hair when his tongue finds her clit. Even in this he takes his time, strong arms holding her still even when she tugs insistently at his head. He traces the tip of his tongue through her folds and her whole body shudders when he works it inside her, drawing a breathy curse from her lips. His hold loosens just slightly, enough for her to grind herself against his face. He hums quietly and the vibration has her seeing stars.</p>
<p>“Oh gods, Zenos, please!”</p>
<p>She curls her body around his head, hands clenching tightly in his hair as if she’s afraid she’ll float away without that anchor.</p>
<p>His fingers replace his tongue inside her and his lips seal over her swollen nub to suck, one hard flick of his tongue against it and she comes apart. Inner walls clenching around his fingers, pressing and circling that most tender spot, as she rides the impossible swell of her pleasure. She screams into the silence of the throne room, no thought or care given to who might hear.</p>
<p>He untangles her gently, kissing away the tears that steak down her cheeks. He frees himself from his pants as he rearranges them, seated in the throne once more but with her facing him this time, her knees planted on either side of his hips.</p>
<p>“You’re beautiful.”</p>
<p>She buries her face against his chest. She shouldn’t, can’t. He deserves better than her. Better than half, less than half, of her attention. His hands push into her hair at the sides of her head, pulling her back gently and forcing her to look up at him.</p>
<p>“Come away with me. We’ll destroy any who dare to stand in our way. The world could be ours.”</p>
<p>The longing in his voice makes her ache, more tears spilling unbidden, faster than he can kiss them away. He rests his forehead against hers, his voice dropping to a whisper.</p>
<p>“Just for tonight, dream with me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Chapter 19</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>So, you can drag me through hell<br/>If it meant I could hold your hand</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elidibus stands beside him on a bluff overlooking a forest of trees with purple foliage, in the distance the harsh light reflects off the blue crystal spires of the Allagan tower.</p>
<p>“How did this happen?”</p>
<p>“Don’t ask me.”</p>
<p>“It’s your tower, Emet-Selch. How did it come to be here?”</p>
<p>Truth be told, Emet-Selch hasn’t the faintest idea. He doesn’t know of any magic that would allow the tower and its occupant, one infuriatingly meddlesome Crystal Exarch, to be transported through time and space to land here.</p>
<p>“He has already summoned the souls of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn. How long until the Warrior of Light is among their number?”</p>
<p>He does not care for Elidibus’s tone. As though this is somehow his mess to clean up.</p>
<p>“This is her vision. She may prove useful here, if—”</p>
<p>“She is losing her grip on reality, Elidibus. In her state, she may end up more useless than Fandaniel.”</p>
<p>Elidibus turns on him, and even with the mask and hood obscuring his face Emet-Selch can feel his glare. “If she is in this state it is because you forced her to it. She is attempting to use her Echo to regain her memories for you, and you are either stupid or cruel to push her away as you have.</p>
<p>“The Ardor must continue, with or without her. I leave it to you to correct this.”</p>
<p>Elidibus disappears, leaving Emet-Selch fuming.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div><p>Kaya walks the streets of Amaurot between Elidibus and Hades. This, she thinks, is real. Between the Echo and the insomnia, torn between half-remembered memories and waking dreams, she thinks she might be losing her mind. There is a tension between the three of them, words unspoken, unanswered questions. Hades seems to be on the edge of anger, Elidibus more determined. Or maybe resigned.</p>
<p>They approach the Capitol building and as the doors open she knows she has been here before, in the recreation. She makes it halfway across the floor before the Echo hits, so strong it knocks her to one knee. She tries to push it back, but all that happens is her vision clearing slightly so that she is unable to distinguish what is Echo and what is real. Hades crouches in front of her, his lips moving, but her mind takes a moment to latch on to the sound.</p>
<p>“... half-broken… thing. Whatever am I to do with you?”</p>
<p>This is the Hades that terrifies her. When he reaches for her face, she flinches away. </p>
<p>Elidibus stands to the side, watching her, but he wears his mask and white robes and she can’t make out the expression on his face. Behind him, she can see hooded figures going about their business, but they do not look like the shades that inhabit the recreation, they look more real. How many timelines is she experiencing?</p>
<p>She struggles to her feet, still trying to control the Echo and return to the present, whichever one that is.</p>
<p>Hades - Emet-Selch, she thinks, she does not know him as Hades yet - is further away now.</p>
<p>“Then we shall offer up the Source’s remaining inhabitants in sacrifice, that we might resurrect our brethren...”</p>
<p>She senses, more than sees, her friends - no, the Scions, they are not her friends - in her peripheral vision. They are not here, though, not in the present. They will be here, eventually, she knows.</p>
<p>Kaya reaches for Hades, hears her own voice begging him to make it stop even though she is certain she hasn’t opened her mouth to speak. He’s still in front of her, holding her face, saying something that she can’t hear.</p>
<p>No, he’s walking in front of her. Robed and opening the doors that lead deeper into the building. They are going to a meeting and she’s gotten distracted by something happening in the hall as they pass through.</p>
<p>“Azem, really, we’re already late. Come on.” He’s exasperated. She’s made them late because she wanted to stop to see Hyth before they left his office.</p>
<p>“How long do you mean to perpetuate this farce?” His voice again, but which one? Hades now, or Hades then, or Emet-Selch?</p>
<p>“Azem!” Elidibus hurrying after her, his voice so much more youthful. She finds his dedication to his office endearing.</p>
<p>“You cannot be entrusted with our legacy. I will bring back our brethren. Our friends. Our loved ones. The world belongs to us and us alone.” She knows these words, she has heard them before. Heard his rage. Knows what waits for her through those doors, and further beyond. She can’t fight him again, she can’t bear to lose him a second, no third, time.</p>
<p>“Hades!”</p>
<p>Her knees crack painfully against the marble floor, drawing the here and now back into sharp focus. Hades is wearing his robes and mask like Elidibus - was he wearing them when they came? - and she almost shivers at the sight, some distant memory telling her that those robes mean “enemy.” But he isn’t her enemy anymore. Was he ever?</p>
<p>His hands close around hers, pulling her to her feet and into his arms.</p>
<p>“Shh, it’s alright my love, I’m here.” His aether wraps around her, soothing her raw nerves. Has she always been able to feel that? Her chest tightens at the thought. Of course she has, it’s just been so long that she’s forgotten what it felt like.</p>
<p>Elidibus puts a hand on her shoulder, his touch reassuring. “Are you ready?”</p>
<p>She nods, though she doesn’t have the faintest idea of what she’s agreeing to. They must have had a conversation that she doesn’t remember.</p>
<p>There is no fire when the doors open, only more marble floors and impossibly high ceilings. An elevator and a hall that she knows lead to the Convocation meeting room. It is only the three of them, and she knows this is important, but she can’t remember why they’re here.</p>
<p>“Hades? I don’t… What are we doing here?”</p>
<p>He and Elidibus stand in front of her, close enough that she could reach out and touch them, but far enough that she feels self-conscious, like they’re both expecting her to do something and she’s forgotten.</p>
<p>“You wanted to return to us, my love. Don’t you remember?” His voice is patient, calming. Yes, of course she wants to join them. Why would she not? This is home. She nods.</p>
<p>Hades extends his hand, a crystal glowing faintly in his gloved palm, but when she starts to reach for it, he closes his fingers over it.</p>
<p>“We need to know that you are committed. Tell me what our goal is.”</p>
<p>They have had this conversation already. He and Elidibus told her everything. But it’s just at the edge of her memory, just out of reach.</p>
<p>“To rejoin the shards of the world.” She swallows hard, mouth suddenly dry. She knows the price that must be paid to bring back their, her, world. “To restore Zodiark and restore the lives that were lost.” Even at the cost of the countless lives of the Source, the remaining shards.</p>
<p>“Knowing that, would you still join us?”</p>
<p>Kaya nods. Anything he asked of her. Anything to please him.</p>
<p>“Let me hear you say it, my love.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I would still join you. Please, Hades. I want to remember. I want to come home.”</p>
<p>He opens his hand and she reaches for the crystal.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Chapter 20</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A Warrior of Light</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The darkness is complete and absolute. She doesn’t know if she is standing or floating or lying down. She cannot hear or feel anything, and she’s not certain she remembers anything about who she is or how she came to be in this darkness. The darkness is so thick that it fills her lungs when she breathes, but it doesn’t seem wrong.</p>
<p>Has she died? Is what death is like? How terribly boring.</p>
<p>She feels her name. It would be wrong to say she hears it, because there is no sound, but it drifts across her mind like a stray thought.</p>
<p>In the same way, she has the sense of being welcomed like a wayward child. There is a touch of sternness to it, disappointment that she had wandered off. She is sorry to have caused so much worry. It is alright, now, she has returned.</p>
<p>
  <i>Persephone.</i>
</p>
<p>Is that her name? Yes, she remembers now. It has been so long since she’s been called that.</p>
<p>Something is in her hand. Her crystal, she realizes. She reaches for its energy with her aether, and feels it flowing into her, filling gaps in her soul that she had never realized were there. No, that isn’t quite right. She knew she was missing something, she just never knew how to name the feeling.</p>
<p>Is she still sundered?</p>
<p>Only rejoining will restore the fragments of her soul, but she will remember, now. Possessed of her memories and the darkness, she will be able to further their cause.</p>
<p>
  <i>It is time to wake up. They are waiting.</i>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>For the first time in a long while, Persephone wakes feeling well rested. Hades must have let her sleep in. She stretches lazily, yawning, and opens her eyes. Soft turquoise light filters in through the window in their bedroom. That isn’t right. She’s Kaya, not Persephone. No, she’s both, she thinks. She has her memories back, and a quickly fading dream of darkness.<p>She reaches out for Hades, knowing that he will feel her calling to him.</p>
<p>When he opens the door he still wears the wrong face, but it’s him all the same, and she wonders how she ever could have not known.</p>
<p>“Come back to bed, my love.” Her voice is still rough with sleep.</p>
<p>He laughs, actually laughs, and it’s the most wonderful sound she’s ever heard. “I think not, my dear. I’ve let you sleep far too long already.” He does sit on the edge of the bed, though, gently detangling her hair with his fingers. “How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>She shifts to lay her head in his lap. “Better. Wonderful, actually.” She pulls his free hand to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I didn’t know how much I missed you. I’m sorry for leaving you.”</p>
<p>“I know. Come, we’re already late. There is work to be done.”</p>
<p>She would rather spend the day here with him, but her pout does not sway him and so she reluctantly slides out of bed to get ready. He doesn’t need to direct her to the bathroom, or to the bureau where her robes are kept. They feel familiar and yet strange on this body. </p>
<p>Outside of the apartment she is much too small for this world, but then so is he. She enjoys the walk with her hand in his and despite his statement about being late he seems content to take his time with her. Emet-Selch, delayed as always because of Azem. She almost giggles at the thought. Some things never change.</p>
<p>Elidibus meets them in front of the Capitol.</p>
<p>“Azem, you’re looking much improved. I am glad.”</p>
<p>She smiles, feeling self conscious about being without a mask when the other two both have theirs on. “Thank you, Elidibus. I feel much better.”</p>
<p>He turns to Hades, or Emet-Selch since she supposes she should refer to him by his title in this context. “The Warrior of Light has been summoned.”</p>
<p>For a moment she is confused, too used to being the Warrior of Light herself, and then all at once she understands. The Warrior of Light has been summoned to stop the light, to kill the Lightwardens, to prevent the Ardor.</p>
<p>“Hades— Emet-Selch, you can’t. If you fight the Warrior of Light you will die.”</p>
<p>She knows this with certainty, and she won’t let it happen. She gives him a pleading look, but it is Elidibus that responds to her.</p>
<p>“We do not believe they will be successful in defeating the Light Wardens. When you had your vision of these events, what allowed you to succeed was the presence of another shard of your soul. I do not believe the current Warrior of Light has any such advantage. They will either die in the attempt to defeat the wardens, or they will fail to contain the light.”</p>
<p>She looks between Elidibus and Emet-Selch, eyes wide with panic not because of what they plan, but because she is terrified that they will fail. The Scions know how to kill Ascians, they have done it before, they certainly would not hesitate to do it again. She does not know this new Warrior of Light, but she must assume they are as strong as she is, or was.</p>
<p>“Emet-Selch, I can’t lose you, not again.”</p>
<p>He cups her chin, turning her to look at him, and all she can see is his golden eyes through the holes in his mask.</p>
<p>“I won’t be introducing myself to your friends. You will follow them. Do what you must to keep them from succeeding.”</p>
<p>She falters. Her? In a way it makes sense, they think they know her. If she needs to interfere it will likely be easy to gain their trust. But… she doesn’t know what she’s doing. She doesn’t have Emet-Selch’s power, she barely even has a handle on her own.</p>
<p>“I will be watching, my dear. Try not to disappoint me.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hahaha I don’t know what I’m doing here.</p>
<p>Thanks for sticking with it!</p>
<p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Chapter 21</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Two Warriors of Light</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kaya waits until the first Lightwarden is slain and night returns to the Crystarium to make her presence known. She stands in the plaza with Hades, he remains in the shadows, unseen, but she can feel his presence at her back.</p>
<p>As the group, the Exarch, Lyna, the twins, and the Warrior of Light, make their way through the crowd, the Exarch sees her first and his step falters. The others follow his gaze and Alisaie’s jaw drops when they see her. She smiles and raises a hand in a wave as they rush over.</p>
<p>“Kaya!? How— what are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“I was hoping you might be able to tell me. One minute I was in Garlemald, and the next I was here.”</p>
<p>The Exarch glances between her and the new Warrior, the same Roegadyn paladin she saw defeat Garuda. She knows he was expecting her to come when he summoned the Warrior of Light, but he seems to have taken it in stride. Already the Warrior’s aether shows signs of the light he’s absorbed. The Exarch raises a hand to his chin thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Two Warriors of Light? I suppose it is possible…” He waves a hand almost dismissively and turns to the Roe. “Well, my friend, I would say you have earned your rest. Please, make your way to the Pendants, I have arranged places for you to stay. It seems I owe my unintended guest an explanation.”</p>
<p>With the Warrior of Light and the twins dismissed, with a promise of joining them for breakfast in the morning, Kaya follows the Exarch to the tower. He offers her tea, which she declines, and then settles into a chair across from her. He starts to launch into an explanation of who he is, and she raises a hand to stop him.</p>
<p>“It has been some time, but I do recall who it was that was sealed within this tower, old friend.” Even the hood can’t mask his shocked expression. “It’s alright, G’raha, I will keep your secret.”</p>
<p>He laughs nervously and pushes his hood back, revealing a face relatively unchanged by time except for the blue crystallization. “I suppose deception is not my strongest skill. But tell me, how did there come to be two Warriors of Light?”</p>
<p>Kaya shrugs. “There was a peace treaty with Garlemald. I agreed to marry the Prince in exchange for an alliance, and once I was married I retired. The Scions still needed someone to fight the primals, so it seems they found another.”</p>
<p>The thoughtful look from earlier returns. “It does seem unusual that my call would find you so late, but I will admit I do not understand myself how exactly it worked. I did not intend to summon the Scions, and yet they were the first to arrive.” He launches into a longer explanation of the First, the Flood of Light, the Wardens, all of the things she already knows but she listens intently anyway. His trust may be crucial in the coming days. “Could you be persuaded out of your retirement? We could surely use your strength, my friend.”</p>
<p>She has little to no desire to engage in any kind of fighting, but she knows it will be suspicious if she doesn’t offer to join them. As far as anyone knows, she is still the Warrior of Light. “I don’t think our Roegadyn friend has any need of my physical strength, but I will do what I can.”</p>
<p>G’raha looks relieved, and she should feel guilty, but she doesn’t. He escorts her to the Pendants, his hood now firmly in place, and leaves her to get some rest.</p>
<p>She’s hoping for Hades, but no. Ardbert makes his presence known first, standing with his back to the window and watching her dig through the basket of food on the table.</p>
<p>“Hello, Ardbert.”</p>
<p>He visibly starts at her direct address. “You can see me?”</p>
<p>She hums affirmatively around a mouthful of fruit.</p>
<p>“It’s been so long. I’ve just been stuck here, watching.” She lets him monologue about his ghost existence, about the burdens of being a hero, as if she doesn’t already know. She feels sorry for him, as she always has, but she can’t do anything about it and it will be over soon, anyway. The fraction of her soul that he carries will be returned to her when the light is released. She can’t share any of this with him. </p>
<p>It occurs to her that she has no idea what will become of the Scions’ bodies on the Source, with their souls trapped here, nor does she know what shape the calamity will take there. But in the end, does it really matter? The fractured lives that inhabit the shards and the source are less than. She has her own home to think about. Finally Ardbert disappears, though she wonders if he ever truly does or if he just floats around in her general area.</p>
<p>“You play your part to perfection, my dear.” Hades has made himself comfortable on the bed behind her, from the sound of his voice. “I nearly believed you myself.”</p>
<p>“High praise from you, my love.” She strips off her clothes down to her smalls and she crosses the floor to join him, not missing the way his eyes travel over her as she does. “I can feel you when you’re close, now, hovering in the shadows.”</p>
<p>He smirks lazily at her as she crawls towards him on the bed. “I like to watch.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Chapter 22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>First a sin eater and now an Ascian</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dawn broke over the Crystarium for the first time in a century. </p><p>Kaya woke alone, as she suspected she might. She had stirred briefly in the night to Hades climbing out of bed; he had whispered for her to go back to sleep, but she felt him leave before she drifted off. She dresses in gear borrowed from the Crystarium Guard, though being in armor again feels strange, and heads down to join Alisaie, Alphinaud, and the new Warrior whose name she can’t remember.</p><p>She finds the trio gathered around a table downstairs in the Pendants, breakfast spread on the table between them, and slides onto the bench beside Alisaie. She, predictably, immediately starts talking.</p><p>“How did you get here? We haven’t seen you in so long!”</p><p>Kaya grabs a pastry and waits for her to take a breath in her line of questioning.<br/>
“Same as you lot, I imagine. I went to sleep and woke up on the ground outside the gates here.” </p><p>Between bites of food, they talk about what the Scions had been doing in the Source before they were dragged through time and space to get here, what they’ve learned about the First, about the Lightwardens, and how they plan to defeat them and thereby save. Kaya adds what little she remembers about the Warriors of Darkness when they came to the Source, but otherwise just listens. </p><p>The warrior - “Call me Kel,” he says - doesn’t seem to have much to contribute. Big, dumb, and quiet. Excellent traits in a Warrior of Light, she thinks.</p><p>She’s only half listening to the conversation about tracking down the rest of the Scions as she wonders where Hades snuck off to in the dead of night.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>With Emet-Selch and Azem - Kaya, an intrusive thought tells him - away on the First, it falls to Elidibus to manage things on the Source. He has the dubious pleasure of working with Fandaniel, who seems less than content to manage uprisings and primal summonings, and managing Zenos. For conveniences’ sake, he continues to keep himself in Garlemald. He doesn’t doubt that Zenos would burn the empire to ash simply to spite Emet-Selch, and at least here he can keep an eye on the prince. He hopes Emet-Selch is faring better with managing Azem, or perhaps it is the other way around.<p>The door to his room opens without a knock and for a moment he wonders if she’s come back already, but then he looks up and finds Zenos looming in the door.</p><p>“Where is she?”</p><p>Why had he insisted on Emet-Selch taking care of the mess on the First? He looks back to his book. “Away.”</p><p>There is a silence so prolonged that he would think Zenos has given up and left, if he couldn’t still feel the heat of the other man’s glare. “Did he take her?”</p><p>With a heavy sigh he closes his book and sets it on the table. “No, he did not ‘take’ her. She went willingly, and gladly.”</p><p>Even as he says it, there is a flicker of doubt. He has seen how Kaya changes in Emet-Selch’s presence and the way she warped under his influence over time. Elidibus does not regret the loss of the Warrior of Light, but he finds he does miss Kaya, the person he had come to know during her time with him. He has no memory of Azem as she was, nor of her relationship with Emet-Selch outside of the Convocation, but now he finds himself wondering. He is not inclined to share any of this with Zenos.</p><p>“If I am not mistaken, you have an empire to manage. Focus your attentions there if you require a distraction.”</p><p>“I know you care for her. Do not let him destroy her more than he already has.”</p><p>The words hit too close for comfort. </p><p>“You both seek to possess her. Is your claim somehow more worthy?” He doesn’t wait for a response.  “She has made her choice.”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Kaya manages to convince everyone that she’ll do more good around the Crystarium while they fetch the remaining members of the party. Partially because she doesn’t want to be part of the reunions, but also because she has found the Light here to be strangely bothersome. At least in the Crystarium, with the Lightwarden gone, it’s somewhat more tolerable.<p>It takes longer than expected for them to return, and when they do it is with Urianger, Thancred, and the one they’re calling Minfilia, and another Warden slain. She cannot see the light, but the Warrior’s presence grows more grating. Has the darkness in her grown so quickly?</p><p>Another two days pass and they return with Y’shtola. Kaya, in a stroke of poor luck, is at the gate when they approach. The mage stops, her blind gaze locked firmly on Kaya.</p><p>“Welcome back!” She greets them cheerfully, although she certainly doesn’t feel it, especially under that analytical stare.</p><p>“Guard duty again, Kaya?” Thancred seems to be the only one who has noticed her avoiding them.</p><p>“First a sin eater and now an Ascian. Perhaps my sight truly is failing.” There is a collective gasp from the remaining members of the group, except for the Warrior who seems to have already lost interest and is staring at the sky.</p><p>Kaya’s heart leaps into her throat. She should have known Y’shtola’s sight would pick up the changes in her. She smiles anyway. “Well, I am married to one. Maybe his aether is rubbing off on me?”</p><p>She taps her chin thoughtfully. “Indeed.”</p><p>She wishes for Hades, or Elidibus, or someone to help her and tell her what to do. If they discover the truth about her, it could ruin everything. But there is no one. Kaya maintains her composure as best she can as she waves them in with some vague comment about the Exarch awaiting their return. When they invite her to join them for dinner that evening, she can’t think of an excuse not to.</p><p>Y’sthola is the first, and only, one of the Scions to ask her any questions about herself. She knows, of course, that it is only to find out more about what the Ascian has been doing, and she has to remind herself that they are only aware of Elidibus. Kaya fields the questions casually, but carefully, with enough of the truth so that she doesn’t catch herself on a lie later. Eventually, they all seem to conclude that she is not, in fact, a threat, and settle into more pleasant conversation.</p><p>Two Wardens left. If the warrior makes it that far.</p><p>Where is Hades?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Pardon the exposition dump</p><p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Chapter 23</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: character death ahead</p>
<p>Also smut.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eulmore is absolute chaos when they begin the push to the top of the tower. Kaya remembers this, only now she is one who hangs back while the Warrior of Light continues on. Somewhere amid the chaos and the overwhelming presence of light, around the middle of the tower she realizes Hades is here, too. It’s a chore trying to find him, but eventually she does, napping (or pretending to) in one of the private boxes in The Beehive. He doesn’t even open his eyes when she comes in.</p>
<p>“Enjoying being a hero again, my dear?”</p>
<p>“Where have you been?” She snaps a little more than she means to; she’s gotten increasingly irritable at the continued success of the Warrior.</p>
<p>“I have been here, keeping Vauthry and his dog out of your hair.” He stands suddenly, fixing her with a glare that would have made her wither had she not been so annoyed with him. “Hydaelyn’s Champion still stands, I see. Perhaps I put too much faith in you.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t rise to the taunt. “Vauthry will kill him, or the light will corrupt him. Does it truly make a difference?”</p>
<p>His glare turns to a smirk, but before he can say anything she grips his robes and drags him down towards her. Her lips almost brush his, but she stops short. “I missed you.”</p>
<p>He closes the distance and pushes her back into the wall, their kiss bruising in its intensity. Loud banging from somewhere above them makes him break away and look up. “Your timing has always been terrible.”</p>
<p>“You can be fast.” She palms his length, stroking it through the fabric, whispering against his lips between rushed kisses. “I remember sneaking out of all those boring meetings, finding an empty room… going back in and trying to focus when I could feel your cum dripping out of me.”</p>
<p>Hades groans and his hand tightens on her hip, but when she leans up to kiss him again he spins her so that she has to brace her arms against the wall to avoid falling into it. A snap from behind her and his clothing is likely replaced with something more convenient, she doesn’t look back to confirm, doesn’t need to. What does it matter what he wears as long as he is inside her <i>right now</i>. Hands yank at the waistband of her pants, pulling them down around her thighs, and she shudders. </p>
<p>They could get caught. Neither of them cares.</p>
<p>He pulls her hips back, forcing her to extend her arms with her palms flat on the wall, and then his hand covers her mouth. She can feel the tip of his length brushing her folds and she whines softly, pleading.</p>
<p>“Keep quiet and still for me. Can you do that?”</p>
<p>Kaya nods rapidly. Anything, anything he asks as long as he will just fuck her. He hilts inside her in one thrust and she has to bite her tongue to silence her moan. </p>
<p>“Good girl.”</p>
<p>The pace he sets has her knees threatening to buckle, but she obeys him, swallowing her cries and bracing herself so hard against the wall that her arms are shaking.</p>
<p>“Everyone knew it, too. Sweet, innocent Persephone loved being my little whore.”</p>
<p>He slams his hips into her so hard that she almost falters, her eyes rolling back and her toes curling inside her boots. Another one like that and she may not be able to contain her voice.</p>
<p>“You still do, don’t you?”</p>
<p>She nods again and chokes on a whimper. He’s chasing his finish and she knows she’s not going to reach hers, but somehow she doesn’t care; it’s enough to have satisfied him. His hips stutter in their rhythm, and the pulse within her as he releases is almost enough to send her over. Almost. But then he slips out of her and pulls her upright against him, brushing a kiss against her temple as he roughly tugs her pants back into place. She’s glad for the dark fabric that will hopefully hide the wetness that leaks out of her.</p>
<p>“You have a hero to deal with, my dear.”</p>
<p>Her core is still throbbing, aching for a climax that isn’t coming, when she makes her way to join the others. Hades’ invisible presence behind her doesn’t help the ache, but at least she knows she isn’t alone this time.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>The Scions don’t make it. Urianger, Thancred, and the girl, fallen during the climb up the mountain; Y’shtola and Alphinaud, struck down by the sin eater at the peak; its the Warrior of Light, Alisaie, and her at the end, facing Vauthry. She should feel guilt but instead she just feels… nothing.<p>The Warrior survives. Alisaie does not. That loss does sting a bit, though in the end she would have died in the light anyway.</p>
<p>As she knew would happen, the Warrior began to change, and G’raha appeared to sacrifice himself and take the light into the rift. Kaya stepped between him and the Warrior before he could do much of anything, and he lowered his hood, clearly shocked.</p>
<p>“What are you doing?”</p>
<p>“I can’t let you do this, G’raha.”</p>
<p>“This is the only way, my friend.”</p>
<p>She shakes her head, smiling sadly. “I have to save my home.”</p>
<p>Emotions flicker across his features. Confusion, sadness, shock, even a bit of anger, she thinks. “If this shard is flooded with Light, then the Calamity on the Source—”</p>
<p>“Not our home, G’raha. <i>My</i> home.”</p>
<p>She can feel the light burning at her back, hear the pained sounds coming from the Warrior as the Light consumes him. The sky above changes from night back to the endless expanse of uncomfortable light. In her periphery she sees Hades step from the shadows and G’raha gasps.</p>
<p>“Ascians?” </p>
<p>He makes to raise his staff against this new threat, but a wave of Hades’ hand and the weapon is thrown aside.</p>
<p>“What do you intend to do?”</p>
<p>“What we Ascians have always done. Usher in the great Rejoining. Your Warrior of Light will become a sin eater, the people will lose hope, and the Light will consume you all. But your meddling, Exarch, cannot be suffered to continue.” Hades turns his head to look at her. “Kill him.”</p>
<p>Kaya’s eyes widen slightly. Just briefly, she recalls that he was once a friend and that she should feel wrong about killing an unarmed man. But the look in Hades’ eyes leaves no room for argument. And so she doesn’t.</p>
<p>The blade does not go in cleanly thanks to the crystal, but he dies like any other man. Though she is no stranger to death, no stranger to being the bringer of it, her stomach still turns slightly.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t look like that, dearest.” Hades waves a hand dismissively as he turns to look at the Warrior. “We should go, before that thing finishes its transformation.”</p>
<p>She is glad for the excuse to turn away, and lets herself be pulled into the rift with him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This maybe should have been two chapters oh well.</p>
<p>Screech at me on Discord at <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Chapter 24</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>An intruder</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Time on the Source moved more slowly, but from what little Elidibus had shared with her things would begin to unravel soon. With the Scions mostly gone, it would only be a matter of time before the beast tribes and their primals began wreaking havoc. She hadn’t asked what would become of everything when the Calamity happened. If she was honest with herself, she was scared. Somewhere in there, she is still Kaya, native of Eorzea and the Source; even with her memories returned, this is, or was, home for the life of this partial soul. </p><p>Hades had pushed her to rest with him, but she had wanted to remain in Garlemald for a bit longer. With her promise that she would behave, and Elidibus’s assurance that he would keep an eye on her, he relented.</p><p>Kaya woke to the sound of movement in the sitting room.</p><p>“Elidibus?” She called out softly as she slid out of the bed, wondering what he was doing in her rooms in the middle of the night. After a moment of her eyes adjusting to the dark, she pulled her robe on and padded into the other room. A movement by the door startled her and she yelped slightly, stumbling back from the hulking form that was most decidedly not Elidibus. “Zenos! Gods, you scared me. What are you doing?”</p><p>She waves her hand absently and the fire in the hearth roars back to life, casting the room in orange light and flickering shadows. His face is neutral, but she can feel that something is wrong.</p><p>“I hadn’t seen you.”</p><p>She arches an eyebrow at him. She’s been back for a couple of days, but he’s been busy running the Empire in his father’s stead. “So you broke into my room in the middle of the night?”</p><p>“Didn’t break in.” He shrugs. “Door wasn’t locked.”</p><p>There is an implication there that if it had been locked he would have broken in, but she doesn’t look too deeply into that. She holds her hand out to him, smiling softly. “Do you want to come to bed?”</p><p>Zenos hesitates for a moment, but then nods and crosses toward her to take her hand. He lifts her palm to his lips, pressing a kiss in the center. He is holding back, words and emotions, and she doesn’t know what else she can say to him. Doesn’t know why he would seek comfort in her bed, but she can indulge it at least once more.</p><p>He clings to her, after. His head on her chest and arms wrapped around her waist. She brushes his hair back from his face, carding her fingers through the golden strands absently as they both catch their breath. It’s almost absurd how this man, nearly twice her size, curls into her like a child. </p><p>“What will happen to me?”</p><p>Her hand stills, fingers halfway threaded through his hair. She had never heard him sound so small and unsure.</p><p>“I don’t know.”</p><p>His Resonant may protect him, or perhaps not. She doesn’t know enough about it, or about the coming calamity, to answer him. For the sake of whatever affection she still has for him, she hopes he will be alright. But she won’t lie, not to him.</p><p>
  <i>In her dreams, Persephone remembers.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The season is changing and she has returned to Amaurot from her travels. She does not remember where she has gone, only that she is back now. The trees in the gardens have started to turn, lovely shades of orange and yellow and red. Sunlight streams through the foliage onto her upturned face, her hood thrown back and mask dangling loosely in her fingers. The flowers that they have magicked into existence will remain stunning throughout the fall and winter, but the trees change and mark the passing of time.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>A heavy sigh from behind her, one she knows well. “Late as usual, dearest.” Exasperated, but indulgent, as ever. </i>
</p><p>
  <i>She smiles as she turns to face Hades. “I wanted to come see you as soon as I got in, but Hyth said you were in a meeting.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“A meeting you should have been in.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She laughs and throws her arm around his shoulders, pulling his convocation mask away from his face so she can kiss him. Elsewhere in the gardens, someone clears their throat at her display, but she doesn’t care. She’s been gone for months and missing him. Eventually, Hades manages to detach himself from her.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Lahabrea was in a fine state over your absence.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Well, our Speaker does not care much for me anyway. He would have been in a state even if I had been there.” She kisses him again, more chastely this time, and replaces his mask. “Did I miss anything important?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Hades takes her hand and they stroll through the garden. She doesn’t doubt that he’s eager to return home, and she is too, but she’s sure he hasn’t been outside much in her absence and the fresh air will do him good.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“They named Elidibus.” The long pause after tells her everything and she laughs. Hades sighs.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“I’m glad, Matteus is a good choice.” She knows his dedication and enthusiasm grate on the nerves of some of the tenured Convocation members, Hades among them, but she finds it endearing. She bumps him with her shoulder. “He’s young. He’ll learn.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You still haven’t.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>She stops, leaning up to nip at his lower lip and whisper against him. “Perhaps the esteemed Emet-Selch can correct my bad behavior.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Her fingers trail down the front of his robes teasingly, but she’s dancing away down the path before he can even groan.</i>
</p><p>When Kaya wakes in the morning, she is alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Chapter 25</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A Calamity</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Turning down the hallway to Elidibus’s rooms, Kaya can sense the presence of another with him. She can’t see, not like Hades, but her Echo has grown stronger and if she reaches out she can sense things that would otherwise be hidden to the mortal eye; it feels like grasping at shadows, unless it’s Hades she’s reaching out for. But this isn’t him. When she reaches the door, the other is gone. Another Ascian, then. Hades and Elidibus - probably just Hades, actually - have kept her hidden away for reasons she doesn’t understand.</p><p>“Enter.” Elidibus speaks before she even raises her hand to knock.</p><p>He’s facing away from her, silhouetted against the sunset in the window. She’s gotten quite good at reading his body language, hesitant as he is to express his emotions, and right now he looks stressed, tension drawing his shoulders together. He doesn’t turn around even when she waves her hand to clear space at the table, books and papers straightening and returning to their rightful homes on the shelves. She can’t conjure and create the way the unsundered can, but she has gotten better at manipulating ambient aether to her convenience.</p><p>“You’re getting quite good at that.”</p><p>A smile lights her up at the compliment; it’s rare for her to hear them. Hades hasn’t been around to see her practicing, and he’s rarely impressed with anything anyway. Elidibus is watching her in profile now, and she sits down at the table. </p><p>“Relax, Elidibus. You look tense.”</p><p>He gives a quiet sigh, almost inaudible, but his shoulders slump and he joins her, waving wine and glasses into existence as he does. He pours into both glasses and picks up his own, but doesn’t drink right away. She wants to ask what troubles him, wants to ask about the other presence in his room, wants to ask if he remembers his name, because she does now. But instead she sips her wine.</p><p>“We will…” he trails off, spins his glass between his fingers. “You might consider joining Emet-Selch soon.”</p><p>Irritation makes her clench her jaw. They’re treating her like a child. She’s come this far, she’s killed for them, and still she gets the distinct sense that they are keeping something from her. “Is that your opinion, or Emet-Selch’s?”</p><p>“Azem.” He hasn’t moved, but just the tone of his voice makes her feel like he’s looming over her and Kaya shrinks back in her chair. “You are young. This is your home and you may not wish to watch it destroyed.”</p><p><i>Destroyed</i>. Her mind latches onto that word. She isn’t naive, she lived through a calamity once already, but to hear him phrase it like that… She swallows a lump in her throat. “Will it be that bad?”</p><p>The menacing presence retreats, leaving the Emissary looking tired. “It will take a while for the Source to recover.”</p><p>His response leaves her with more questions than answers. Some residual part of her, whatever is left of Kaya, wants to stay and help in the wake of the destruction. It may even be useful to plant the seeds of trust between mortals and Ascians, let that trust grow so that when they next need to manipulate the course of the star it is ready. Isn’t it her role to travel, to explore and collect new knowledge about the world? But that’s why, isn’t it? Hades doesn’t want her to travel, because she left. She polishes off her wine and reaches for the bottle to refill.</p><p>“He can’t keep me locked away forever, Elidibus.” Something tells her he would certainly try. She sighs and runs her hand through her hair. This wasn’t how she had meant for this evening to go. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to cause more stress for you.”</p><p>“No apology necessary.” His fingers brush against hers where they rest on the top of the table, and then he’s holding her hand before she even realizes what’s happened. “I enjoy your company, Kaya.” </p><p>She blushes, her whole body warming to his touch and his soft tone. Something passes between them in the moment, a feeling she doesn’t dare name, but then he withdraws and looks away. The silence is uncomfortable, both trying to ignore an emotion that cannot be.</p><p>“I um… I need to ask a favor. If I’m going to leave.” Kaya chews on her lower lip as she hesitates. The things that would upset Hades if he knew just keep piling up. “Will you try to keep Zenos safe?”</p><p>She still isn’t sure if she is going to leave, because she doesn’t really want to. If she’s being honest, the idea of being unconscious in a void, as she imagines Hades is, makes her uncomfortable. But if she does, she wants to know that the one person she still cares about will be okay. Elidibus looks back to her, searching her face, for what she doesn’t know.</p><p>“For your sake, I will do what I can.”</p><p>It will have to be enough.</p><p> </p><p>Two days later, after what feels like endless back and forth with Elidibus, Kaya hesitantly agrees to leave. She still doesn’t want to, but she’s let him convince her that it’s for the best.</p><p>“How do I even do this, Elidibus? I don’t even know how to use the stupid portals.” </p><p>Fear turns her hesitation into anger. Why did she even agree to go away?</p><p>“Would you like me to wake Emet-Selch instead?”</p><p>Oh yes, she’s sure he’ll be just thrilled about that. Kaya glares at Elidibus, who has his forehead in his hand.</p><p>“No, just tell me how to do it!”</p><p>He sighs through his nose. He’s been trying to teach her for the better part of the last two bells. He is patient, but she can tell it’s starting to wear thin.</p><p>“Try again. Close your eyes.”</p><p>She does, taking a deep breath to calm and focus herself.</p><p>“You should be able to reach out to him. You know what his aether feels like, look for that.”</p><p>If her eyes weren’t closed, she would roll them. How is she supposed to reach through the vastness of the universe to locate a single individual? Home. Hades feels like home. The turning leaves in Amaurot and the twisting spires outside their apartment windows, the feeling of his embrace and the way he envelops her when he holds her. <i>There</i>.</p><p>“Missing me already, dearest?”</p><p>Her eyes snap open and she lets out a surprised giggle, pleased with herself for having done it. Part of her realizes he must have been waiting for this, and she wonders if this was the plan all along. But she’s already agreed and there’s no point in being upset. And when his hands cup her face and he catches her lips with his, it doesn’t matter anyway.</p><p>“Come. Elidibus will find some new excuse to bother me soon enough.”</p><p>Kaya smiles at Elidibus, whose expression is carefully guarded even behind his mask, and then lets Hades pull her into his arms. She returns the embrace, her arms wrapping around his waist and her head resting on his chest. Home. There is darkness, briefly and then…</p><p>Nothing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a>The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Chapter 26</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A meeting</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>No one was prepared for the Calamity, not really. Massive storms decimated entire areas, rendering so much unlivable. All of Ilsaberd, most of Eorzea and Othard. Gridiania fared the best of the city-states, with the protection of the thick forests, followed by Limsa Lominsa, though its enormous spires were reduced to islands. </p><p>Even ten years on, the skies are still darkened with clouds.</p><p>The sun peeks through occasionally, now, though hardly enough to call the day “sunny.” He remembers living in the desert and going weeks without seeing a cloud. Those days are long passed. Standing on the hill over Limsa, the once-great city reduced to little more than a fishing village, he can see a few rays of sun glimmering off the ocean. It’s about mid-day, but save for those few rays it may as well be the middle of the night. </p><p>The hunter adjusts the carcass slung over his shoulders and makes his way down the slope to the village. Once, the armies of this city would have stood against him. But there is no empire anymore, and the world has all but forgotten Zenos yae Galvus. His height can blend in well enough here with the sizable Roegadyn population. Still, it would not do to take an unnecessary risk, so he keeps his head and the lower part of his face covered.</p><p>Even covered up as he was, he got strange looks as he made his way through the shacks and stalls to find the man who had hired him. Maybe it was the monster he carried, or the katana strapped to his hip. Or perhaps just that the residents were unused to seeing an outsider. Adventurers were few and far between, these days.</p><p>“You sure I can’t convince you to stick around, take another job? No shortage of monsters needing killing around here.”</p><p>Zenos shakes his head. “I’m looking for someone.”</p><p>“Ain’t like there’s much place else for them to go. Gridania maybe. Nothing left elsewhere.”</p><p>If only it were that simple. He knows better than most what the rest of the star looks like, having traversed the continents multiple times in his search. Ten years with no sign of her, nor any of the other Ascians. He takes the coin purse from the man and makes his way back through the town to what passes for the tavern.</p><p>She will return, one day. He knows it in his heart. For now, he just has to be patient.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div><i>Azem.</i><p>Someone reaches out for her, and she answers.</p><p>This place. She knows this place. She looks around, gaze finally landing on Elidibus. There is no one else here. She smiles and crosses the stone floor to him.</p><p>“Ah, Elidibus! For once I am not late.”</p><p>“That’s because I called you first.”</p><p>Persephone laughs and he looks away, seemingly embarrassed, though she isn’t sure why. He’s always been one of her favorites. Maybe it’s that crush she suspects he has on her, not that she would ever bring it up. He’s still young enough that it’s sweet, and of course, he knows that she only has eyes for Hades and Hythlodaeus. </p><p>Wait, that isn’t right. Elidibus is older than she is. Kaya is Azem, now. She presses her fingertips to her forehead, her mask slipping slightly, as she tries to reassemble her identity. Kaya, the sundered version of Persephone, restored to the seat of Azem. How long has she been away? It feels like only moments since she departed Garlemald.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p>She lifts her free hand to wave off his concern. After a few moments, she straightens her mask and smiles. “Fine, thank you. I am still getting used to this, I think. Would you like me to call Emet-Selch?”</p><p>He nods, disappearing from his place on the floor near her only to reappear in his rightful seat. She remains below, reaching out for Hades, who appears beside her after some delay.</p><p>“Much as I am loath to be roused from well-deserved rest, I must say I prefer hearing the call from you.”</p><p>His fingers brush her cheek as he leans down to kiss her, but then he too takes his place above. Others appear, as well, but most remain empty. The sight aches in a way she had not expected. Lahabrea, Igeyorhm, Nabriales. Gone, because of her. Of the Fourteen, only six remain. And all five sets of eyes are on her.</p><p>Fandaniel is grinning, though it has a decidedly manic tilt. “Well, the prodigal daughter shows herself at last.”</p><p>She has never been more thankful for her mask, though she doubts it fully hides her discomfort. She has nothing to offer in response. The Deserter. The Ascian Slayer. Her sins are numbered by the empty spaces above. She looks to Emet-Selch for guidance, but he offers nothing, and so she looks to Elidibus.</p><p>“Azem has been restored to the Convocation. She has answered for her actions and proved her devotion.”</p><p>“Has she.” Pashtarot phrases it like a statement, not a question.</p><p>Kaya wants to sink into the floor. She didn’t necessarily expect to be welcomed back with open arms, but to be put on the spot like this… What can she even say?</p><p>“You made this decision without consulting any of us, Elidibus. We have looked to you for leadership, but this—”</p><p>“I did not make the decision lightly, and doing so prevented our work on the First from being undone. If there is to be censure, I accept responsibility.”</p><p>There is an uncomfortable silence in the room, so loud that she can hear her heart pounding in her ears. Her thoughts race. Why would Elidibus do this for her? What will everyone else say? Too late, she considers Hades’ reaction.</p><p>“I don’t believe that’s necessary.” That dangerous smoothness of his voice sends chills down her back. She should turn to him, but she’s rooted to the spot. “As you say, she prevented so much of our hard work from going to waste. And we can hardly fault her for the damage she did when in thrall to Hydaelyn.”</p><p>There are quiet murmurs of assent, some more begrudging than others, but she’s near trembling.</p><p>“Well, now that that’s settled...” He pauses and she can feel him looking at her. “Oh, do sit down, Azem. You’re distracting.”</p><p>She, somehow, remembers which place is hers, but settles for standing in front of it because she still has no idea how to manipulate the portals. No one makes mention of it. She remembers now why she hated Convocation meetings so much. Why she skipped as many as she could get away with.</p><p>“I’m sure you had a good reason for calling us all here, Elidibus.”</p><p>Elidibus pointedly looks away from her. “Yes. The First and Fourth shards have rejoined with the Source. Three shards remain, and since we are so few I thought it prudent to bring everyone together.”</p><p>She slept through two rejoinings. How long were they in that void? The discussion continues over her head, but she hears little of it as she dwells on the dark emotions she can feel from Hades, and her own fear of what’s become of the Source in her absence. Two more pieces of her soul returned. Will she remember more? Gain more control of her abilities? So many questions she wants answers to, but she doubts Hades will be feeling particularly indulgent any time soon.</p><p>“Azem.” At the sound of her title she snaps her head up to find Elidibus looking in her direction again. “You will find the Source much changed, and I would ask you to resume your duties in understanding the people. Learn what you can of them, and bring that knowledge to the Convocation.”</p><p>“Yes, of course.” Even to her own ear, her voice sounds dazed.</p><p>Elidibus offers a vague dismissal, and the others depart to their duties. After a moment of hesitation, he disappears as well, leaving her alone with Hades.</p><p>“Well,” he starts speaking before he’s left his seat, but steps out of a cloud of darkness - fitting for his mood, she thinks - some distance from her. His steps towards her are measured, calculated to make her feel his presence. She knows this game. “It seems his affections for you have only grown in your absence.”</p><p>She wants to pull away, knows it will not help. She shakes her head. “It’s a harmless crush, Hades. It always has been.”</p><p>Clawed gloves grip her jaw with bruising intensity and her hand lands softly on his forearm. She’s caught in his golden gaze as he looms over her. “You are mine, Persephone.”</p><p>“Always, my love. Only yours.”</p><p>“I suggest you remind the Emissary of that the next time he seeks your company.” She makes a small sound, and then the moment is over and Hades releases her jaw to pull her against his side. “Back to the Source, then, my little wanderer?”</p><p>She nods. He’s like this because he loves her, because he’s lost her once before, because she left him alone for so long. It will get better.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Chapter 27</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A threat</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: Memories of past abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>The sound resonates in their quiet apartment, and the copper tang of blood fills her mouth. Absurdly, she wonders how this could be happening on such a lovely day. Sun streams through the windows, painting the room in cheerful hues. And her tears fall silently while her cheek throbs.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She doesn’t know what she did to set him off.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He reaches for her but she doesn’t flinch away, not even when he brushes his fingers along her bruising cheekbone. His hands on her wrists guide her gently to the couch, the space warmed from the sunlight, and she settles back into it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Persephone.” She’s dazed, tears blurring her vision as she looks up. He’s never done this before. “You stay here and rest. I’ll let everyone know you’re feeling unwell.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He wipes a stray tear and then kisses her forehead, his touch almost unnervingly gentle, now. She knows he didn’t mean it. He didn’t mean it, he’s just under a lot of pressure and she was…</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Hades?” At the sound of her voice he pauses at the door. “I love you.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I will be home as soon as I can.”</i>
</p>
<p>The memory feels so vivid, but off somehow. Like it doesn’t fit, or doesn’t really belong to her. Hades has a temper, but he’d never hit her. Not like that. She would have remembered if he had. So where had it come from?</p>
<p>She’s still trying to sort it out when Hades pulls her from the darkness outside of Ul’dah. Or what used to be Ul’dah. The desert sands have nearly buried the city. Upper levels peak out of the dunes, and she’s sure they’ll find it all but abandoned. Maybe a few stragglers, nothing like the city she remembers.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>She shakes her head. “I didn’t know what to expect. I spent a lot of time here early on… It’s strange to see it like this.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t bring up the memory, whatever it was. They’ve had enough conflict for the day. She glances at him out of the corner of her eye. He may not feel anything for this particular scene, but he knows the feeling of seeing your home reduced to nothing.</p>
<p>“Is there anything left?”</p>
<p>“A few souls.” He brushes off his robes, as if the very dust is offensive.</p>
<p>“What about the rest of the star?”</p>
<p>“You can see it for yourself. You’re not limited by the aether currents any more, you can travel freely.”</p>
<p>Her brows furrow in confusion. “Are you not—”</p>
<p>Hades scoffs. “Of course not. I have more important things to do than befriend these sundered beings.”</p>
<p>That’s an insulting oversimplification of her duties, but she bites her tongue. If she needs him, she can always reach him. And it will be nice to have some degree of freedom, without him watching her from the shadows.</p>
<p>“Try to stay out of trouble, Persephone. I don’t need to remind you that whatever heroes are left in this world can kill you.”</p>
<p>He’s gone with a wave of his hand before she can even think to ask how to use whatever powers she has now. She pulls her hood down and takes her mask off. At least she is in a plain black robe, not the ornamented ones she had come to associate with Ascians. She will likely need new clothes to really blend in, but these will do for now. She starts for the abandoned city on foot; learning to use the shadows can wait.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Zenos is traveling to Gridania when the feeling hits him. White noise, a sharp stabbing pain behind his eyes so intense that it brings him to his knees. The vision is blurry, like looking through distorted glass, but he recognizes the ruins of the desert city in the distance. A black robed figure walks alone towards it, hood down and long dark hair shifting slightly in a breeze. The figure stops suddenly and turns to face his point of view. Even distorted, there is no mistaking her. Though he knows he is not physically there, he feels as though she is looking directly at him. A wave of something he can only describe as raw power hits him and the vision snaps out suddenly.<p>He gets slowly to his feet, head still pounding from the residual effects of the Resonant. He isn’t even sure that was the Resonant, he’s never experienced anything like that before.</p>
<p>It will take days to reach Ul’dah, but for the first time since the Calamity, he has a purpose. After ten long years, she has returned. Though she is malms away, he can still feel her. He does not stop to wonder how she might have changed in the time they’ve been apart, if she will even want to see him. In many ways, none of that matters.</p>
<p>Aether crackles behind him and he turns, drawing his blade as he does. Even in the Ascian robes and mask, Zenos still immediately recognizes his great-grandfather, though more by feel than by sight.</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t be surprised to find you still alive, and yet your presence still vexes me.” His grip tightens around the katana’s hilt as Emet-Selch takes a step closer. “Put the sword down, boy. You can’t kill me like that and you know it.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t sheath it, but he does lower it and loosen his grip. As satisfying as it would be to run the old man through, it would be a pointless exercise.</p>
<p>“What do you want?”</p>
<p>The Ascian continues to pace closer. Though he stands more than a fulm shorter than Zenos, the younger man still has the distinct sense of being looked down on.</p>
<p>“If you value your pitiful existence, you will stay away from her.”</p>
<p>He offers no response, keeping his face neutral. He may not be able to kill Emet-Selch, but he isn’t afraid of the man.</p>
<p>“Not enough motivation? Do you think she’ll beg me to stop when I force her to watch me gut you like the beast that you are? She does do it so beautifully.”</p>
<p>“I think you underestimate her at your peril, Emet-Selch.”</p>
<p>“I will give this warning only once, and only for her sake. Do not make me regret my generosity.”</p>
<p>Generosity. He hates how much of his own personality is reflected back at him in the Ascian. He’s not that same man any more, but once…</p>
<p>Emet-Selch disappears back into the dark cloud he came from and Zenos finally releases a breath. He has a decision to make. Is she worth the risk? The answer is obvious for him, but he doesn’t know that Emet-Selch wouldn’t turn his wrath on her instead. And that isn’t something he could allow.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Chapter 28</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW: Memories of past abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was easy to slip back into the role of an adventurer, even if the world had moved on. Plying information and trust from the remaining residents of Ul’dah by doing favors, running errands, killing a few of the beasts that roamed the area. As always they were suspicious at first, but once she had done a couple of menial tasks they answered her questions freely. There had been more residents here once, but the desert was inhospitable and unforgiving, more so now, so most had moved on. Limsa and Gridania seemed to be the only remaining cities in Eorzea, no one here had heard anything of how the Far East fared.</p>
<p>She was able to trade her time and labor for a slightly more appropriate set of clothes, and she managed to find a sturdy enough short sword. Until she gained more control over her magic, she would feel a little better having some kind of weapon. She left the city on foot, bound for Gridania. A few malms out, confident that she had not been followed - either by the residents or from the shadows - she stopped in the cover of a rock formation. The boulders offered some protection from the road, or what was left of it, so if anyone happened along they wouldn’t see her as she attempted to open a portal.</p>
<p>It is... not going well. The most she’s managed is a dark puddle of aether, and she wants to scream. Or hit something. Possibly both. Why couldn’t Hades have just shown her before he left? She could call him, but then he would see how useless she is without him. She has to prove she’s good enough.</p>
<p>The dirt puffs up around her as she flops back against the rocks. Stupid girl. Can’t even make a simple portal. </p>
<p>Who else? Elidibus is the obvious choice, but also carries the risk of further upsetting Hades. The rest of them aren’t especially thrilled to have her back in the first place. No, she decides, she’s on her own.</p>
<p>She can feel someone watching her. Her head snaps up, swiveling around to find the source, but just like before outside of Ul’dah, there is no one in sight. It isn’t Hades, she would recognize his aether. She stretches her own awareness, as she did previously, seeking the invisible observer, and then suddenly the feeling is gone. The unknown is distressing. Someone is looking in on her and, more unnervingly, they seem to know when she’s looking back.</p>
<p>With an aggravated sigh, she pushes herself up. If she can’t make the portals work, she needs to at least find a sheltered place to make camp for the night.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div><i>The soft sounds of crying filter out through the door of their bedroom. She’s trying hard not to be heard, even though they’re alone in the apartment. Hades presses his forehead against the wood, one hand on the handle. He won’t open it, not yet, she needs time.</i><p>
  <i>It’s always like this when she returns from her travels. She forgets herself, forgets her place. He never means to hurt her, but she knows all the right buttons to press. Not for the first time he wonders if she does it on purpose. Pushing him until he snaps, though to what end he cannot possibly imagine.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Open the door, Persephone.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The door isn’t locked, he could open it himself, but this always goes better when it’s her decision. Silence on the other side. No sign of movement.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Persephone.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>His voice drops slightly; a warning. She pulls the door open and steps back to let him in. Her eyes, swollen and red from crying, meet his. A bruise has already begun to form along her temple where she hit the wall, fortunately that will be covered by her mask. The split in her lower lip won’t, but no one except Hythlodaeus will dare mention it. She winces as he runs his thumb along it.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“I’m sorry, Hades.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>The quiver in her voice tugs at him. She shouldn’t fear him, he never means for it to go like this, she knows that. He winds his arms around her shoulders, pulling her into his chest.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“It’s alright, dearest, I know you are.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>He can feel how much she loves him, and he knows she will feel the same from him. She’ll remember, adjust to being home again, and they’ll be fine. They always are.</i>
</p>
<p>Emet-Selch shakes off the memory. He hasn’t been listening to Elidibus. He had summoned the other Ascian with every intention of reminding him to stay away from her, but he’s distracted.</p>
<p>“You continue to push her away, Emet-Selch.”</p>
<p>He has about had it with Elidibus and his judgement, his presumption to know anything about his relationship with Persephone. His “harmless crush” which is anything but. Elidibus may have lost his memory but Emet-Selch has not, and he remembers exactly where things went wrong. Why Persephone left in the first place. If not for that...</p>
<p>“My relationship with her is not your concern, Elidibus.”</p>
<p>The other sighs in frustration. “Are you truly so eager to lose her again?”</p>
<p>“You would dare speak to me of loss? You, who hardly remember anything of what was taken from us?”</p>
<p>Anger rises to meet anger. They shouldn’t behave this way, not when they’re the only two unsundered left, but there are too many emotions boiling so near to the surface. Elidibus comes between him and Persephone, as he did so many lifetimes ago. </p>
<p>Emet-Selch needs to leave before he does something regrettable. Needs to see Persephone and lose himself in her until they both remember where they’re meant to be. Not that he would ever admit it, to himself or anyone else, but he fears her leaving again. </p>
<p>He doesn’t give Elidibus time to say anything else before he disappears.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Chapter 29</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW: Sexual content</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Even the old growth of the Shroud doesn’t seem to have come through the storms unscathed. Massive downed trees litter the edge of the forest, though further in there seems to be less damage. She’s a long way from Gridania still, depending on the state of the roads and whatever else she encounters. Thanalan was a wasteland, even the Amalj’aa seemed to be gone, but the Shroud has plenty of water and vegetation to support life.</p>
<p>She hasn’t been so tired since she first started her journey as an adventurer. Sleeping on the ground, eating only what she can forage or kill herself, which isn’t much in the wake of the calamity. After the time in the void, it’s overwhelming. She's too proud or too scared to ask for help.</p>
<p>And yet help arrives all the same.</p>
<p>“I can feel you, Hades.”</p>
<p>The aether shifts behind her and his steps crunch through the ground cover.</p>
<p>“You never let me have any fun, dearest.” He circles in front of her, offering a hand to help pull her to standing, which she takes without protest. “Here I was thinking you’d call me after a day or two. As always, your resiliency surprises me.”</p>
<p>His aether curls around her own. Almost playful. He’s in a good mood. She can’t consciously recall the last time he was in a good mood. <i>He was always like this, more affectionate, after…</i> after what? The memory hangs just out of reach, like a word on the tip of her tongue.</p>
<p>“I thought you had more important things to do?”</p>
<p>Hades cups her jaw, his expression intense but not threatening. “Persephone, nothing is more important to me than you are.” He leans in until his lips are almost against the shell of her ear. “But you need a bath.”</p>
<p>She lets out a startled laugh. Of course she needs a bath, she’s been roaming around the wilds of Eorzea for days. She grabs his hand, tugging him back towards the road. If she remembers correctly, and if she’s where she thinks she is, there was once a waterfall fairly close to here. “Fresh out of baths. You’re going to have to rough it with me.”</p>
<p>He makes a noise that is decidedly less than pleased, but lets her lead him anyway.</p>
<p>After a few minute’s walk she hears the rushing water of the falls, a little further and she finds her destination. She drops his hand and wades into the water, still shivering from the chill of it despite the relatively warm night. The pool doesn’t get deep enough for her to submerge herself, but she steps under the falls, still fully clothed, to soak everything. </p>
<p>A couple of minutes under the spray and then she steps out to strip off her soaked clothes, really just a roughspun tunic and loose pants, and spreads them on a flat rock nearby. Hades stands at the edge of the pool, arms crossed as he watches her. He’s never really seen her like this; like most of the Convocation he spent the majority of his time within the limits of Amaurot. He knew - knows - Persephone the student with her head in the clouds, Persephone the intern with more skill than sense, Azem the wayward Convocation member who never attended a meeting that he didn’t drag her to; not Azem the traveler, Persephone the adventurer who loved the wide world and saw the beauty in all its imperfection, Kaya the warrior who wanted to fight for those whose couldn’t.</p>
<p>It doesn’t matter, now. They have an eternity.</p>
<p>“Are you just going to watch?” He arches a brow at her and she holds her hand out towards him; she craves his nearness, his touch. It’s been so long and she can feel that acute longing in her soul. “Please join me?”</p>
<p>Hades shrugs with a dramatic sigh. “Oh, alright.”</p>
<p>A snap, and then he is bare before her and the sight steals her breath. He’s lean, the barest hint of muscle under pale skin, and silver hair fairly glows even without the benefit of moonlight. Longer than she remembers, hanging loose and straight past his shoulders. How long has it been since she’s seen him like this? The cold doesn’t seem to touch him as he steps into the water with her.</p>
<p>Her fingers trace the edge of his jaw, down the line of his throat to his shoulders. Dance, feather light, across the planes of his chest to his arms, and follow the corded muscles down to his hands to lace her fingers with his. The surge of his emotions, love and obsession and desire, is intoxicating and threatens to pull her under, drown her in his darkness. And she would let it happen.</p>
<p>He doesn’t resist when she tugs him near the flow of the waterfall, not quite pulling him under but near enough that she can watch the water travel in rivulets down his body. He lets her continue exploring with fingers and lips, his skin starting to pebble in the wake of her touch as it travels lower, his waist, the curve of his hip. She presses a kiss to his chest, her own feelings rising in response to his. She loves him, fears him, worships him. Has it ever been otherwise?</p>
<p>“Persephone.” A warning. The tips of his fingers press her chin up and her hands still in their exploration. Even laced with desire, she knows that tone.</p>
<p>The first brush of his lips is gentle, but the moment is over almost as soon as it’s begun and then he’s deepening the kiss, one hand traveling down her back to press her against him. A soft whine escapes her when she feels his length hardening where it’s trapped between them, but he doesn’t release her. His kiss, his darkness, his desire, Hades is all-consuming.</p>
<p>She is faintly aware of being transported when the sounds fade out. He releases her, only to push her back. Air rushes from her lungs in a gasp and she stumbles, falling to the ground in front of him. She’s been in this place with him before, though now she can tell they’re somewhere between, in the void. The darkness here is oppressive, other than him she can see little else.</p>
<p>He’s on his knees, pulling her to him with a hand on her calf. She needs him, craves him. His fingers trail up one thigh, close but not close enough, and then divert to grab her hip. She whimpers a plea, meaningless if not entirely ignored. Hips lift to meet his as he settles between her legs, if words will not move him then her body might. When he pushes against her entrance her back arches and she moans desperately, every thought reduced to need.</p>
<p>Hades leans over her, one hand braces beside her head and the other still gripping her hip.</p>
<p>“Tell me you’re mine. I need to hear you say it.”</p>
<p>“I’m yours, Hades. Please, I need—”</p>
<p>He’s pressing into her core slowly, painfully slowly. Claiming her. “Again.”</p>
<p>“I’m yours.”</p>
<p>His satisfied hum makes her shudder with pleasure, and she gasps as he forces in the last few ilms. The fullness borders on discomfort, pushing against places within her untouched for too long. He watches her, eyes locked on hers even as they flutter, as he starts to rock within her, pulling out just slightly only to bury himself in her again. Her soul, too, feels full to bursting with him, the depth of emotion overwhelming. Nothing, <i>nothing</i> matters more than him and them and this moment.</p>
<p>His hand shifts from her hip to wrap around her back, holding her hips off the floor so he can take her the way he wants. Forceful thrusts drive the air from her lungs in gasps and moans, his name an endless plea on her lips and from her soul to his. And his answer, in her ears and in her mind, <i>mine</i>.</p>
<p>Something snaps in her core like a bowstring stretched too tight, her orgasm completely blindsiding her, and her eyes roll back as she arches against him, not even able to breathe through the intensity of it. She’s only half aware of Hades lifting her into his arms, caging her against him as he drives towards his own climax. His lips press against the juncture of her neck and shoulder, trailing soft kisses up her neck to the sensitive skin below her ear.</p>
<p>“Tell me again, Persephone. Tell me who you belong to.”</p>
<p>“You. I’m yours, Hades.” A flicker of doubt. Is that him or her? They’re twined so closely that she can’t tell. If he feels it too, he doesn’t show any sign. She clings to him desperately, face pressed into the crook of his neck. He holds her tighter, so tight she knows his fingers will leave bruises whether that is his intent or not, and she feels the first stuttering jerks of his release within her. “Only yours.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Chapter 30</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hades is gone again, off to who knows where, but at least he had the decency to teach her how to use her aether to travel through the void before he left. Like everything else, she isn’t very good at it but she can make it work well enough.</p>
<p>Gridania looks much the same as she remembers it. More intact than Ul’dah. The aetheryte is destroyed, but the Carline Canopy is still operating. After how deserted everything else has been, Gridiania seems downright normal. Normal enough for her to get an inn room and spend the night.</p>
<p>“Not many travelers come through these days…” The innkeeper glances around at the few patrons in the Canopy early in the morning. “There was a man asking about you after you arrived last night.”</p>
<p>Her surprised look must come off looking like something else, because the man rushes through his next words. </p>
<p>“Ain’t none of my business, but he looked like the kind of man you might be trying to hide from…”</p>
<p>
  <i>Even from behind, even covered, she’d know that figure anywhere. He towers over the few other people in the room, and everyone except the man stuck behind the inn’s counter gives him a very wide berth.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“... another traveler, she would have arrived recently. I need to speak with her.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“Can’t rightly say if I seen her or not. You’re welcome to leave a message with me, if someone like that happens to pass through.”</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>There’s a long silence. </i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>“If she wants to see me, in three days I’ll be waiting where we first met.”</i>
</p>
<p>“...miss? You alright?”</p>
<p>She shakes off the residual haze of the Echo and smiles. “Fine, thank you. What were you saying?”</p>
<p>The man looks at her with something between suspicion and concern, then shrugs. “He said you’d know where to find him: ‘where you first met’. Said three days. He left after that.”</p>
<p>Of course he did. Three days. She could be in Rhalgr’s Reach now if she wanted to. Realizing the innkeeper is still looking at her, she thanks him and places a few gil on the counter, then walks out of the Canopy. She shouldn’t go. It should be enough to know that Zenos is alive and well. She doesn’t need to put him at risk of Hades’ anger so that she can see him again. But then… having lived through the calamities, Zenos will have perspective on what’s left of the world. It’s her job to travel, isn’t it? She’ll stay in Gridania, learn what she can here, and then meet Zenos. Just once. Once can’t hurt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The Reach is decimated, what was left of the massive statue has collapsed into rubble. The shelters carved into the rock remain, but everything else is gone. She steps from the darkness onto the hard-packed ground near the center of the once busy resistance camp and glances around, but there is nothing to see.</p>
<p>“I didn’t think you’d come.” His voice makes her jump. Even after all this time she’s shocked at how quickly and quietly he’s able to move. He closes the distance between them, pulling her up into his arms before she can process what’s happening. His voice is muffled against her shoulder. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again.”</p>
<p>She can’t, shouldn't… but she hugs him back anyway. She hadn’t realized how much she missed him. They stay like that for long moments, his presence bringing something back to her that she hadn’t noticed was missing. She feels safe in his arms. Why hasn’t she felt safe?</p>
<p>“Zenos…” Her voice is gentle, but firm. He has to put her down.</p>
<p>Neither of them speaks while he builds a small fire, tucked back in one of the stone rooms. There were merchants here, she remembers. There’s nothing left of it, now. Almost absently she reaches out, if only to confirm that Hades isn’t watching from the shadows. She can’t feel him. In the low flickering light of the flames, she can see the signs of age that have started to form on Zenos’s face. He’s starting to look more like his father.</p>
<p>“I searched for you. Where did you go, Kaya?”</p>
<p>For a brief moment, the name sounds foreign to her, as if it isn’t her own. Her mind stalls as she reassembles her identity. <i>Kaya, Persephone, Azem, all one and the same</i>. What can she tell him?</p>
<p>“I had to leave for a while. It’s… complicated.”</p>
<p>It’s a pathetic attempt at explaining herself, but she doesn’t know what else she can possibly say. She’s an Ascian now and by the way, she caused the Calamity that left everything in darkness here because her ancient immortal lover told her to. No, he’s better off not knowing the details.</p>
<p>“It’s been ten years.”</p>
<p>She cringes at the flatness of his voice. Ten years, no word, no explanation. And he was still looking for her. Had found her, somehow. Her brows knit together in confusion. He had known where she was.</p>
<p>“Zenos, how did you find me?”</p>
<p>“I can see you. When you went to Ul’dah I could see you in the desert, and then I could see you traveling. Just needed time to catch up, and for you to be alone.”</p>
<p>In the desert… The feeling of being watched, of someone looking in on her. The pieces slot into place and her eyes widen in shock. “That was you.”</p>
<p>Of course she didn’t recognize the presence, she never would have thought to consider him. She reaches her aether out again, focusing on him, but as soon as she recognizes the feeling Zenos takes a sharp, almost pained, breath. Immediately she withdraws.</p>
<p>“And that was you.” His lips quirk slightly. “All this time and you still have not mastered your abilities.”</p>
<p>It almost doesn’t feel like an insult, coming from him. They lapse into silence again, both consumed in their own thoughts. She’s the first to start talking again.</p>
<p>“Is there anything else left?”</p>
<p>“Kugane and Doma are both abandoned, a few tribes remain on the Steppe. Ishgard was buried in the snow in the first few years. Ala Mhigo is gone. Limsa Lominsa is rebuilding. You’ve seen what’s left of Ul’dah and Gridania.”</p>
<p>She frowns. With so little left, how can they expect the star to recover before the next rejoining?  But she supposes that’s probably more Elidibus or Emet-Selch’s concern than hers. She will just have to make the best of it.</p>
<p>“What will you do?”</p>
<p>“Go be an adventurer again. I used to be quite good at it.”</p>
<p>Zenos tilts his head slightly, studying her. “He has extinguished all of your fire, my friend.”</p>
<p>A pit forms in her stomach and she looks away quickly. He’s wrong. Hades gave her back her memories, showed her the truth of the world. The only thing he took from her was Hydaelyn’s blessing, and she had willingly given that up. She doesn’t need to fight any more, she didn’t want to fight in the first place.</p>
<p>“I… I should go. I’m glad you’re safe.”</p>
<p>She’s already been here too long. And the longer she lingers, the more danger he’s in. Zenos doesn’t move to stop her, he never has.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Come screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch's Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Chapter 31</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Persephone slams her hands on the table, standing up so quickly that her chair rocks. “No! Be quiet and let me finish!”</p><p>She knows better, she shouldn’t raise her voice at him, but something is <i>wrong</i> with their star and no one is listening to her. Because of him, because he undermines her at every turn. Even under his mask and hood she can see Hades’s face contort in anger. The lash of his aether is so strong that she feels like she’s been struck and she physically recoils. The other Convocation members look away, shifting uncomfortably.</p><p>“Perhaps a brief recess would be wise.”</p><p>She isn’t even sure who says it, but there are quiet murmurs of assent and the scraping of chairs as others stand and leave the room, until only she, Hades, and Elidibus remain. She offers the last a weak smile, and after glancing between the two of them he stands to leave as well.</p><p>“Hades, I—”</p><p>“Sit down, Persephone.”</p><p>Her hands are shaking, her mouth so dry that it feels like her throat is closing up. As soon as she sits, he stands and circles the table to stand beside her, looking down at her with narrowed eyes. She barely suppresses a flinch when his hand under her chin turns her head up toward him.</p><p>“You forget yourself, my dear.”</p><p>She presses her hands into her lap as chills run down her spine. It isn’t that she’s afraid of him, it’s only the way his voice sends ice through her veins. The disappointment, the soft tone that belies the venom in his words.</p><p>“Perhaps we should consider making your trips shorter. This only seems to happen when you’ve been away from me for too long.”</p><p>He words it like a suggestion, but she sees it for what it is. He’s right, though, he knows her well. She goes away, and she gets used to being on her own. But he’s always waiting to welcome her home and remind her who she is, and whose she is, because he loves her.</p><p>“Yes, of course.”</p><p>He brushes his thumb over her cheek and she leans her head into his touch. He may not always be able to express it, and he may lose his temper with her when she pushes him, but he loves her.</p><p>“Take a walk, dearest. Come back when you’ve had time to calm yourself down.”</p><p> </p><p>Persephone isn’t even sure why she’s crying, but now that she’s started she can’t make the tears stop. She wants to go see Hyth, because he’ll know how to calm her down, but she knows she has to go back to the meeting. She can only hide on the terrace for so long before someone comes looking for her.</p><p>“Azem?”</p><p>What a horrible person to have see her like this. She wipes her tears, hastily replacing her mask as she forces a smile. “Elidibus! I didn’t realize we had started again, I’ll be back inside in a moment.”</p><p>He fidgets, looking at everything but her. “We haven’t. Nabriales is…”</p><p>Despite her tears, she finds herself laughing with a nod. “He usually is.”</p><p>The faintest hint of a blush appears under his mask, and he keeps shifting from foot to foot, clasping and unclasping his hands like he isn’t sure what to do with them. He isn’t all that much younger than she is, but he acts like a schoolboy around her and it’s a little bit adorable. Or it would be, if she wasn’t trying to hide that she’s been crying.</p><p>“I…” He starts to say something, trails off. His eyes meet hers, but he looks away quickly. “He shouldn’t treat you the way he does. You deserve…”</p><p>She should say something, opens her mouth, closes it, turns her back to him to look out over the city again. She should defend Hades’s behavior, but all the things she could say don’t make it from her thoughts to her words. It doesn’t matter that everyone knows, that everyone sees what she is. For as long as she’s been Azem, the rest of the Convocation has been witness to her relationship with Hades. What bothers her is the nagging thought in the back of her mind that agrees with Elidibus. That she doesn’t deserve to be treated this way.</p><p>“I’m sorry, it isn’t my place to say anything.”</p><p>Persephone slips off her mask again, not bothering to wipe away the tears anymore. “It’s alright, Matteus. I appreciate your concern, but I will be fine.”</p><p>She can feel his surprise, and maybe a slight thrill that she has to ignore, at her use of his name, but he doesn’t say anything else. He lingers for another uncomfortable minute, but then she hears the door open and close behind her.</p><p>Hades loves her. No matter what else happens between them, she knows that to be true. It will get better if she spends less time away from him.</p><p>In all the chaos and the noise of the day, she has all but forgotten about the wrongness, the fraying at the fabric of their reality, that she feels.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. Chapter 32</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something is very, very wrong with her. It had started subtly, little things that didn’t feel quite right. Forgetfulness. She had hardly remembered her own name when Zenos used it. When she left Rhalgr’s Reach, she couldn’t quite recall where she was returning to. </p>
<p>The dreams had come next. Suffocating darkness and burning light. The sensation that she was being drowned and torn apart simultaneously. She dreamed of the Final Days, of Amaurot burning as she watched, helpless to save it. She dreamed of Elidibus, calm and resolved even as he went to his death. The worst were the dreams of Hydaelyn and Zodiark, of their battle, of the horrible sound of reality being unmade.</p>
<p>She avoided sleeping, remaining awake until she physically could not keep her eyes open any longer, and even then she only managed to nap for a bell or two before the nightmares woke her again.</p>
<p>Then there were her memories. Little glimpses of things she knew had not happened, because they didn’t seem to fit. She didn’t know where they were coming from. Hades had never hurt her, why would he? When the world had been whole, he loved her and they were happy together. The way he was now, was because she had abandoned him. Whatever they were, these memories were wrong, they didn’t belong to her.</p>
<p>Her mind is deteriorating again. She finds herself as she had been before her ascension, stuck between reality and dreams and memories. Alone and scared and breaking, she does the only thing she can, and calls out for Hades.</p>
<p>Her arms are around him the moment he steps out of the billowing darkness, tear-streaked face pressing into his chest. He scoops her off the floor and settles them onto the bed in her inn room, holding her in his lap and stroking his fingers through her hair as she calms in his presence. She’s with him, and everything is fine now. He would never hurt her, not the way these false memories show her.</p>
<p>“What is it, my love?”</p>
<p>“I…” She’s afraid to tell him. What if there’s something wrong with her? If it’s her fault, somehow? “I keep remembering things, things that aren’t real.”</p>
<p>The shift in his body, in his aether, is so subtle that she’s not sure she isn’t imagining it.</p>
<p>“What things?” He pulls her away from his chest with his hands on either side of her head, eyes searching her face questioningly. “What things, Persephone?”</p>
<p>“You…” It’s so absurd she can’t even find the words to describe it. “You wouldn’t hurt me. Not… not like that.”</p>
<p>Hades closes his eyes as he takes a deep breath, drawing her back against him and kissing the top of her head. “Oh, my love, why would I?”</p>
<p>It isn’t an answer, not really. But then, she hadn’t really asked a question. She holds him tighter. He wouldn’t lie to her, he has no reason to.</p>
<p>“Hades… did you hit me?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>She doesn’t need to see his face, she can feel it. He’s lying.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Elidibus does not get summoned, so when the pull of another reaches him he’s shocked, to say the least. More so when he realizes Kaya is the one who called him.<p>She paces the stone floor, mask off and hood pushed back, arms crossed wrapped around herself protectively. He starts to say something, but barely takes a breath before she cuts him off.</p>
<p>“There’s something wrong with me, Elidibus. I can’t remember. I… My memories are wrong.”</p>
<p>He doesn’t have any answers for her. Though he suspected she would begin to recover her memories after the shards of her soul were rejoined, hers was the only crystal that didn’t contain her true memories. They couldn’t have known what the outcome would be, what having two sets of memories might do to her.</p>
<p>“Have you spoken to Emet-Selch?” It isn’t helpful, but it is the only thing he can think to say.</p>
<p>She stops her pacing with her back turned to him. “He’s lying to me.”</p>
<p>Elidibus doesn’t bother concealing his irritation. He has warned Emet-Selch on more than one occasion that his actions are pushing Kaya away, and it seems he has finally pushed too far.</p>
<p>“He… he hurt me. I think everyone knew, and no one ever…” She trails off and sinks to her knees, curling in on herself defensively. “Why did I let him hurt me? Why didn’t I do something?”</p>
<p>Her pain is overwhelming; he can hear the unshed tears in her voice. He doesn’t know what to say, how to comfort her. Where her memories are conflicting, his are entirely missing. From what he has seen of her relationship with Emet-Selch now, he does not doubt what she says. But he can’t remember, and it leaves him feeling helpless.</p>
<p>“Kaya…”</p>
<p>“I’m scared, Matteus.”</p>
<p>Confusion. And then a spark of recognition. That was his name, once, though he hardly recognizes it now. He kneels beside her, longing to pull her into his arms and comfort her, but hesitant to touch her. In the end, he settles for laying a hand on her back.</p>
<p>“How can I help?”</p>
<p>“Can you… keep him away from me? Just for a little while, so I can figure this out?”</p>
<p>Even without his memories, he knows that keeping her from Emet-Selch will be easier said than done. But for her, he will try.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Elidibus feels!</p>
<p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. Chapter 33</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had rained earlier. The air is still thick with the smell of it, the ambient humidity. Clouds hang heavy and low over Amaurot, obscuring the tops of the buildings. The dark sky matches his mood.</p>
<p>Persephone is gone. She wouldn’t listen to him, wouldn’t hear reason. There is hardly enough of him left to be angry, he just feels numb. Hollowed out.</p>
<p>“Hades?”</p>
<p>Hythlodaeus finds him, as he always does. His presence should be a comfort. It isn’t.</p>
<p>“Did she come home?”</p>
<p>He knows the answer before the words are out, but he can’t help asking. He and the rest of the Convocation have hardly left the room lately, let alone the building. It may be foolish, but some part of him hopes that if he stays away, she might come back. If only to say goodbye to Hythlodaeus. At least then he would know she’s safe.</p>
<p>The other man settles on the bench beside him. Not close, not touching, not even leaning towards him as he usually does. Hythlodaeus blames him. Or perhaps Hades blames himself. It makes no difference, she’s gone all the same.</p>
<p>“Will you come home, Hades?”</p>
<p>It should pain him to hear the loneliness in his other partner’s voice. Persephone left them both. But he just can’t muster the emotion.</p>
<p>He should go home.</p>
<p>The weight of their chosen course weighs heavily on him, as it does on all of them. Is their sacrifice enough? Will it ever be enough? He shakes his head. Those are her thoughts, not his. They will continue their work to restore the star. And when they are successful, Persephone will come back. She has to come back.</p>
<p>He can’t go home, there is work to be done.</p>
<p>“I need to get back.”</p>
<p>He leaves Hythlodaeus alone, feels the stare on his back as he walks away, and feels all the guiltier for it.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>That Persephone would dare to leave him again is unthinkable, and yet she has. Worse, she has manipulated Elidibus into helping her. He had been too indulgent, given her too much freedom. He had made the same mistake twice now, and that alone is enough to make him consider simply going to fetch her and drag her back to him.<p>“She just needs time.”</p>
<p>Elidibus is attempting to placate him, and all of it combines to stoke the fire of his anger into a conflagration. He doesn’t want to hear that she needs time, he wants her back where she belongs. That was the entire point of all of this. He’s been patient, been nice, been unreasonably generous with her, and all she’s done is take from him.</p>
<p>“Emet-Selch.”</p>
<p>He waves his hand dismissively and pretends not to see the angry frown leveled at him. “Yes, time, very well.”</p>
<p>Time. As though he has not already spent half of eternity without her. No, time is not what she needs. It has never been what she needed.</p>
<p>“Please.” For a moment, Elidibus is the youngest member of the Convocation again. Still fitting in, finding his place. Not yet sure of himself. “For all our sakes, give her time. There are three other shards that all need work.”</p>
<p>And for a moment, Emet-Selch considers indulging him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Their star is dying. No one listened to her until it was too late.<p>Persephone has traded her Convocation robes and mask for common ones, though they will do nothing to hide her if Hades is looking. With everything going on, she doubts he will be. If she sees him, she knows she would come back. His sway over her is too strong.</p>
<p>She sits on the edge of a planter outside their apartment building. It’s early evening, but the streets are more or less deserted. Those not involved in finding a way to forestall the coming tragedy are in their homes, spending time with their loved ones. Hythlodaeus is upstairs alone, she’s certain. His sight is even better than Hades’, he’ll be down soon.</p>
<p>Sure enough, he rounds the corner within minutes and rushes to embrace her. Her heart aches for him, and for herself, and her tears spill over before he even lets her go.</p>
<p>“I’ve been so worried about you.”</p>
<p>She nods, looking down at her feet as she sits again. He sits beside her, shoulder to shoulder, fingers intertwined with hers and their hands resting between them. She loves him as much as she loves Hades, and she hates that he’s so lonely.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Hyth. I should have said something, but I just couldn’t…”</p>
<p>He squeezes her hand. “I know.”</p>
<p>They’re both quiet, neither of them ready to say goodbye. Because that’s what this is and they both know it.</p>
<p>“Come with me.”</p>
<p>“I can’t leave him.” She can hear the sad smile in his voice, even if she can’t see his face.</p>
<p>Long before it was the three of them, it was just Hades and Hythlodaeus. He’s been under Hades’ spell for longer than she has. But she had to at least try. She lays her head on his shoulder and lets herself cry. For him, for herself, for their star. Even for Hades.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I wasn’t stronger, for both of us.”</p>
<p>Hades may never have raised a hand against him, but Hyth is just as trapped as she is. She knows he did his best to protect her, but they were both in far, far too deep by the time she understood what it was to love Hades. She nods, wiping her face with her sleeve as she stands, pulling him up with her.</p>
<p>“I have to go. Before…” Before she loses her resolve, before Hades realizes she’s here.</p>
<p>“I know.” His voice breaks and she has to look away. If she sees the hurt on his face, she won’t be able to leave. “I love you, Percy.”</p>
<p>“I love you, Hyth. I’m sorry.” She can’t bring herself to say goodbye.</p>
<p>When the world shatters, all of them are alone.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. Chapter 34</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zenos is surprisingly easy to find. Or maybe not easy so much as wanting to be found. She makes it a few days on her own, no Hades, no Elidibus, just her, but when reality starts to elude her again she finds herself seeking out the one safe harbor left to her. He’s in Limsa Lominsa, or rather, in one of the small camps that have sprung up just outside of Limsa. She brings herself a short distance from there, and makes her way in on foot.</p>
<p>The camp brings back memories of a different lifetime, a different world. Shacks and open cook fires, suspicious looks from doorways. Once, she had come into places like this as a hero, now she’s not even certain she can save herself.</p>
<p>Nearer to the center of camp, she sees Zenos step out of one of the shacks - he has to duck through the doorway - and he immediately turns toward her. She can’t help but rush to close the distance between them, throwing her arms around him as soon as she’s close enough. He doesn’t hesitate to return the hug.</p>
<p>“You came back.” He whispers the words against the top of her head and she’s wracked with guilt. Again and again she leaves him to run back to Hades, and still he welcomes her back as though she’s done nothing wrong. She doesn’t deserve his affection.</p>
<p>He pulls her back through the door and she nearly laughs at the absolute absurdity of the former Prince of the Garlean Empire living in a shack outside of Limsa. All things considered, he seems to be adapting to this world much better than she is.</p>
<p>“Zenos… I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“You have nothing to apologize for.”</p>
<p>“Please.” She stumbles over the word on a shaky breath. “Please, let me apologize. I’ve used you, and you deserve better.”</p>
<p>“I forgive you.”</p>
<p>It’s all so simple for him. He sits on the edge of the cot to one side of the room, looks ridiculous doing it with how low the thing is, and gestures to the chair for her to sit.</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>She takes a deep breath and starts the only place she can: the beginning. There is so much story to tell, and she’s fumbling through at first, but the longer she talks the more easily it all comes out. Zenos listens quietly, betraying nothing of his feelings in his expression.</p>
<p>She tells him of Persephone and Hades, of her life with him long before the world they knew ended, of the things she can remember and of the parts of the story that are still missing. The Final Days, Hydaelyn and Zodiark, the sundering. Kaya’s story is easier to tell; the things before Zenos came back, the things that had happened between her and Emet-Selch. Things become muddled after that, but she tells him about the events on the First, returning to the Convocation, her part in the calamities here on the Source. Emet-Selch and his lies. </p>
<p>It’s freeing to get it all out, like some of the weight is lifted from her mind.</p>
<p>“I haven’t… I don’t know where he’s gone. He’s not here, or at least not close.”</p>
<p>She hopes she isn’t wrong about that. She doesn’t know if Hades is aware that Zenos is still alive, but she knows he won’t stay that way for long if they’re caught together. He may have tolerated her relationship with the prince before, but now… She remembers his jealousy well.</p>
<p>“Do you plan to leave him?”</p>
<p>That’s the question isn’t it? She’s done it once before, but that was different. And then the world had ended, for her at least. Seeming to sense her hesitation, Zenos continues.</p>
<p>“I lived with him as Solus, and he was as you describe. Jealous, controlling, violent when provoked. He will not give you up without a fight.”</p>
<p>Once, she had been the Eikon Slayer, the Champion of Eorzea. She had defeated more than one Ascian. She shakes her head. “I’m not strong enough, not any more.”</p>
<p>“I will be your strength, if you will let me.”</p>
<p>He can’t possibly be saying what she thinks, but one look at the steely resolve in his blue eyes confirms that yes, he is. She can’t voice it, even thinking it seems too dangerous.</p>
<p>“Zenos, I--”</p>
<p>“He will not stop,” he cuts her off before she can object. “He believes you are his and he will not stop until he breaks you. Look at yourself, my friend. How much has he already taken?”</p>
<p>The words sting, but she knows he’s right. He crouches in front of her, taking her hands in his.</p>
<p>“You can be free of him, but I will not make this decision for you.”</p>
<p>Her thoughts race, torn between knowing he is right and fear of what he is suggesting. Would she be able to live with herself if they did this? Realistically, Zenos would be on his own. She had bought herself a little bit of time, but Hades would come back for her. Probably sooner rather than later. And what about the rest of the Convocation? She doubts they would stand idly by if something happened to Emet-Selch.</p>
<p>“You would be doing this on your own. He won’t leave me alone again.” She takes a deep breath to steady herself, decision made. “White Auracite. That’s the only way to keep him from coming back.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. Chapter 35</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Persephone, please…” Hades reaches for her but she turns away. She has no doubt his emotions are genuine; now that he’s had time to cool off he’s scared of losing her. Again. He’s hurting, but it’s selfish.</p><p>“Why did you lie, Hades?”</p><p>“I couldn’t bear to lose you, Persephone. Not again.” His tone is plaintive, almost whining. She doesn’t want to hear it. But she had agreed to see him, and she can’t very well leave now.</p><p>If Zenos is going to attempt anything, she has to keep Hades in the dark as long as possible. And that means giving him what he desires, playing her part so that he doesn’t realize anything is wrong. When he reaches for her again, putting his hand on her shoulder, she doesn’t stop him. It’s all the invitation he needs to wrap his arms around her from behind, burying his face in her hair. Clinging to her, like he has any right to be hurt.</p><p>“You know I never intend to hurt you.”</p><p>The same excuses, over and over again. She had fallen for them for so long, why would he change now? And yet, when he holds her she can still feel his love. The ghost of happiness they once shared. If she lingers too long in his embrace, she will forget again. She turns in his arms to face him, reaching up to take his face in her hands.</p><p>“Do not lie to me again.”</p><p>He returns her gaze with equal intensity. “Do not leave me again.”</p><p>“I promise.” Somehow, her voice doesn’t shake. It isn’t a lie, not really.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>The crystal glows faintly in his palm, slightly warm and emanating energy that he could reach for, take into himself and remember. Matteus’s memories, memories of home, memories of what he lost… memories of her. Kaya, Persephone, is the only reason he is even considering this. And for the first time, he fears what he would remember more than he fears having to forget again.<p>Elidibus had kept his word to her, had sent Emet-Selch off to work on one of the other shards, but it didn’t take long for him to come back asking to see her. He could tell by her reaction that she didn’t want to, but she had gone anyway.</p><p>He closes his fingers around the stone, and he reaches out…</p><p> </p><p>
  <i>The first time he hears her laugh, his heart stops. He had seen Azem in the Convocation interviews before, but she had been mostly quiet during those. He catches sight of her, with Emet-Selch of course, through a gap in the trees. She has her hood pushed back, short hair mussed from being confined, and a smile that lights up her whole face. Matteus has never seen anything even half so beautiful. When she leans up on her toes to kiss Emet-Selch he turns away, feeling the heat creep into his cheeks.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Azem is prone to impropriety. She is frequently late to meetings, frequently has to be dragged to them by Emet-Selch, and has a bad habit of disappearing with him during particularly long winded discussions. She drives Lahabrea mad, both with her presence and her absence. But Elidibus finds the meetings are significantly duller without her. Not that he would ever mention it, of course. She is with Emet-Selch, and he has a reputation for being very jealous where his lovers are concerned. Rumor has it Nabriales tried to flirt with her when she was first appointed, and the majestic quickly found himself on the receiving end of the Architect’s temper.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The three of them, Hades, Hythlodaeus, and Persephone, are rarely without each other. Hades is the sun at the center of their universe, pulling Persephone and Hythlodaeus into orbit around him. They seem to be the very picture of happiness. And even though Elidibus knows this, it does nothing to diminish his feelings for her. It isn’t until later that he realizes Hades is a black hole, drawing everything into his darkness.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Everyone sees the shadow of a bruise under the lower curve of her mask, but no one mentions it. She is uncharacteristically quiet, and even when someone speaks to her directly she looks to Emet-Selch first. No one mentions this, either. It is painfully clear to him what happened, but it isn’t his place to say anything.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Azem tried to warn them, all of them. She saw the signs of the Final Days long before anyone else, and no one listened. He did not listen. When he offered himself as Zodiark’s heart, he went to his death with only one regret. He had not tried harder to help her.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>“Elidibus.”</p><p>Emet-Selch is across from him in the void, looking markedly more at ease than before.</p><p>“You saw her, then?”</p><p>He nods. “She has returned to the Source.”</p><p>He can tell there is more that the other wants to say, so he waits.</p><p>“Do not attempt to keep her from me, Elidibus.”</p><p>Once, Matteus might have faltered at the unspoken threat, but he has grown. His expression does not change even as Emet-Selch stares him down. Eventually, the Architect vanishes into the darkness.</p><p>He glances once more at the stone in his hand. He may begin to forget again, but for as long as he has his memories he can help Persephone. This time, he will try harder.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Howwwwww are we at 35 chapters of this???<br/>This was not my intention</p><p>If you’ve stuck with it this long, thank you thank you thank you so much for your continued support!</p><p>Just as an FYI if you’re keeping up with this as I yeet it into the abyss, I’m probably going to take a short break from this one so I can get some other WIPs.</p><p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. Chapter 36</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Annnnnd we’re back!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Persephone.</i>
</p>
<p>A sharp tug pulls her to consciousness and she gasps, blinking rapidly in the darkness. Slowly, things coalesce in her vision. Dimly lit lamp, shuttered window, wood paneled room. Hades, sitting at the desk to the side of the room. She doesn’t recognize the room. Where…?</p>
<p>“Hades?”</p>
<p>“What is it, my love?” </p>
<p>He sounds distracted, like his mind is somewhere else; he’s looking in her direction, but not at her. This isn’t home, this isn’t their bed. She sits up, pulling the blanket tighter around her.</p>
<p>“Where are we?”</p>
<p>“Gridania. Have you forgotten again?”</p>
<p>She frowns, her brows pulling together in her confusion. That word sounds familiar, somehow, but the meaning hovers just out of reach. And she isn’t sure what he means by “again,” either. </p>
<p>“Gridania.” She repeats it flatly, but still nothing comes.</p>
<p>He holds his hand out, pulling her out of bed to her feet when she grasps it. She feels dazed, almost intoxicated, like she’s been asleep for too long. Hades tsk’s quietly and waves his hand, dark aether wraps around her and forms into her robes, and her mask appears in his fingers. He leans down and kisses her forehead before sliding the mask on.</p>
<p>“Honestly, Persephone, I don’t know what you would do without me.”</p>
<p>She smiles apologetically as he pulls her thorough the darkness and deposits her in her seat. It must be important, if they’re here. He takes his own place, and others trickle in after. Only, they aren’t all here. She glances at the empty seats. Nabriales is always late, just like her. But for Lahabrea to be absent—</p>
<p>A wave of pain and nausea washes over her, so strong that she almost falls to her knees.</p>
<p>Lahabrea isn’t absent, he’s dead. The Warrior of Light killed him. She’s been in the rift, waiting for the Source to balance in the wake of the eighth and ninth rejoinings.</p>
<p>Hades has been doing this to her. Pushing her under, confusing her memories. She can’t tell how long she’s been out, and asking him won’t do any good, he never tells her. If she’s lucky, she’ll go back to the Source and be able to piece it together. But it’s equally likely that he’ll drag her off to a different shard. She is aware of what he’s doing, but she isn’t strong enough to stop him. Even when they were whole, Hades has always been so much stronger. He’s drowning her.</p>
<p>“Azem?” Elidibus doesn’t bother hiding his concern. How many times had he said her name before she noticed?</p>
<p>“I’m…” She glances over at Hades, who couldn’t look less interested if he tried. “My apologies, I am not feeling quite myself.”</p>
<p>“How fares the Source?”</p>
<p>“Slow to recover.” It’s the only thing she can think to say, not knowing how long she has been gone. It could have been days, weeks. She has no idea what she’s missed.</p>
<p>“The remaining cities are improving quickly now that the storms have cleared, but it will not fully recover for some time. We must delay any further action until the Source is balanced, or we risk causing too much damage”</p>
<p>Her anger flares. Of course he would know the state of things, he hasn’t been drowning in the rift for the last however long. He doesn’t even look at her, affecting the same bored expression, but she can feel the warning shot of his aether down her spine, like bolts of levin. How fortunate that no one else in the Convocation is gifted with the same sight he has. Her lip nearly curls.</p>
<p>“Is there something you wish to say, Azem?”</p>
<p>“Thank you for your insight, Emet-Selch.”</p>
<p>She keeps her tone as level as she can manage in the face of the smug tilt of his mouth below his mask. Elsewhere, she hears Fandaniel snicker and Elidibus clear his throat pointedly. The conversation moves on, but only continues briefly. She doesn’t hear any of it. </p>
<p>As usually happens, she is left alone with Elidibus and Hades while everyone else leaves. All three of them depart their seats and meet in the center.</p>
<p>“Are you alright, Azem?”</p>
<p>She can hear the question he asks without really asking, but she nods. She isn’t safe with Hades, she knows it and he knows it. He is also likely aware of what the other has been doing, but he can’t say anything about that either. Nothing’s changed, not in the thousands and thousands of years that have passed.</p>
<p>“I’m fine, Elidibus. I appreciate your concern.”</p>
<p>He looks from her to Hades and back again, then nods once and disappears as well, off to whatever it is he does. Hades holds out his hand again.</p>
<p>“Come, Persephone.”</p>
<p>Panic claws its way up her chest. She doesn’t want to go under again, not so soon. She doesn’t know what else she’ll have forgotten when she wakes again, and that terrifies her more than the darkness. Her head shakes; she wants to step away from him, but holds her ground.</p>
<p>“Please, Hades, not yet.”</p>
<p>His hand drops, face twisting in irritation. “If you are feeling unwell, perhaps more rest—”</p>
<p>“A few days, please,” she swallows thickly, “I beg you. Just a few days.”</p>
<p>It’s a risk, pushing him like this, but she can’t let him pull her back in. Eventually his expression softens slightly.</p>
<p>“I could never deny you, my love. Go.”</p>
<p>She starts to turn away from him, intent on getting out of here and out of his presence before he changes his mind, but he stops her before she makes it.</p>
<p>“By the way, did you know your husband survived?”</p>
<p>The way he says “husband” makes his disdain clear, but she has no idea what he’s talking about. She is his, has only ever been his. Her confusion is apparent as she faces him again, her addled mind not quite connecting the fragments of her memories. He’s watching her, searching for deception. How she could deceive him when her mind is the mess he’s made of it, she doesn’t quite know. She shakes her head slowly and he turns away with a wave of his hand as darkness billows open before him.</p>
<p>“Ah well, put it from your mind. If you don’t remember, it must not be important.”</p>
<p>He’s gone before she can respond, leaving her overwhelmed by her own fear and doubt. How much has he taken from her that she isn’t aware of?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. Chapter 37</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Eleven Years After the Calamity</i>
  </p>
</div>It had taken Zenos a year to track them down. Rumors and whispers, begging and stealing information to locate individuals who very much did not want to be found. This was a different kind of hunt, but he relished the challenge the same as any other, until at last he stood in what was once an adventurer’s haven. Most of the buildings were reduced to rubble or husks, but one remained at the south end of the town. The door was distressed, intentionally left to appear as though no one had entered in a very long time, but he could see the aetheric energy within. With a hesitation he didn’t think he possessed, he raised his hand to knock. The door opened a crack, just enough for an older lalafellin woman to look out. Shock registered, then anger.<p>“No, absolutely not.”</p><p>She attempted to close the door, but he used his foot to hold it open. He wouldn’t force entry unless absolutely necessary.</p><p>“Please. I know full well I have no right to ask, but I need your help.”</p><p>The woman looked him up and down, but didn’t open the door any further.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“I need to kill an Ascian.”</p><p>Long moments passed where she just stared at him, eyes narrowed slightly, and then she stepped back and allowed him to push the door open enough to enter. Once inside, she closed and bolted the door behind him, then beckoned him to follow her through the long-abandoned bar. They passed through two more doors, into an inner room where they joined three more: a pale Au Ra, another lalafell, and an aging Garlean that he thought he recognized. </p><p>The Garlean man was the first to his feet, standing so abruptly that his chair clattered to the floor.</p><p>“Seven Hells!”</p><p>He reached for a weapon, then seemed to realize he wasn’t in possession of one, but stepped between Zenos and the rest of the group anyway. Admirable, if stupid. But he wasn’t there to harm any of them.</p><p>“Zenos yae Galvus. To what do we owe the pleasure?” The hooded lalafell spoke next. He recognized that one, though not her name, from a time when he had still been the Viceroy.</p><p>“The Empire is long gone, there is no need for titles. I’ve come to ask for your help.”</p><p>The group exchanged wary glances, communicating without words, until finally the white-haired Garlean righted his seat and gestured to an empty chair off to the side of the room. Zenos pulled it over to join them at the table. This was, admittedly, further than he had thought he would get.</p><p>“He says he wants to kill an Ascian.” </p><p>The first woman, the lalafell from the door, spoke up helpfully. He nodded in response.</p><p>“I understand I will need white auracite, and that you have some experience with that.”</p><p>“Why should we believe anything you say?” The Garlean nearly snarled at him.</p><p>Zenos started to open his mouth to speak, but the hooded lalafell raised her hand to stop him.</p><p>“I’ve no doubt that were he here to kill us, we would be dead already. We will hear your story, but I will promise nothing more.”</p><p>For a woman he kidnapped and used for experimentation, she was surprisingly open to hearing him out. And so he told his story as honestly as he could.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Twelve Years After the Calamity</i>
  </p>
</div>Kaya drops in and out of existence, sometimes it’s a day or two, other times as long as a week. Zenos hasn’t seen her since the last time outside of Limsa, and he doesn’t know if it is because she can’t get away from Emet-Selch, or if she’s had second thoughts. All he can do is continue on.<p>“Zenos?”</p><p>A tentative hand brushes his back and he looks over at his shoulder at Mikoto. The little Au Ra is the kindest of the group, though everyone is polite enough. It’s the best he can hope for, given who they are and who he was. She holds out a plate of food.</p><p>“You can join us, you know.”</p><p>Even a year on he is still very much an outsider. How much of that is his own fault, he can’t say for sure. He takes the plate from her and sets it on the table in front of him and she lingers a moment longer before accepting defeat and returning to the rest of the group. He can feel their eyes on his back until the silence becomes oppressive and he relents, standing and crossing the room to the other table. Mikoto gives him a small smile before turning her attention to her food. He doesn’t join in the sporadic conversation, most of it having nothing to do with him, until Krile turns to him.</p><p>“It’s been two years. How do you know she’s still out there?”</p><p>They don’t truly care. Although he left out the worst of Kaya’s actions, there was no glossing over the fact that she had betrayed them, betrayed the world, in siding with the Ascians. They couldn’t understand what she had been through, what Emet-Selch had done to her. She had become a villain to them.</p><p>“She is.”</p><p>It’s been nearly a month since he last felt her presence, but she will return. It took them months to find the auracite and fashion it into something usable for his purpose, and the next time she comes back, with or without the Ascian, he will be ready.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Even moving as fast as he can manage, it still takes Zenos two days to reach Gridania from Mor Dhona. Kaya had disappeared, only briefly, almost as soon as he felt her presence, but returned to the inn alone. She isn’t there when he reaches the city about mid-day, but he tracks her down in the forest outside of the gates. She looks the same - hasn’t aged a day in the thirteen years that have passed - sitting under a tree with her arms around her knees, staring out at the river flowing nearby. Despite the fact that he does nothing to conceal it, she doesn’t seem to register his approach until he’s directly beside her. Her startled yelp frightens off birds in the trees above them and he takes a step back as she scrambles to her feet.<p>“You’ve lost your edge, my friend.”</p><p>There is no recognition on her face, just a wary expression as she takes a slow step away from him, aether flaring around her hands as she readies to attack. A pit forms in his stomach; two years waiting for her, trying to find a way to save her, and she has no idea who he is.</p><p>“What has he done to you?”</p><p>“Do I—” She cuts off with a pained sound, both hands coming up to grip the sides of her head. When she looks up, there is raw panic in her eyes. “No, please. You have to go. If he finds out, he’ll kill you.”</p><p>He can’t hold back the flood of rage and hate that washes through him at the thought of the once fierce warrior, the only one to ever truly satisfy him, reduced to this. And it’s his fault; his own selfish, arrogant actions in that garden so long ago lead to this. Two long steps bring him to her so he can pull her into his arms, holding her tight even as sobs shake her and her tears soak into his shirt.</p><p>“He can try.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. Chapter 38</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The white auracite crystal glows faintly, innocent looking despite its purpose. That such a small thing would be the downfall of ancient beings, that she once wielded a similar device for the same purpose… It is difficult for her to wrap her mind around it. That mortal life, the life of Kaya, adventurer, Warrior of Light, feels like a dream to her. One she can’t fully recall.</p>
<p>“We don’t have much time. A day, maybe two before he comes for me.”</p>
<p>She has little confidence in their plan. Or the plan that Zenos says is theirs. She doesn’t actually remember agreeing to this, or telling him how to kill an Ascian. He hadn’t told her how he found the auracite to begin with, nor how he fashioned the crystal sat on the desk in her room.</p>
<p>“Can you fight?”</p>
<p>Against Hades? She shakes her head, not surprised to find her tears coming back. Years of manipulation, fear, hurt piled on top of each other. Maybe if she had left him when she realized what he was, or the first time he hit her, or the hundredth, maybe then she could have prevented all of this. But now, she isn’t strong enough, physically or mentally, to stand against him.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry…”</p>
<p>Zenos takes her hand, squeezing it gently.</p>
<p>“I said I would be your strength, and I meant it.”</p>
<p>She is not fully certain it will be enough. Will she be able to live with herself if it isn’t? She may not have a choice. If Zenos fails, there is no telling what Hades will do to her.</p>
<p>“Will you train with me?”</p>
<p>Although she doubts she’ll be much help, she nods. Anything to take her mind off what is to come.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Zenos finds a clearing in the forest outside the city, far enough that they won’t be disturbed by anyone that happens along the road and large enough to give them room to really fight. Once they start, her combat skills return to her surprisingly quickly, which is good because he does not go easy on her and these are not training weapons.</p>
<p>She brings her katana up to block his downswing, grunting with the effort of holding him off. His speed and strength are still overwhelming, even after all these years; age does not seem to have affected him. As her arms start to give, she lashes out with her aether and knocks him back. His step falters, sending him to one knee, and her eyes widen in shock when the realization of what she did hits her. She lowers her weapon and rushes to him, but stops short when she notices he’s laughing breathlessly.</p>
<p>“Zenos?”</p>
<p>“You are still so strong, my friend.”</p>
<p>Her face heats at the compliment and she looks away. She had done that unconsciously, she still didn’t have control of her aether. But for the first time, she wonders if that might not be Hades’s doing as well. If he’s kept her from understanding, from seeing how powerful she truly is.</p>
<p>“Would that we had more time for you to truly master this.”</p>
<p>It’s an uncomfortable reminder of what she’s doing out here in the first place. She raises her weapon and resets her stance as Zenos gets to his feet.</p>
<p>“Don’t think, just feel. I know you can do this.”</p>
<p>She almost believes him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Although she wants to feel safe with Zenos, there is no way for her to relax, not fully. She is constantly reaching out, feeling for Hades’s presence. He could come back for her at any moment, catching them unprepared, and put an end to this entire reckless plan before it starts. She eats when Zenos returns to the room with food, but she can’t sleep. Even when he does, she only sits on the bed next to him, her mind working overtime running through every possible scenario, every outcome, everything she could say to Hades when he does finally appear.</p>
<p>It’s just before dawn when she shakes Zenos awake with a hand on his shoulder. He wakes instantly, immediately alert despite the early hour.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“What if we bring the fight to him?”</p>
<p>Blue eyes narrow at her in the low light.</p>
<p>“If… I call him, he’ll come to me. You would be ready.”</p>
<p>She can almost see his mind turning over the idea, weighing the risk.</p>
<p>“Is that what you want?”</p>
<p>What she wants is to stop checking her surroundings, to sleep without wondering when she’ll wake up again, to know who she’ll be when she does wake up. She wants peace. If there was a way to achieve that end without Zenos risking his life, she would take it in a heartbeat. But she knows there isn’t. She nods.</p>
<p>Zenos sits up, cupping her face in his hands. “There is no going back once we start this, you understand? If something happens to me—”</p>
<p>“Don’t, please. I can’t think about that.”</p>
<p>He brushes a tear away with his thumb and presses his lips to her forehead.</p>
<p>“I defied death once for you. Do not doubt that I would do so again.”</p>
<p>She kisses him back, clinging to him desperately, terrified that this will be the last time.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>“Emet-Selch, you must stop this. You must see what it’s doing to her.”<p>Elidibus had followed him to the Ninth shard. Pashtarot’s domain, really, but Emet-Selch would have nothing to do with Fandaniel and his work on the Eleventh.</p>
<p>“She will be fine.”</p>
<p>The way he says it, he believes it, and that is more frightening than watching Persephone fall apart. Is this the future that awaits him? The descent into madness as the years pass?</p>
<p>“You are breaking her, Hades! I won’t let you—”</p>
<p>“You won’t let me.”</p>
<p>Thousands upon thousands of years, and this is what becomes of them.</p>
<p>“Hear me, Matteus,” Hades spits his true name with disdain, “I tolerated your attachment to Persephone because she found it endearing. But Persephone is mine. I will not allow you or anyone else to take her from me.”</p>
<p>Once, he might have backed down. No longer.</p>
<p>“I will not allow you to destroy her.”</p>
<p>He watches Hades’s face contort with rage, but departs before the other Ascian can respond.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. Chapter 39</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW: Major character death ahead</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Breathe.”</p><p>Zenos squeezes her shoulder and she draws a trembling breath. They should have picked somewhere else. Anywhere else. This is his domain. She looks up at the stone pillars, the empty Convocation seats, the effigy of Zodiark. However this goes, there will be another empty seat when the Convocation next meets. It only remains to be seen which one.</p><p>She’s traded her robes for what little gear they could scrape together in the scant few hours they had to prepare. A katana, much too large for her, weighs heavy on her back. She won’t use it, but Zenos insisted she have something. Just in case. She steps forward, heart pounding, every ilm of her shaking. Her eyes drift closed. Another deep breath. She reaches out.</p><p>Hades.</p><p>“Let none say that I do not give credit where it is due.”</p><p>His voice echoes in the void before the billowing purple-black darkness opens before her. Hades steps out, slow pace carrying him forward across the stone floor.</p><p>“You are a survivor, my dear great-grandson. Or were, since it seems you have chosen to ignore my generous warning.”</p><p>“Hades—”</p><p>She moves to step between them, one last ditch effort to stop the inevitable.</p><p>“I was not speaking to you, Persephone. I will deal with you in a moment.”</p><p>He looks down at her, chin inclined slightly to give the full effect. Her face burns with shame and anger, but she can’t find her voice. The scrape of steel from behind her is unnaturally loud and he looks past her to where Zenos stands, his blade now drawn. His scowl turns into a smirk, though there is no amusement in his eyes.</p><p>“Has she manipulated you into fighting for her as well? Poor, pathetic Persephone. Always the victim.”</p><p>Golden eyes turn back down to her, smirk gone.</p><p>“You will step aside, or I will move you myself.”</p><p>Her hands ball into fists at her sides even as her heart threatens to break her ribs, fear and rage battling for supremacy within her.</p><p>“Move, Kaya.”</p><p>There is an edge to Zenos’s voice that she hasn’t heard in what seems a lifetime, but she knows it isn’t directed at her. She side-steps away from Hades, turning so she can see them both.</p><p>“Oh my, if I had known brute strength was the key to your obedience, I could have saved myself so much wasted effort.”</p><p>She clings to her rage, knowing that if she lets it pass she will second guess everything. She can’t let him win, can’t let him drag her back into his darkness.</p><p>“You’ve caught me feeling indulgent. I had planned on simply killing you, but I will grant you the fight you are so desirous of.”</p><p>Something flickers at the edge of her awareness, but it is quickly eclipsed by horror as she watches the darkness expand around Hades, transforming him into the monster she remembers only in dreams. Zenos tightens his grip on the hilt of his weapon, jaw set firm. There is no manic joy on his face, no thrill of combat, only grim determination. She shrinks back, retreating to the edge of the stone circle. She does not want to watch, but can’t look away.</p><p>Were it not for the circumstances, witnessing Zenos fight would be a thrill in and of itself. His patience has only grown with age, and she watches as he dodges between both physical and aetheric attacks, dealing blows of his own only to bait Hades into the offensive. If she extends her own awareness, she can nearly see what she’s sure he’s seeing with his resonant abilities - the shifting of ambient aether where attacks will land.</p><p>Zenos wields his katana with brutal efficiency, striking at limbs between physical attacks, advancing ever closer to Hades with each movement. She can feel when Hades begins to lose control, when the damage Zenos has inflicted begins to pain him, even in this form. Blood does not fall from open wounds, but she can see the aether draining away slowly. Too slowly. Short of a massive wound, Hades will far outlast Zenos. And the auracite will not work until he’s weakened.</p><p>With a speed that no mortal should possess, Zenos lunges across the stone and drives his blade into one huge arm. A roar of pain comes from everywhere and nowhere, so loud in her head that it feels as though it’s inside her. The answering attack is near instant, a wave of aether that pulses out and drives her and Zenos both to their knees. She struggles to her feet, watches Zenos do the same. He’s injured, his energy beginning to flag, but he resets his grip and begins the dance again.</p><p>All she can see is aether and blood, flashes of steel as Zenos advances and strikes. It isn’t enough. Zenos will fall and it will be her fault. Guilt paralyzes her. A blast of magic brings him to one knee and he loses his grip on his katana. She sees Hades raise his arm to strike and—</p><p>“No!”</p><p>Power pulses from her, hairline fractures webbing across the floor in all directions. She can hear her heart pounding in her ears, Zenos’s labored breathing from behind her. Feel the blind rage rolling from Hades in waves.</p><p>“Get out of my way, Persephone.”</p><p>She doesn’t even consciously remember moving between them. But she won’t, can’t, let him take anything else from her. Not ever again.</p><p>“No, Hades.”</p><p>Her hands tremble as she draws the blade from the sheath on her back. Invisible fire blazes across her skin, but she grits her teeth and presses back against it with her own aether. She can be stronger, has to be stronger, for all the times she was not.</p><p>“No more. If you mean to kill him, you will have to fight me as well.”</p><p>The pain fades, replaced by the soothing pull of darkness as Hades changes tactics. This is harder to push back, harder to resist, and she falters.</p><p>Persephone. The silken purr of his voice is in her head. Do not make me hurt you. You are mine, my love, nothing can change that.</p><p>It takes everything she has to force him from her mind.</p><p>“You do not own me, Hades!”</p><p>Time seems to slow. Her hair stands on end as though the air itself is charged. She can almost see the shockwave of raw energy that he throws at her. The force is enough to push her back, but she fights it, feels the rush as the wave breaks around her. At her back, Zenos has risen again.</p><p>“If you are resolved to die with him, then so be it.”</p><p>She can’t dwell on the fact that he’d seemingly rather kill her than let her go, though the knowledge hurts. Feel, don’t think. She sets her grip on the katana’s hilt as Zenos steps past her, letting him take the lead. They strike at opposite sides, dodging aetheric attacks as they move closer to Hades. She fights with blade and magic, shielding Zenos as best she can when he can’t dodge the incoming blasts.</p><p>The cracks appear slowly, so subtle at first that she doesn’t trust her feelings. Hades is overextending himself, trying to defend himself on both sides. If she can just find a way to use those cracks, bind this monstrous form to give Zenos the time he needs… His aether pushes back against her attempts, every ilm she gains, she’s pressed back by half. With enough time, she could do it, but it’s too slow. As she begins to withdraw completely, a sudden surge of power rushes through her. Unfamiliar, but she doesn’t have time to consider its source as it bolsters her own strength and she’s able to hold Hades in check.</p><p>The flash of white light is blinding in the darkness of the rift. With their aether so tightly intertwined, she can feel the shuddering pain as Hades resists, then succumbs to the auracite. It leaves her on hands and knees, gasping from the residual effects. There is a noise like shattering glass. And then silence.</p><p>Long, painful silence as the horror of what she’s done sets in.</p><p>“Kaya.”</p><p>A pained grunt followed by a heavy thud. Zenos. She can’t stand, so she crawls to his side, hands shaking as she surveys the damage. Blood everywhere. She isn’t a healer, she can’t do anything about this. Even in death, Hades would take everything from her.</p><p>Zenos mumbles something, but she can’t make sense of the words. Footsteps approach from her side and she looks up sharply. Elidibus. He reaches for her and she raises a shaking hand, using what little energy she has to shield both herself and Zenos.</p><p>“Persephone…”</p><p>“Stay back!”</p><p>A weak hand grasps her arm. Too many injuries. Blue eyes slip closed with another mumble. She thinks she catches the end of a word, and she can only hope she’s right. Only hope there’s still time. Without another thought, she pulls them both through the rift.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Uhhhhh. Here it is. It happened.</p><p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">The Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. Chapter 40</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Thirteen years with no sign of Ascian activity, only to have one appear with no warning in the middle of the Rising Stones. What was left of it, anyway. Not only an Ascian, but the one time Warrior of Light. With the former prince of Garlemald. Their arrival was met with a not insignificant amount of cursing from Cid, until Tataru registered the amount of blood on Zenos and the stricken look on the Ascian’s face.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>She lingered only long enough to help move the Garlean to a bed, and ensure they were going to try to heal him, and then she was gone again.</i>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kaya stands on a crumbling terrace within the ruins of Revenant’s Toll. Everything is gone now, except the Rising Stones. Zenos is still alive, but she doesn’t want to leave, even if she can’t be with him. She knows the people there, people she once called friends, would kill her given the chance. She’s surprised they would offer aid to Zenos at all.</p>
<p>The aether shifts beside her, announcing Elidibus’s arrival.</p>
<p>“May I join you?”</p>
<p>She snorts. “Do I have a choice?”</p>
<p>“If you do not wish me to be here, I will leave.”</p>
<p>Finally, she turns her head, looking at him from the corner of her eye. His expression is guarded, but she can still feel his hurt and concern. She’s just killed the only other unsundered Ancient, and Elidibus is hurt by her reaction to him.</p>
<p>“I don’t fault you for what you did.”</p>
<p>Once, when the world was whole, a young Matteus had been in love with her. He had never said anything, but she had known. He had wanted to help, had told her she deserved better, but he had been afraid to do more. She meets his eyes, and knows that he remembers.</p>
<p>“That was your power I felt.”</p>
<p>He had given her his strength, helped her in the only way he could. He nods.</p>
<p>“I… I know what he did to you. What he was still doing to you. I’m sorry I never stopped him. The Convocation failed you. I failed you.”</p>
<p>When she collapses under the weight of it all, he is there to catch her. Hades, Emet-Selch, is gone and it’s her fault. Elidibus holds her through great gasping sobs, through the tears that soak his robes, no thought given to the blood on her hands, both real and imagined. So much blood, so much death. Sins she can never begin to atone for.</p>
<p>She had to do it, his death was the only way for her to<br/>
have peace. </p>
<p>She should have found another way. She could have made things better between them.</p>
<p>He would have killed her.</p>
<p>Did he ever love her? Had they ever been happy together?</p>
<p>Lies on top of lies on top of lies.</p>
<p>She loses all track of time, her sobs trailing into silent tears, until there is nothing left within her.</p>
<p>Even then, Elidibus does not let go.</p>
<p>“What now?”</p>
<p>“Do you want to stay with Zenos?”</p>
<p>She nods against his chest. At least until she knows he’s okay. She can’t think further past that, not yet. Finally, she straightens up and Elidibus unwraps his arms from around her.</p>
<p>“I will be here if you need me. Please be careful.”</p>
<p>He starts to turn away, but she grabs his hand to stop him before he gets too far.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Elidibus… Matteus.”</p>
<p>She’s not alright, not by a long shot, but at least she knows whatever is to come, she isn’t alone.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>———</p>
</div>Elemental healing is a far cry from Garlean medicine. Zenos is keenly aware of every ilm of his body, every ache, every pain, every wound. He can’t consciously recall having ever felt like this after a fight. His lungs protest the deep breath he takes, and against his better judgment he pulls himself up to sitting to look around the room. Krile occupies a chair against the wall, and he wonders if she’s been with him the entire time.<p>“I’m surprised you’re still breathing.”</p>
<p>“What does that say about your healing skill?”</p>
<p>It’s a poor attempt at a joke; she doesn’t laugh. She crosses the room to stand by his bed, then puts her hand out over his arm - it’s about the only thing the lalafell can reach. Immediately he feels the warm glow of healing aether through his system, easing some of his hurts.</p>
<p>“You were nearly dead when the Ascian—”</p>
<p>“Kaya.”</p>
<p>“Kaya. Brought you here.”</p>
<p>She is nearby, he can feel her.</p>
<p>“How long?”</p>
<p>“Two day, give or take a few bells.”</p>
<p>Zenos closes his eyes and leans back against the wall. He needs to see her, to know she’s alright. To know she doesn’t hate him for what he did. He doesn’t question that it was the right thing, but he knows how great the loss was for her.</p>
<p>“You can stay with us.”</p>
<p>The rest of it goes without saying. He can stay with them, but she won’t be welcome. Zenos shakes his head. She is the only thing that matters, for as long as she will continue to have him. Krile doesn’t seem surprised.</p>
<p>“I hope we do not have cause to meet as enemies again, Zenos.”</p>
<p>Words of gratitude stick in his throat. He should thank her, thank all of them, for everything they’ve done for him. Instead, he watches her leave in silence. He feels his age, the hard years since the calamity, when he finally pulls himself to his feet. No longer a young man, but still strong enough to do what needed to be done, for her. Zenos finds his shirt, washed and mended, and pulls it on with a wince. He’ll need fresh bandages, remedies, potions, but those are things he can find easily enough in Gridania, if he can get there. First, though, he needs to find Kaya.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She’s sitting on a partially collapsed staircase towards the north end of the ruined town, ornamented robes dusty from the stones, though he notices she doesn’t wear the gloves or mask. She watches him approach, but doesn’t move or speak. He sits down beside her, ignoring the protesting pain in his body. Kaya hangs her head, her arms wrapped around her middle.</p>
<p>“It should have been me. I don’t deserve you, Zenos. Not then and certainly not now. I wish…” she trails off, voice barely a whisper when she continues, “I wish you had killed me.”</p>
<p>Emotions roll through him faster than he can process. He aches for her, hates that this is what she’s become, wants to shake sense into her. But he sits still and silent for long moments, attempting to wrangle his thoughts and feelings into something coherent.</p>
<p>“You are so much more than what he made of you, Kaya. I would spend the rest of my life reminding you of that, if you will have me.”</p>
<p>“I don’t deserve—”</p>
<p>“Love isn’t about what we deserve.”</p>
<p>She looks up suddenly, eyes searching his as if for confirmation that she’s heard him correctly. He doesn’t know when he realized it, or if the feeling has always been there, but he knows it more certainly than he’s known anything.</p>
<p>“I can’t offer you the world anymore. But everything I have, everything I am, is yours.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Screech at me on Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch’s Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. Chapter 41</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <i>Twenty Years After the Calamity</i>
  </p>
</div>Eorzea isn’t what it once was, but the Source has moved on as it always does in the wake of Rejoinings. The cities are rebuilding, order emerging from chaos. New adventurers, children who have no memory of the world before, have taken up the mantle of their predecessors. No doubt Hydaelyn will find a new champion among their number. It will matter little, in the end. Whether it takes five years or a hundred years, what are a few mortal lifetimes in the face of eternity?<p>The heat and sunshine wash over Elidibus as he steps from the darkness onto the sand in front of the little beach shack where Kaya and Zenos have taken up residence. He doesn’t even reach the door before it’s swinging open and she’s rushing out, her whole face lit with a smile. Her mortal vessel has aged, gracefully, and he wonders if she will keep the same appearance when this one passes. Zenos follows her out, though more slowly; he never fully recovered from the fight with Emet-Selch, but if it bothers him he doesn’t let on. The Garlean offers a nod in greeting, but doesn’t leave the shade of the porch. Kaya crosses the sand, barefoot, the thin fabric of her dress billowing in the afternoon breeze, to his side.</p>
<p>“Matteus, you know you don’t have to wear your robes all the time.”</p>
<p>He looks away, uncomfortably aware of the way his face warms at her teasing. She loops her arm through his, guiding them toward the water’s edge.</p>
<p>“Is this visit official, or personal?”</p>
<p>They come to a stop just out of reach of the waves. Her smile, her teasing is gone as she stares out at the ocean under a cloudless blue sky. She hides it well, but she hasn’t fully recovered either. Some days are better than others, but it is rare for a night to pass without nightmares, rare for a day to pass that she doesn’t reach into the shadows to check for Hades’s presence. Some of this he knows from her, and some of it Zenos has shared with him, in their rare interactions.</p>
<p>“The Ninth is ready.” They are so close, three shards to bring the star whole, or as whole as it can be. It will have to be enough. Kaya stiffens visibly. He has to remind himself how young she is and how much she has already been through. This will be the fourth rejoining in her mortal lifetime. “I don’t expect the next to be as severe.”</p>
<p>She closes her eyes and the breeze ruffles her hair - cut short, now. He can’t recall when she started wearing it short again… Persephone wore her hair like this. She must remember that, but he doesn’t dare mention it.</p>
<p>“What then, Elidibus? Do we have the strength to summon Zodiark? What happens when the followers of Hydaelyn call down their goddess again?”</p>
<p>She asks nothing he hasn’t considered himself. Of course she would be the one to voice it. He doesn’t have the answers she seeks, maybe he never has. She sighs.</p>
<p>“The Source will be ready.”</p>
<p>They are both silent for a long time, watching the waves roll in against the shore until the sun begins to dip toward the horizon.</p>
<p>“Will he come back when we restore the world?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. His soul, Lahabrea’s… I don’t know what became of them.”</p>
<p>She turns her head to look at him, smiling sadly. From the look in her eyes, even without her saying it, he knows. “Souls have permanence, Matteus.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>IT IS DONE.</p>
<p>I had to get that last shot of angst in there, it just felt right for the story.</p>
<p>Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who read and commented and supported me through this. It’s been a heck of a journey.</p>
<p>Want to shout about all these feelings?? Or join the lovely enabling people who made this all possible? Hop in Discord! <a href="https://discord.gg/K9PW9qv">Emet-Selch’s Wholesomely Debauched and Enabling Book Club</a></p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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